Just the name of the crosstalk clip contained in 2.

It's just the cross talk name contained in 2. I am a hooligan.

(Degang Guo Liu Gang)

Just right 2

Lyrics: Geng Xiaoqiang

[Remarks: All crosstalk fragments in the lyrics are taken from Degang Guo \ Yu Qian's New Crosstalk].

[Excerpt from Crosstalk] Degang Guo: You, get down to business all day. You don't mix well all day. Look at the people who drive to buy a big building. Look at you. You have nothing. The ground under your feet is shaking, and the water around you is flowing.

Yu Qian: Your father's surname is Cui?

Degang Guo: Your father's name is bitch (laughter, um ...)

The man who became popular in 2006.

Some people predict that he is not popular enough.

From the beginning of the year to the end of the year, there is a fate with the lawsuit.

Still thriving, he is versatile and not overwhelmed.

(Guo) There is still bright moonlight in front of my bed, and I suspect there is frost on the ground. I always look up at the bright moon. My name is Degang Guo, too. People always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good things, but they always think ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We are too embarrassed.

Noisy in the entertainment circle

You must throw yourself at that girl.

There is no sign of right or wrong.

But the game is a walk-on

The entertainment circle is full of explosions.

Recite it today and report it tomorrow.

The old man is crying and the new man is laughing.

Earn or people's pockets.

Exactly right/fair

I'm not famous.

Exactly right/fair

I am very timid

[Degang Guo Crosstalk Fragment] Three religions and nine streams are from all walks of life, and his works are meaningful to the society. Even drivers who drive cars and deliver vegetables are drivers. Whoa, whoa, whoa ... I look envious. I want to praise him. Who is my son? Oh, oh, my God, it brings happiness to people. (Who brings happiness to whom) At least I am much happier. Who is my grandson? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Drink it! (This is not a long memory. Who is the tortoise? What did he say? ) He came with a whip. That's a slap in the face. ) He has an unfriendly side.

(Guo) Jay Chou and Yu-Ching Fei.

"I'm sorry about Meng Guangmei" attracted many netizens.

(Guo) secretly patted Gillian's heart.

Yu zhang, she is famous for sleeping.

Peng Fei gave birth to a little girl.

Cecilia Cheung is pregnant, too.

(Guo) Stone is crazy.

I went to Fan Bingbing for plastic surgery.

Exactly right/fair

I'm not pregnant.

Exactly right/fair

I am original.

Degang Guo: When things happen, don't always look up, you must look down.

Liu Gang: How to look down?

Degang Guo: For example, if you lose money in business, someone will jump off a building. You are happier than him.

Liu Gang: Yes.

Degang Guo: You have a daughter here and you hate her. What about those who have no children?

Liu Gang: Yes.

Degang Guo: You lost your job there, and others lost their virginity.

Liu Gang: This is not comparable.

Degang Guo: Look, your daughter-in-law doesn't want you, and he doesn't want me. (Laughter, alas ...)

Artists lit mandarin ducks at will.

Diamond Li Beibei went to Li Xiang.

(Guo said) The World Cup called dumb Huang Jianxiang.

If you want to draft, you'd better learn from Shi Yang.

Xiandi presides over the Central Committee.

Zude wants to change sex and wear women's clothes.

(Guo said) The old lady killed Zhao Zhongxiang.

Privacy is completely exposed by blogs.

Exactly right/fair

I'm not talking nonsense.

Exactly right/fair

I'm still normal

[Degang Guo Crosstalk Snippet] I got up at four o'clock in the morning and went out to practice lightness skill. As soon as I came out, the police came. Hey, call me. I haven't lost anything. Hey, morning exercises are not allowed, Xu! Go back and put on your pants ... (laughs) (nothing comes out naked), it's getting more and more fierce. (Laughter)

Why on earth are we a little bored?

How can a star become immortal?

Go to the west.

Can you still have a face?

Exactly right/fair

I'm not crazy.

(Guo) Just right.

(Guo) I have Yu Qian.

Just right (together)

The Spring Festival is coming soon.

(Guo) Hey, what are you doing? You, the guy who caught the plane ... ..

Yun-peng Yue's two cross talk topics are "So Rich Second Generation"

I can't stand it.

The names of famous cross talk jokes and the facial features of actors

The comic dialogue "The Five Senses Strive for Merit" was created by Ma Ji and performed with Wei Liu, Feng Gong, Zhao Yan and Wang Jinbao at the CCTV Spring Festival Gala on 1987.

