A drop of water can't be a sea, and a tree can't be a forest. As we have just entered the society, it is very important to lay a good foundation of contacts. Society is a circle of contacts. As the saying goes, there are many friends, and everyone is eager for development, help from others, promotion from organizations and a happy life. Why is it counterproductive? The reason is that I don't understand the importance of friends and interpersonal relationships. Therefore, how to get development, help from others, promotion and a happy life is a difficult problem for young people. To overcome this problem, we must attach importance to the world and interpersonal relationships. According to statistics, good interpersonal relationships can make the success rate of work and personal happiness reach more than 85%; Among the factors that make a person successful, 85% depends on interpersonal relationship, while knowledge, technology and experience only account for 15%. Of the 4000 people who were dismissed from a certain place, 90% were found to have bad interpersonal relationships, and 10% were found to be incompetent. The average annual salary of college graduates who handle interpersonal relationships is higher than that of top students 15% and higher than that of ordinary students (33%). Without good interpersonal relationships, human feelings will be indifferent, and without good interpersonal relationships, foreign aid will be lost. Without foreign aid, people will have a lot of helplessness, will be isolated, will get into trouble, and will make life meaningless, let alone happiness. Because people and society, people and organizations, and people are interdependent, interactive and influential. Only when people are with others can they survive, develop, progress, be happy and be happy. Without the help of society, organizations, families or others, a person will accomplish nothing in his life. Interpersonal relationship is a big system. Today we will talk about the important core of interpersonal relationship, friends.

Friends play an indispensable role in our life. How to make friends is also one of the important skills to learn in our life. Personally, I think that making friends has an important feature, that is, heart. As the saying goes, reading can make friends with Guang Zhi, and forgiveness can make friends. If you look closely, you will find that no matter who has his own friends and circle of friends, a successful person will involve multiple circle of friends. Why do A and B become friends, B and C become friends, but A and C often can't be friends? In fact, the reason is simple: A and B, B and C communicate with their hearts, and A and C don't communicate with their hearts, so they can't be friends.

Some people may disagree with me and even say, for example, I can only be so kind to a person, but she is ungrateful and unwilling to be friends with me. what can I do? This kind of thinking is actually stealing the concept and translating my intention into "I am good to her", thinking that as long as I am good to her, it is equal to "intention". Actually, it is not.

"Intention" and "being kind to her" are two different concepts. Most of the results of "intentions" will be exchanged for each other's "intentions" for themselves, and the two naturally become friends. The result of "being good to her" will probably get the impression that "she is good to me", but it may not get the desire to associate with her. This phenomenon is something we should seriously reflect on when making friends.

The ancients said: "Filial piety is the first, the original heart is not the original trace, and the original poor family has no filial son; All evils first, regardless of heart, there is no perfect person in the world. "In other words, filial piety mainly depends on whether there is filial piety, not how many things have been done. Whether filial piety is measured by how many things have been done. Then, poor families will have no dutiful sons; And evil deeds mainly depend on what you do, not what you think. If you judge whether you are a good person or not according to your own thoughts, there will be no perfect person in the world. There are two explanations for "lewdness" in couplets, one is promiscuity between men and women, and the other is excessive behavior. Let's analyze it with the first explanation. The relationship between men and women is not what you think, but how you do it. If a person is judged by what he thinks, then I guess no one is pure and clean.

This pair of couplets used by the ancients to judge good and evil can be used to make friends. When dealing with friends, what matters is not what you do for each other, but whether you are attentive when dealing with each other. Of course, when a friend needs help, it is not only necessary but also necessary for you to lend a helping hand. However, it needs certain conditions to support a helping hand, but it doesn't need external conditions to treat friends with heart. Even if you have no money, you can still associate with friends with your heart.

What should I do to communicate with my heart? Is there a secret to follow? This question is a matter of opinion, and there is not necessarily a unified standard answer. My answer is that the secret of intentional communication is four words: sincerity and listening.

Sincerity is the cornerstone of making friends. With this cornerstone, friendship will have a solid foundation. And hypocrisy is the moth of friendship, which will sooner or later hollow out the friendship established between the two sides. Sincerity can stand the test of time, and the longer the time, the more precious it is; Hypocrisy may deceive for a while, but time will expose hypocrisy.

Listening is the best nutrition of friendship. Only when friends listen sincerely can the tree of friendship grow sturdily. Many times, what we need from our friends is not comfort, praise and encouragement, but listening. Because of comfort, praise and encouragement, many people can do it, but only true friends can listen attentively, share your happiness and pain. Friends can make friends widely, but not promiscuously.

Studying alone without friends is ignorance. Adolescence or adolescence is the time to make friends, which is the natural law of the four seasons of life, regardless of people's will. Almost every young friend has made friends. As time goes on, some friends gradually leave us, so there is no need to blame themselves or lose heart. In the vast sea of people, everyone is very busy, ignoring greetings and even alienating themselves. This is normal. It is understandable and inevitable that friends "shuttle through the traffic" and neglect to communicate with each other. But what we need to reflect on is another situation: why do some friends alienate quickly? Why do some friends disappear without a trace overnight? There are some friends, you are obviously good to him, but you have aroused his disgust. Why?

Answering these questions involves some principles of making friends. According to my experience, the main principles of making friends are as follows:

First, friends are friends. Can't ask too much.

Teenagers often have a misunderstanding when making friends, thinking that we are already good friends and that the other party should be like what they are. Actually, it's not like this. Between friends, there is only "I do" and no "he should". For example, if you are in financial difficulties, your first thought is to ask relatives and friends for help. Relatives reject you, and you will feel that your family is very cold; When a friend refuses you, you will feel that friendship is hypocritical. I can assert that many people have experienced such indifference and hypocrisy. Is it true that relatives are indifferent and friends are hypocritical? I think there should be a question mark.

