Name of research group: Senior One (10) Team leader: Xu;
Xu, Tang Jiangting, Guan, Fu Qian, Ren Xiaoyao, Zhao Tingyue. Instructor: Huang Shitang, a middle school student, we spend less time with our parents and more time with our classmates and friends. Friends are the closest people in our lives, and they have a great influence on us. However, our middle school students' outlook on life is still not perfect. If we don't pay attention to making friends, it will have a great negative impact on us. Some students have delayed their studies because they staggered their friends, and even embarked on the road of illegal crimes. However, some students often have conflicts with their friends, which has become a reason that bothers them.
The ancients said that it is enough to have a bosom friend in life. What is a bosom friend? That is, bosom friends. You have to make many friends in life. A person can have many friends, but not many intimate friends, so some people think that friends are easy to get, but intimate friends are hard to find. When we encounter setbacks and dangers, we especially need the help and support of friends, and this time can best reflect who is a true friend, so we should make a choice when making friends. So, which friends should we choose to associate with and develop deep friendship? What principles should be followed in making friends?
Confucius said in The Analects: The winner has three friends, and the loser has three friends. Friends are straightforward, friends forgive, friends listen more and benefit; Friends make friends, friendly and soft, and friends will be destroyed and damaged. Confucius taught his students to make good friends, not bad friends, from which we can get inspiration.
First of all, the beneficiaries are three friends
There are three kinds of friends in the world who help themselves, that is, the so-called three friends who benefit: straightforward friends, forgiving friends and listening friends.
The first kind, friendship is straight, which means integrity. This kind of friend is sincere, open-minded, upright and upright, and has a bright personality without a trace of flattery. His character can influence your character, give you courage when you are timid, and give you determination when you are hesitant, so this is a good friend.
The second kind in Shuo Wen Jie Zi, Friendship and Forgiveness: Forgiveness and Belief. Faith is honesty, and such friends are sincere and not hypocritical. It is appropriate and safe to associate with such friends, and our spirit can be purified and sublimated.
There are four kinds of friends: friend phobia, close friend, intimate friend and thief friend. The priorities of close friends can be * * *, and life and death can be entrusted; Friends play with friends and talk freely; A thief friend is busy, but a patient leaves. But human nature is multiple and will change with the changes of environment and experience. Of course, friends will change with these changes. Some people divide friends into three categories: short-term friends, long-term friends and eternal friends: (1) short-term friends. The friendship established between the two sides has not been consolidated, and it has been weaker than communication since then. There are various reasons. Some are because one party loses interest in the other, or both parties lose interest; Some have lost the basis of communication because of the change of time-space relationship; Of course, there may be other reasons. As long as the two sides don't hurt each other, even a short friendship is beneficial to life, and some may remember it for a lifetime. (2) Long-term friends are developed from short-term friends. The mutual affection and compatibility between the two sides have consolidated and developed friendship and can last for a long time. But friendship is not an inexhaustible spring, but like a deposit in a bank, it needs constant savings to be withdrawn for a long time. Long-term friendship needs long-term care. ③ forever friends. Forever friends regards friendship as a duty and obligation. When you succeed, the intersection between you and him is like light water; Once you are in trouble, you don't need your call, he will appear by your side. He won't leave you because he has done a lot for you. This kind of friend can be met but not sought. As the ancients said, it is enough to have a bosom friend in life.
Generally speaking, students' friends are friends with the same thoughts, aspirations and hobbies. Most of these friends are short-term friends, and of course they are not exclusive friends who talk about everything, but friends who are widely reserved. In this case, we need to constantly update our friends and contacts with the changes of the environment and the groups we belong to, so as to obtain information, expand our knowledge, increase our talents and enrich our social and life experience. This renewal will certainly focus on the center and needs of life. Nowadays, the competition among high school students is fierce, and they all focus on learning. The purpose of making friends in this period is undoubtedly to find partners and comrades on the way forward. Therefore, it is very important to choose friends and make friends.
1, choose a friend. The ancients said, those who are near Zhu Zhechi are black. This tells us to make friends who are like-minded, sincere, honest, idealistic and ambitious. Making such friends often gets along well. Let's promote each other and complement each other on the basis of learning and being a man. When choosing friends, we should pay attention to the following aspects: (1) Friends should be multi-level and all-round. In other words, we should make a variety of friends to meet the needs of all parties. For example: friends who can tell their mistakes and criticize them; A mentor who can guide himself in the maze and let himself take fewer detours; Friends of the opposite sex who can help each other in study, comfort each other emotionally and complement each other in character; A friend who can lend a helping hand in times of crisis; Entertainment friends who can engage in interesting entertainment and sports activities with themselves. So as to create good external conditions for their own development and personality improvement. Among many friends, we should pay special attention to students who can help and encourage each other in their studies. (2) Grasp the criteria for choosing friends. If you have the same aspirations, interests and lofty moral character, you can be soul mates, treat each other sincerely, be honest and reliable, be honest and knowledgeable, and be better than yourself in some way. Regarding the criteria for making friends, most high school students think that same-sex friends only need the same interests and hobbies. So do friends of the opposite sex. They think each other should be generous and considerate. Although junior high school students also think that they have similar interests, they don't value each other's temperament as much as senior high school students. This shows that senior high school students are more rational and objective than junior high school students. Because the most important thing for a person is character. Of course, like-minded people are also important. But if a person has a bad personality, it is useless to have the same hobbies as him. So I hope that students can pay attention to this aspect when making friends in the future. In addition, because there are few ideal people who have several conditions at the same time in real life, it is not suitable for people who pursue perfection, otherwise it is difficult to make friends. For some people with different personalities, interests and shortcomings, you can also get in touch with them properly, which will not only deepen your understanding of all kinds of people, but also cultivate your ability to deal with all kinds of people, and make up for some of your shortcomings and find friends you can make. In short, the criteria for making friends should be flexible. (3) Understand each other correctly and deeply. To establish a certain type of friendship with others, we must have a comprehensive and in-depth understanding. Only by direct contact, inquiring from the side, observing their past history and their consistent attitude towards life can we get a real understanding. In particular, we should pay attention to observing and understanding each other's real performance behind their backs, and grasp each other's real motives, so as to avoid misunderstanding others or being deceived. (4) Be active, not passive. Making friends requires two-way communication and mutual communication. To make friends, you should have some initiative. You can use your spare time, especially holidays, to chat with your classmates, exchange information, thoughts and feelings, and get to know and trust each other. (5) Cherish friendship and develop feelings. Some people make friends like dragonflies, or blind people break corn, but they can't go deep into it, content with casual acquaintances, or change their minds and like the new and hate the old; Ignore the feelings of friends and be self-centered; Some are pragmatic, friends when needed, passers-by when not needed, and enemies when there are some contradictions. At any time, we should be kind to others and cherish friendship. We need to understand that it is better to have many good friends than to have a lot of wealth.