Marry love or bread, everything is just right. Although love is beautiful, it is only temporary like fog, rain and wind, but bread is what you live on all your life.

The name and lines of Degang Guo's new cross talk ~ ~ Cross talk "Old Friends"

Alias: free to eat, free to eat monkeys.

B We talk about cross talk and learn everything.

A Yes, everything has to be studied.

B needs to know everything.

A: Needless to say, even this social sentiment should be known.

Oh! You have to understand the social situation.

A of course! In the past, most people said, "It depends on your eyes to make friends!"

B why?

A can see which passers-by can't pay!

Can you still see the difference?

You can tell at a glance.

B I think anyone can pay.

If a doesn't.

B what?

There are so many kinds of people that you can't make friends.

What do you do?

A can't say what he does.

B what?

I told you there was such a person.

B what kind of person?

As soon as you squeeze in by tram, such people can't pay!

B I object to this sentence, people who squeeze in by tram can't afford to pay; According to you, there is no one in the tram! Everyone is standing behind the door. Who will be responsible if there is danger?

Answer! Now that you mention it.

b！ Still!

A: But it's not the same as squeezing in.

B why is it different?

For example, there are four people going to play together. Big Brother: "Hey! Brother, is there anything wrong? "

B "no wow!"

Say "Wow!"

B "Where to?"

A "Come on, let's go to the city to play together."

B "Let's go!"

A "tram ride?"

B "ok."

A sentence "Come on! You are all standing behind me. "

Why is bilibili behind him?

He stood in his head. Four people take the tram, and the one standing at the head won't buy a ticket.

B I don't believe it.

Hey, you don't believe me, you think about this every day!

B how to ponder?

A How many people are in the tram now?

B there are many people!

It doesn't matter if there are many people. It's okay to practice kung fu at home.

B practice what?

A is good at squeezing.

B can squeeze!

No matter how many people are on the tram, he gets on as soon as it is crowded. Isn't this tram three doors? He stood in the middle.

Why is bilibili in the middle?

A: Isn't this door wide and nice?

b！

A "You all stand up and stand behind me." The tram came, and as soon as it started, he got on before the people finished getting off. Squeeze in: "Sorry! Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! "

Where is b?

A: He stayed indoors.

B, what about those people?

Where did these guys practice kung fu?

B no wow!

A stands here and sells tickets. He telephoned the conductor as soon as the tram started.

What's B's name?

A "ticket scalper!"

B what?

"Hey, come here! For the four of us, I'll buy four tickets! "

b！ He really talked outside and wanted to buy four tickets.

No, he wants to buy four tickets.

What does b mean?

He told the people at the door.

b？

A: Think about it. There are many people. He is far from the door. Can the conductor squeeze through? Yes, but he shouted. As soon as he shouts, the people at the door have to pay.

Oh! This move is really amazing!

These guys have change in their pockets. Can he buy it?

B can't

"Come on, eldest brother, what are you shouting? Why did you buy four cents? I bought it! "

B yi!

A walked around him for free, leaving a good man behind.

Oh! He always takes advantage.

Alau takes advantage.

b！

He has bad luck, too!

When will he be unlucky?

A it's bad luck to squeeze hard for a while.

B too crowded?

Once he squeezed through this matter, "excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! " Oh, wow!

Where did he go?

He squeezed into the back door.

Oh! That road.

There are also ticket sellers over there.

B yes!

The conductor stood behind him, but he didn't see it. As soon as the tram started, he shouted to the conductor, "conductor!" " "

B yes!

The one behind A said, "How many?"

B yo! Yo yo yo yo. ...

Say "huh?"

B what's wrong?

He turned back and asked, "Why?" "Didn't you buy a ticket?"

B yes!

A "buy a ticket!"

b！

Answer: "I came in through that door."

b！

A "hmm! This door sells the same! "

B: That's right!

A "How much do you buy?" "What do you do?" "I sell tickets!" You sell tickets? Do you have any evidence? "

Oh, great!

A forty cents is full of nonsense.

B it's too crowded. it's bullshit.

A: What kind of person is this?

You can't make friends like this, and you like to play tricks.

There is another kind of person who can't afford it.

B what kind of person?

A go to the restaurant and rinse your mouth after dinner.

