I am not innocent, but I am not guilty either, I just like someone.

——Excerpted from "I'll Wait for You Until I'm Thirty-five" by Nan Kang Bai Qi

The protagonist Nan Kang is a real gay writer who can barely be called his husband That person's name is Zhang Jilong. Like all loves, Nankang and his husband were very destined. One lives in Gansu and the other lives in Inner Mongolia. They are thousands of miles apart, but they were admitted to the same university and assigned to the same dormitory. Nan Kang once wrote: "Is there a mysterious and incomprehensible force guiding us? When two circles intersect at a certain point, we will meet. Or, everything is just a coincidence."

Speaking of their love history, it is indeed very heart-wrenching. Maybe the bloody plots in romance novels are based on reality, otherwise how could Nan Kang have a crush on Mr. Zhang. The first time the hazy secret love touched reality was a collective drunkenness. Nankang climbed into Mr. Zhang's mosquito net due to his drunkenness and gently put his hand on his shoulder. He had a good night's sleep.

After that, it becomes clear. Mr. Zhang began to avoid him, and Nankang understood very well. Not only did she alienate him, she even deliberately found a girlfriend to make him angry. But all these little tricks are still not as good as getting sick. For some unknown reason, Nankang suddenly fell ill, causing seven people in the dormitory to take turns taking care of him. Nankang listened to his accusations and finally got angry when he heard the word "pervert" and kicked him out.

One inexplicable night later, Mr. Zhang suddenly reached out and put his hand on his shoulder.

After hooking up, it’s natural to abuse the singles all the way. Nankang thought he was a pig and supervised him to lose weight, but in the end it made him feel bad; he accompanied him home in the name of a classmate, and their underground love affair was frustrating, but very happy. He inexplicably likes to hear her husband say dirty words, likes to kiss his stubbled face, and likes to deliberately bully him when playing cards...

Look at this man, he says he likes me, but what does he ask me to do? sad.

My husband moved away. The reason is simple and to the point - Nankang is not a girl, so she cannot marry him or have children. We have been in love for seven years, but they are no better than a worldly person. Reality is like this, extremely cruel. What's even more disgusting is that he hopes Nankang will come to watch the ceremony and give him blessings. This hurt more than a knife slicing through his heart.

My husband sent an email saying: He missed me, said he likes me, and asked me not to blame him.

The only informed friend from the university came from afar when he heard the news of Mr. Zhang’s marriage. He angrily rejected the invitation on his behalf, hugged him and comforted him, saying that he could find someone better. Nan Kang burst into tears and told him almost in despair: "Whenever I think about being with someone else in the future, all I can think about is him. There is no way, if he is not this person, he will not do it." His friend patted his back gently. Back, "Nankang, Nankang, grow up quickly."

Imagining the newlyweds of my husband and his wife, I finally selfishly sent him a text message: "I will wait for you until you are thirty. Five years old, if you don't come by then, I will find someone else." But not long after, Nankang threw himself into the Xiangjiang River and committed suicide.

The 35-year-old he promised became forever.

I want him to be happy more fervently than anyone else in the world. Just thinking that I am not part of this happiness still makes me very sad.

——

In addition, I have to say something off-topic. Chai Jin said: "Love should be the attitude of one soul towards another soul, rather than the reaction of one organ to another organ." What we call homosexuality and homosexuality are actually not as unbearable as we imagine. They should have equal rights as we do, including the right to marry. So I hope everyone can treat homosexuality with the same eyesight as heterosexuality. They are not monsters, they are our fellow citizens. I hope everyone can treat them well.