2. Friends get along. A true friend should be intimate, caring and caring. To maintain a good relationship between friends, we should start from the following aspects. (1) Kindness and enthusiasm, knowing how to share other people's sufferings and joys, paying more attention to what others say and listening more will help us to understand others, understand others, communicate with others, be compassionate and be willing to help others. This kind of person is willing to associate with others. (2) cultivate a wide range of interests and enhance self-confidence. Friendship is based on common interests. A person who can't sing and dance, doesn't like painting and doesn't like activities won't have friends. Try to cultivate your extensive interests and establish friendship with your classmates in various activities. (3) trust friends. The ancients lived in Yun Xin, and people were loyal to it. Therefore, in order to gain the trust of friends, we must first trust friends, and truly treat each other with sincerity is the foundation of getting along with friends. (4) Know how to keep secrets. Keeping a secret is not an act of distrust of friends. According to the questionnaire survey, 60% students talk about everything with their friends, involving all aspects. It is easy to reveal some important information about yourself, such as bank card password, passbook password, and even the secrets of parents' work units. This may provide convenience for criminals and cause losses to themselves and others. Therefore, we should keep a secret when talking with our friends. (5) Be generous. Confucius said that people are not sages, to err is human. There are no perfect people in this world, so we should tolerate the mistakes and shortcomings outside the principle of friendship, be strict with ourselves, be lenient with others, and discover the advantages of others, so that we can really get along with friends and make real good friends. (6) adversity and * * *. A friend of a friend is composed of two equal moon characters, which means sharing weal and woe (within the scope permitted by law). In other words, friendship between friends is not maintained by sweet words, and true friendship can stand the test of time and environment. (7) Learn from each other. Because everyone has a bright spot and something better than himself. For example, some people are well-informed, quick-thinking and calm; Some people are sophisticated and decisive. This is worth learning by yourself. If you have friends, you should not only accept their warnings, but also help them. You can't protect your weaknesses, love each other sincerely and cherish friendship. A friend made in this way is a true friend. (8) Respect others and keep promises. To respect others is to respect their wishes and ideas. When you make a mistake, you should admit it immediately and apologize generously. Don't make excuses for your misconduct. This can avoid many unnecessary misunderstandings and troubles. Cherish other people's time, keep promises and be punctual, which is also a manifestation of respecting others and one of the qualities of modern middle school students. (9) Don't be too modest. Everyone has his own unique attitude, behavior and personality. When we get along with others, although we have to accommodate and be easy-going to others' needs, this does not mean giving up everything and losing ourselves. You should also have your own opinions in life, and don't just echo others' opinions. When you have different views with your friends, you can express your views without being divorced from reality and say no, I'm sorry. Even if you offend others by sticking to the right thing, you can be calm and don't sacrifice yourself to please others. (10) Correctly treat and handle the communication between the opposite sex. The communication between boys and girls is conducive to mutual understanding, learning from each other's strengths and creating a warm atmosphere. At the same time, you can also exercise your ability to communicate with the opposite sex. But communication should also have a scale, respect each other, and pay attention to the way, occasion and frequency of communication. Don't think that the communication between the opposite sex will waste time or be puppy love. (1 1) Be sincere, heartless, sincere and frank with your friends. In other words, we should tell the truth, talk about life, talk about the future, talk about the future, and talk about joy and pain, so that communication can enhance mutual understanding, friendship and progress. Making friends in middle school is one of the best ways to cultivate social cooperation. In making friends, we learned how to talk, how to understand other people's feelings and feelings, how to adjust and control our emotions to maintain and maintain friendship, how to discuss, how to wait and endure, how to make concessions and compromises, how to be loyal and trustworthy, how to tolerate and trust, how to persuade and suggest, how to listen and accept, and how to persist and refuse. These are the skills and attitudes necessary to deal with various social relations of human beings.
It can be seen that if we want our friends to be a flower on our road, we must know how to choose friends and how to get along with them. This requires us to grasp the criteria of making friends, get to know each other better, cultivate a wide range of interests, respect the trustworthiness of others and so on. In this way, the friends we make will be people who lend you a helping hand when you are in trouble; People who share with you when you are happy; Someone who comforts you when you are sad. Sometimes, just a gesture and a simple sentence can convey infinite warmth. In this way, friends will become our boosters, and our lives will be rich and colorful because of friends.