What happened to us?

A can't afford it.

B I have a problem with your statement.

A what's wrong?

B talk about hygiene, how to eat without gargling!

Gargling is not the same as gargling.

B why is it different?

Do you know when to gargle?

B when?

Several people were sitting in the restaurant, and all the food had been eaten.

B yes!

Cough. His mouthwash is different.

B why is it different?

Others rinse their mouths after eating.

B yes.

A He didn't. He drank soup, which is the restaurant's rule. Finally, he sent a bowl of clear soup.

B: A bowl of clear soup.

Jiata, you can't stop eating soup.

B yi! I like soup!

That's not true. He's stalling!

B what?

A won't pay.

B hey! That's brilliant.

He drank the last bowl of soup for nothing (pretending to drink soup): "Hmm!" " This soup is good! "

Oh! That's a compliment.

Answer: "There are many flavors. How much is this soup? "

b！

A waiter came up and said, "This soup is free." "Ah, don't money. Don't pay for such a good drink? "

No money.

"Come back tomorrow with this soup!"

B, come to dinner?

Guang Jia, have soup!

b？

A Oh, that costs money!

What a fresh B!

A: Is anyone thirsty for soup in the restaurant?

B people are not allowed to drink either!

A look at the time, these people wash their faces and mouths: "Let's settle accounts!" "

Account B.

One family has already checked out, and the waiter brought the invoice: "How many of you ate 9.3 yuan?"

B it's really not much.

A: $9.30. That's all. All these people are paying for it.

B is rushing to give it.

He doesn't pay.

What is he doing?

Jia ta Han Shu

Is he gargling now?

A gargle neither early nor late, just wait for this juncture to gargle.

Oh!

A family paid for it, so he copied mouthwash.

What's the matter?

(gargle) "hmm! ……"

B gargle?

Gargle.

B yes!

A family pays money there, and he gestures with others.

How to do it?

A "hmm ... hmm (expressing hesitation, etc.) ... hmm ..." (gesturing with hands)

What's going on here?

What are you talking about?

B yo! What does this mean?

A said, "Don't give us this meal, don't give it to you, don't give it to me ..."

Oh, he did.

A he won't give it either!

So who gave the money to where?

If you don't give an A, wait at the counter!

Do you know him in cabinet B?

A: These guys have given up their money. They gave 10 dollars. "Less!" "A lot, thank you. Seven-corner cabinet! " "Thank you-"

B shouted and left.

He also vomited his mouthwash.

Oh!

A (spitting water) "Why did you give it again?"

B why did you give it again?

A can't give it any more. He gargled there after dinner, but they still didn't give it to him!

B: That's right!

Oh! Learn from him after dinner.

B no payment.

A doesn't pay at all? Everyone stood there gargling, and all four of them stood there after eating (learning to gargle). "Gee ..." The waiter looked: What is this?

What's the matter?

A: This is practicing Kung Fu, so what?

B practice this kung fu?

Is this nice?

B not watching!

After the family gave money, he still cared!

B what's wrong?

A: He also asked others!

How do you ask?

Say "Brother!"

b？

A "Who gave the money?" This one says, "I gave it."

B: That's right!

"You are not right!"

Hmm?

Hearing this, the person who gave money from A said, Why am I so unlucky?

B is right!

A: "I have given up money. Why am I still wrong? " "Do you think the money you gave you is right? I should have given this ten yuan, so why did you give it again? You said, do you recognize the punishment? "

b？

Do you think this guest is unlucky?

B what bad luck!

A: "Big Brother! What do I think? " "Admit it, I'll hit you!" "Where did I admit the punishment?" "I'll punish you here again at night!"

B: Good!

A eat and punish others!

Two meals inside and outside.

What do you call this?

B: That's clever.

A: Good! First gargle, ok!

B ok!

Rinse your mouth for the second time, not bad!

B fooled over!

the third time ...

b？

No one understands.

Nobody is stupid.

A: I won't look for him at the next meal.

Oh! Avoid him.

Guess what?

b？

Aren't you looking for him?

B yes!

He will find you.

B where can he find it?

He knows where these people often go.

B how is he?

A: He got up early and waited in the alley.

B, white, etc.

Those guys are out today. When everyone saw it, he was gone. This guy said, "Without him, it's my treat today." "Ok, let's go!"

Come on, without him this time.