It is understandable that friends help each other, but those who can only help each other are by no means real friends, but at most they are friends in the general sense, even fair-weather friends. As the name implies, fair-weather friends are based on fair-weather friends. Once you have no fair-weather friends, you have no friends. A true friend can live without wine and meat, but not without sincerity. Those who judge whether their friends are true or not by whether they can help are not enough friends from the beginning.

Money and friends often form a pair of contradictions. It's like someone teasing: talking about feelings hurts money, and talking about money hurts feelings.

Russian writer krylov once said, "When you are in trouble, call your friends and you will get all kinds of good advice. However, when it comes to practical assistance, your best friend will also play dumb. "

American writer Mark Twain also said something similar. He said: "Holy friendship is so sweet, loyal, stable and long-lasting, it can accompany a person's life-if you don't want money."

It really hurts our feelings to read these remarks by celebrities. But we have to admit that in the face of money, the relationship between friends often appears very fragile.

Ancient literati once summed up four things in life: "After a long drought, people meet in other places;" Wedding night, for the first time. "This means that these four situations are the proudest moments in life. However, some scholars later sneered at this: "After a long drought, it is always raining-never stopping, and borrowing money from old friends in other places; Wedding night-don't lift, be the first-others. "Think about it too. When you are standing on the streets of Vancouver without friends, you suddenly meet an old friend who has been with you for many years. You are overjoyed. Shake his hand. The other party suddenly said, "Big Brother, do you have money? Lend me 10 thousand Canadian dollars! "Money once again triumphed over friendship.

This is how I deal with money and friendship: when I encounter difficulties, I will mention them to my friends, but I never ask for money except my best friend. Generally, there are four results: if you really have feelings and money, you will offer to help you; If you really have feelings and no money, I'll help you find a way; Those who are really rich but have no feelings will leave you with sympathy and greetings; No feelings, no money, just say him. Unexpectedly, when we really encounter difficulties, it is often the person who has a bad relationship with us who can help us. It is also worth noting that the best way to destroy friendship is to borrow money and not pay it back.

Second, make friends sincerely, without expecting anything in return.

Let's tell an animal story. One night, a sheep was playing alone on the hillside.

Suddenly, a wolf jumped out of the tree and tried to eat the sheep. The sheep jumped up, desperately resisted with its horns and shouted for help from its friends.

At this time, the cow heard it in the bushes, looked at the place and found that it was a wolf and ran away;

The horse looked down and found that it was a wolf and ran away;

The donkey stopped and found that it was a wolf and slipped down the hillside quietly;

The pig passed by and found that it was a wolf and rushed down the hillside;

Hearing this, the rabbit left like an arrow.

The dog at the foot of the mountain heard the sheep barking, rushed up the hillside, flashed out of the grass and bit the wolf's neck.

The wolf screamed in pain, and the dog took a deep breath and ran away in fear.

When I got home, my friend came.

The cow said, why didn't you tell me? My horns can gut a wolf.

Ma said, why didn't you tell me? My hooves can kick a wolf in the head.

The donkey said, why didn't you tell me? I screamed and scared the wolf.

The pig said, why didn't you tell me? I arched my mouth and let it fall at the foot of the mountain.

Rabbit said: Why didn't you tell me? I can run fast. I can deliver letters.

There are no dogs in this noisy group.

The story tells us a truth: true friendship is not rhetoric, but holding your hand at a critical moment. As long as each of us regards helping others as our responsibility, society will form a habit. People you don't know need such a simple helping hand, let alone friends. If you help others, it will affect the other person to help others, and the interaction between people will benefit all mankind. You live on the earth, and of course you are also a beneficiary.

No matter what my friends ask for in return, I can basically conclude that they are by no means real friends.

Friends only talk about giving without expecting anything in return, and the return often comes unexpectedly.

I often tell myself that I hope all my friends are healthy, happy, happy, rich and prosperous. I don't think so, because I am too noble. From a selfish point of view, all my friends live in happiness, so I can avoid sadness and pain. My friends are all rich, at least they won't borrow money from me. In the final analysis, it is also beneficial to yourself. Third, no matter how good friends get along, there must be a boundary and a scale.

When friends are good enough, there is no difference between them. As the saying goes, "one of them is not as good as one." And I think, as good as a person, there are also dangers lurking. Everyone has his own independent spiritual world and doesn't want to be disturbed. Once someone breaks in, he will feel unhappy. Everyone has his own principles of being a man. Once someone insists on modifying or abandoning these principles, they will have the idea of exclusion. In order to maintain the friendship between the two sides, such "unpleasant feelings" and "repulsive thoughts" are generally reluctant to be revealed easily. If you don't die in silence, you will explode in silence. When it accumulates to a certain extent, it will be vented in some way. When I was a child, I often heard adults say "very good, very annoying." I didn't understand what this meant at that time. When I grow up, I know that once two very good people turn against each other, it is difficult to repair their friendship.

The Analects of Confucius said, "The shame of counting things. The number of friends is scarce. " It means to treat your superiors, even if it is correct advice, you should do your duty, and don't repeat it, otherwise it will only lead to bring disgrace to oneself. The same is true between friends. You can persuade your friend that he is wrong, but enough is enough. Otherwise it will lead to the alienation of friends.

In my opinion, no matter how good a friendship is, it should be as independent and interdependent as two trees.

With the growth of age, we will gradually find that there are very few friends who can really accompany us to the end, so we should know how to cherish them. The quality and quantity of friends are very important. Acquaintance is a kind of fate. When we communicate together, we should pay sincere attention. Even if you can't be an important friend in life, you won't be an enemy in life. Only by learning how to deal with interpersonal relationships can we go more smoothly.

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