My daughter had contacts with teenagers in the society in June last year (165438+1October), but I only discovered it in February this year, which is also our negligence.

We care about her very much in our daily life, and class may give her a little more pressure (because her brothers and sisters are all very good, one is a doctor and the other is a graduate student). We often let her tell her brothers and sisters.

The living environment at home should be ok. She shares a room with her grandmother, who never bothers her. Next semester, she asked us for mobile phones and mp3 players. She said there were students in the class who used it, but we didn't agree because the school didn't allow it. She stayed with us for a few days.

Reply to parents' questions:

It is not difficult to see from what you said that you don't know much about children and don't care enough. Maybe you successfully educated her brothers and sisters in the same way, but you didn't realize that the children after 1985 are very different from those before in the world. It is no exaggeration to use the word "across the times", because this generation of children is very different from the previous children in life and spirit, and she needs this generation of children. And you can't blame her for her outstanding personality, which is caused by this society.

And you happen to be far from what your daughter wants in this respect.

Children in this period need the affirmation and trust of their parents most. She is in the second rising period of her life (middle school), what difficulties and problems she may encounter in school;

Girls naturally like to keep things in their hearts. Usually, if you ask her to be equal to her brothers and sisters in life and work, she won't dare to go with you, let alone tell you about her interaction with young people in society.

After a long time, her psychology will go to extremes, and she will start to find something that she knows you don't agree with to express her dissatisfaction with you.

Especially when she wants a mobile phone and an MP3 player, you may just say "no" or tell her that it is not allowed at school. Let me ask, what if the school allows it? Will you buy it for her? So how can you convince a daughter whose position is completely opposite to yours, a reason that you can't even accept?

This is just an example. There are bound to be more things in your life and your daughter's life, and you may deal with these feelings in the same way. So it is normal for your daughter to associate with social youth.

Having said that, let's talk about the solution!

First, hard pressure is not as good as hard pressure.

Talk to your daughter and try to get to know this social youth from the side. Why is it attractive to your daughter, or is that social youth chasing your daughter? Is that social youth really what you think? What kind of help did that social youth give your daughter? Can you give it to your daughter, too Only by finding the root of the problem can you treat your daughter positively.

Second, criticism is better than praise.

Because you criticize her too much at ordinary times, especially comparing her with her brother and sister, your daughter lives in the shadow of her brother and sister. She may think you are unfair to her. Then from today on, you praise every little thing she does right, even the smallest thing, and she may suddenly feel your concern for her.

In the past, a friend of mine, like you, only criticized his own children, and his children became more and more disobedient. Later, he asked me, and I only told him four words "praise, affirmation". According to my statement, he recorded everything the child accomplished (child success, praise form) and affirmed and praised it at the meeting. As a result, ten days later, his children took the initiative to tell him that he was wrong before.

Third, give her personality and hobbies back to him and let her daughter be herself.

Everyone's lifestyle is different. Even a child, you can't impose her brother and sister's lifestyle and goals on her. Now this society is a pluralistic society, and you don't have to take the postgraduate entrance examination to be a good boy. Let your daughter exert her subjective initiative and guide her in her own way.

For example, if you find that she has done something wrong, you can talk to her through discussion, or tell her what you think through suggestions, and tell your daughter that what you said is only suggestions, and she will make the final decision.

She is still on her own for the rest of her life. So after a period of time, when you establish a relationship of mutual trust with your daughter, she will tell you everything that happened outside and discuss it with you, but you must remember that even if she makes a big mistake, you should tell her calmly;

Because things have already happened, it's no use getting angry again. As long as she knows she is wrong and promises not to make mistakes again, people will make mistakes. Otherwise, the next time something goes wrong, she will hold it in her heart.

Fourth, understand the advantages of your daughter and teach her students in accordance with their aptitude.

Look at what your daughter likes at ordinary times and ask her what she likes. Give her a lesson or something if necessary, reduce her contact time with social youth, and make her feel that you respect and affirm her.

This is just a suggestion. You can enrich her time in other ways, but only if your daughter is willing to do it, or even if you do it, she won't accept it.

To sum up, if you force her to break diplomatic relations with that social youth, it may have the opposite effect. You should try all the above four points, which should be effective.

Because from my point of view, it is mainly the result of your daughter's association with social youth, or you don't understand, care about or be sure about her. You trust her brother and sister too much, but you don't know much about her.

The above is just my personal opinion. Please refer to. May your daughter change her mind.