As soon as Jia entered the alley, he came out and said, "Where are you going?"

What about b?

"We're all right! Let's go to the movies! " "Eat a movie? Does it make sense? I know you went to eat. You didn't even pay for three meals, so you avoided me You won't really make friends. Come with me today, it's my treat. If I don't treat you, I'm an asshole. If you don't bother me, just call me eight generations of ancestors! "

Wow! Sincerely treat, let's go!

Let's go! Whoever goes is unlucky. How thoughtful of him! He will take whichever restaurant is bigger. As soon as he entered the door, the man came to entertain him: "Please go upstairs!" "upstairs number two!" As soon as these guys sat there, he ordered first. Tell the man, "Give him ten dishes for three or four dollars; Wine, liquor, beer, brandy! Serve the dishes together! Let's go "

Wow! This meal can satisfy a person's desire and make a big meal!

Two people in A are really happy: "This meal is not bad!" One was afraid and said to himself, "Is he rich? Let's talk about it after eating! "

B: Let's talk about it after eating.

A He doesn't drink or eat every day, but he even eats and drinks today! I poured three glasses of brandy into my stomach and looked at his appearance. His head turned green, his "saliva" flowed down and his tongue became short. I didn't recognize myself when I looked in the mirror.

What's the matter?

A what's wrong? When drinking, he was not in tune. He said, "I'll tell you! I even ate your three meals, and you still avoid me. Making friends makes me sad! No money to eat! Ask around, am I that kind of person? "

B him?

He is that kind of person. "I tell you, this meal is my treat today. I'm afraid you'll pay. I saved two thousand dollars as soon as I entered the door! "

Wow!

A: As soon as this man heard that he had deposited 2,000 yuan, he quickly called the waiter: "Did our man deposit 2,000 yuan in your locker?" The waiter said, "I don't know, I'll ask!" " "Deng Deng Deng ran downstairs and asked Mr. Cabinet Room," Did those four upstairs save two thousand dollars here? " The gentleman said, "huh? I don't know! I tell you, don't fool around at work! " "The guest asked!" "Come on! I'll check the accounts. "I took the books to turn over eight times.

B and you?

A he didn't save it at all. Where can he get it? The gentleman said, "Go upstairs and ask, maybe you remember wrong?" The waiter went upstairs and said, "Which one of you saved two thousand dollars?" At this time, he stood up and staggered: "I saved two thousand dollars with you!" " "The waiter said," Do you remember wrong? " "no! What could be wrong with that! I don't have these two thousand dollars? " "Who did you give it to?" "I'll leave it to you!" The waiter was shocked: "Hey! How long did you give it to me? " Then he stepped forward and bang! Just give someone a big mouth.

B is playing!

A missed this slap, and others will never find him again!

Where is b?

A got under the table!

B slipped the table!

A these guys look bad.

B that's a good idea!

A was so angry that the men stopped eating and drinking. "Yes, I know you! If you don't believe me, look in his pocket, there won't be a penny! " He really has a way! "I'll pay for it!" Dude, I'll settle the bill: 48.50 yuan.

Why are there so many B?

A light dish costs forty dollars! "Come on, I'll go out next time, I'm his grandson! You two take him down! Dude, find a tricycle! "

B why do you want to rent a car?

A takes his father home. You two put him down, and he is still dishonest: "Don't worry about me, I won't finish with him, and I will seal the door for him tomorrow!" " "

Wow! He is so powerful!

A: Go to the door and order a tricycle. The tricycle driver asked, "Where to?" "XX Hutong, XX. How much is it? " "Give me forty cents!" "I'll give you a piece." "Why give a piece?" "Give you more hexagonal. Our people are drunk. Be careful on the road, don't drop him. Give you a piece! " Show him this time! "Don't worry, I'm not finished with him." "Don't stop! Get in the car! Go away! "

B ok, let's go this time.

He's in the car. He came straight back. It's not over yet!

B it's not over yet

A it's not endless, it's to see if those people turn around.

B where should I turn?

A can't see those guys. He is very happy. His joy doesn't matter. He startled the tricycle rider.

B what?

Tricycle rider. I don't know. He suddenly smiled in the car and scared the tricycle rider: "Hey! What's wrong with you? " "Stop!" "Aren't you going home?" "ah! I'm going home? My home is in Yunnan, please take me to Yunnan! " "That won't do!" Then he got off the bus and said, "How much is it for you?" "Give me a piece." "ouch! You want to rebel! Do you want a piece from there to here? " "What shall we do?" "Give me the lead singer! Take two cents! "

Wow! You become octagonal here!

Jia zu didn't pay for a meal, but he also turned eighty cents! What friend did you say this was? Can this person pay?

B can't afford it!

Scared those guys out of the door!

B he doesn't know this time.

A he still has ideas! He also went home to find you.

B oh 1

He knows where these families live.

B I know.

A Oh, he won't come in until your door.

What's the matter?

He looked at the chimney first.

See that chimney?

A chimney is smoking, smoking. He's not going in there.

What's the matter?

Cooking in armor!

He waited for a while. He went in as soon as white smoke came out of the chimney.

What's the matter?

A bite of rice is ready!

B hey! He really has research!

A looked at the door, and the chimney was smoking black smoke. He went to play!

B went to play 1

A turned three times, and when he came back, he saw that the chimney was emitting white smoke, the rice was ready, and the vegetables were fried. He just picked up chopsticks to prepare for dinner, but he pushed the door and went in.

B is in!

"Aha! What a coincidence! "

Joey?

Can A be unlucky?

B what?

He has been standing at the door for four hours.

Ouch! He has been waiting all morning!

Nothing can stop people from eating here.

B stands for everyone.

"Big Brother is here, let's eat together!" "Hey, you're welcome." Have a meal. Like that, don't go next time; Next time I go, people will make a false concession, not a real concession.

B What do you mean, really!

A This one looks like: "Ouch! Big brother's here! Is there something to eat on the kang? " "No, no! I don't eat! " "What are you doing?" "No, no, I missed it!" "ah! What are you doing? Come on! Sit here and eat! " It's called Jean Jean.

Oh! It really makes you.

The next day, people gave up.

Oh, excuse me?

I can tell that this is false.

B you learn!

As soon as he entered the door, this one spoke: "Big Brother is here! Ha ha! Have you eaten? "

B: Hey! This is bad, so far!

Look at this. Thanks! "Have you eaten?" No matter how clever and sudden you are, you can't answer this sentence!

B nothing to say!

A ok! This answer is very appropriate.

What did b say?

A loud "ah! Brother, have you eaten? " "ah! I'm not busy! "

Oh, he's not busy!

Hey, he's not busy!

He means ...

That means I'll eat later!

Oh!

He left. This one pondered: "Ouch!"

Hold your breath!

A "That's interesting!"

Where is b talking about?

A "Let him eat me, too, and see if he will come tomorrow?"

B can't come!

The third day. Oh, my God.

b？

A went again!

B went again!

At this time, A went there and pulled a door: "Oh, what a coincidence!" "

Joey!

One, this ...

B word?

A ignored him.

B ignore him?

This is a little damaged, too.

B what?

A is holding a job and looking at him with chopsticks.

Is he happy?

A loud "ha! Ha ha! Hahaha! ……"

Is this fun?

A this! This is worse than swearing!

Ouch! That doesn't sound good.

A ignored him.

b！

Did you ignore him?

B yes.

He will talk to you.

How did he do it?

A stood there and gave you a bite!

What did b say?

Say "Brother!"

b？

"What are you happy about? Ha ha! This rice is quite white! How much did you spend? " The man was confused: "12 cents!" "

B 12 cents?

A "stop it!"

b？

Answer: "I bought 16 yesterday, and it's not as white as this." Most of it is this kind of rice, right? ""nonsense! Buy rice and clothes? Not embarrassed? " "no! Not covering your mouth? Hey! " "If you don't believe me, try it! "

b？

A: Give it a try! Ok, pick up a bowl to eat (including rice): "OK, stop talking ..."

B Why does it smell like this?

A, I haven't swallowed that rice in my mouth yet!

Oh! It's still there!

"Well, this rice is not covered. It's not embarrassing, it's embarrassing. " "What's the matter?" "It's too light!" "Aren't you tired of just eating?" "More children's food!"

What about b?

Another meal.

B: Good!

A taught him another lesson.

B is really smart.

A: He's really great. I'm angry about this. The heart said, Let's see if he will come tomorrow!

B can't come!

I'll let him eat when I come back tomorrow, even if I agree with him for a lifetime.

B: Yes!

One like that, don't go there again!

B don't go.

A went again!