During the National Day in 2005, a young girl committed suicide by jumping off a building in a residential area. Neighbors, relatives and friends are puzzled by this. Last romance, a time of brilliance, has not been cherished. Why commit suicide for no reason? In an instant, the whole community spread.
It is said that this girl graduated from college and has been working for more than a year. She works in a fashion magazine and is also a well-paid working girl. But her best friend said that she has been sighing and listless recently, and she can't lift her spirits in anything. She kept saying some extremely negative things, such as "The more I live, the more boring my life is, and life is really meaningless …".
But, why is she like this? I've never heard of her being lovelorn or fired, or anything that hit or frustrated her. So what caused her to commit suicide at a young age? It is psychological pessimism!
Reasons for world-weariness
Why did society provide so many opportunities for development and so many things a person could do during the period of reform and opening up? But why do many adults show a world-weary attitude of "boring life, no enthusiasm, no motivation and no interest", instead of a positive attitude of devoting themselves to life with full enthusiasm? This has to attract our attention.
Psychologists believe that there is no spiritual support in the first place. Speaking of it, this spiritual pillar is actually a belief, a value system and a life example recognized by the public in social life. Spiritual support can produce positive psychological hints and inspire people to keep forging ahead. However, people's life often can't develop completely according to their ideal trajectory, and some people's spiritual pillars will disappear, which may be replaced by a sense of loss.
Another point is that the reality is not satisfactory, such as unhealthy social atmosphere, the emergence of corruption, interpersonal relationships and intrigue. Many adults are out of balance. Therefore, many adults can't see the mainstream and tributaries of social development clearly in this seriously unbalanced state of mind, but instead regard their one-sidedness as he who sees through the world of mortals. Since then, they have adopted an extreme "detached attitude", treating things around them as "outsiders" and becoming a kind of psychological misanthrope.
The emergence of world-weariness is also related to the relatively monotonous lifestyle. As a young man, he is energetic, eager for knowledge and curious, so he is willing and easy to accept new things. In addition, he is healthy, agile, suitable and willing to carry out exciting activities. However, due to the increasingly fierce social competition, society, schools and parents are increasingly strict with adults, which leads some of them to be extremely tired of this monotonous lifestyle, and then doubt the meaning of this life and come to the conclusion that "life is really boring".
Overcome adaptation and world-weariness
To overcome the world-weariness psychology, we must first have a more realistic understanding of social existence. Society is made up of many organizations, groups and individuals. The trans-regional and trans-temporal nature of society determines that there are many sub-cultures. Faced with this new situation, adults need to change their concepts, improve their abilities in an all-round way, and adapt to this complex and changeable society with a brand-new attitude.
We must seek a broader vision and look at our life through the window of eternity. If personal life and personal existence are short-lived, but the continuation of life and human society are eternal, right? If you have this understanding; I think we can live a realistic life for ourselves and future generations with a clear conscience.
Man is a gregarious animal born to pursue goals, and coping with the challenges of life is his eternal goal. If there is no goal to pursue, no difficulty to overcome and no problem to solve in life, people will not find true satisfaction and happiness, and they will be prone to mental depression, mental degradation, emptiness and depression.
As a warm-blooded young generation, what should we pursue constantly. Many people think that the happy and optimistic psychological state is produced when the work is relaxed, the world is free, and it is comfortable and leisurely. In fact, emotional psychology research shows that most people feel bored and bored instead of happy when they are free. On the contrary, those who are busy at work, living in poverty and trying to change the status quo are often very happy.
Shu Shu, a junior, suffered from insomnia and neurasthenia not long ago, and his grades plummeted. It's really worrying that she will graduate from work soon.
But, why is she like this? It turned out that Shu Shu was suspicious by nature and became more serious after entering the university. Once, a classmate in the dormitory piled dusty books on her bed while sorting out books. She was very unhappy and said, "What's the matter with you? How can you put them on my dirty bed? " That classmate saw her unhappy and quickly said, "Ah? Sorry, I'll take it right away. "
Originally, this little thing was nothing, but after Shu Shu, I regretted it for fear of offending this classmate. Why should I do this to her? She will blame me and won't be so kind to me in the future. So I found an opportunity to apologize to others, which made this classmate puzzled.
If her classmates are talking happily in the classroom or dormitory and don't notice her arrival, she will think, "Why are they ignoring me? Maybe I offended them somewhere. " When she heard her classmates laughing, she thought she was laughing at her. Sitting in front of the classroom, she is worried that others will speak ill of her behind her back; Sitting at the back of the classroom, she thought that the people in front would only look back at her and tell her jokes, which made her fidget all day and couldn't sleep, fearing that others would speak ill of her after sleeping. In this way, I was in a state of doubt all day, and I suffered from insomnia neurosis over time.
The cause of doubt
This suspicious personality psychology belongs to the phenomenon of closed thinking. In ancient fables, there is a story that a suspect stole an axe. It is said that a farmer lost his axe and suspected that it was stolen by his neighbor, so he observed his neighbor's every move. As a result, the more he looked at it, the more he felt that his neighbor had a guilty conscience. Later, he found the axe. Looking at his neighbor's behavior, he felt no different from normal people.
This story is a typical example of doubt: the farmer who lost his axe started with an imaginary goal, gradually strengthened his guess, and finally found some arguments out of thin air to prove his imaginary goal. In order to justify themselves, they can even create some phenomena out of thin air. More and more skeptical, more and more skeptical.
The formation of suspicious personality is also related to the family influence in childhood. Either one parent is suspicious, or parents often hold a suspicious attitude towards their children, which will lead to the formation of their suspicious personality.
Some doubts are caused by passive self-defense. In the past, I was cheated because I trusted others, or I was emotionally frustrated, so "once bitten, twice shy." In order to prevent being cheated or frustrated again, they are always wary of others, no longer trust anyone easily, and often think the worst of others, and as a result, they gradually form a suspicious character.
A way to dispel doubts
Knowing the reason of doubt, we can take targeted measures to eliminate doubt. For college students, we should pay special attention to the following points:
First of all, we must break the closed thinking. In real life, it is ridiculous to expose many suspects. But before debunking, skeptics will think that things are logical because of the self-suggestion psychology dominated by ancestors. To break the closed thinking, we should not only prevent the psychological stereotype that ancestors are the mainstay, but also keep in mind the old saying that "the authorities are fascinated and the bystanders are clear." If necessary, we should invite some people we can trust to help us analyze, so as to eliminate some absurd and random doubts.
Nothing in the world is difficult for one who sets his mind to it. Due to the lack of self-confidence, skeptics are particularly concerned about other people's comments, and they are also particularly worried about other people's comments. They are afraid that others will look down on themselves, so that they always feel that others are talking about their own shortcomings or deficiencies, and they always suspect that others are doing things that damage their reputation or are not conducive to themselves. "Nobody talks behind people's backs, and nobody talks behind people's backs". You don't have to mind if others talk about yourself. Other people's comments are not necessarily correct. What's the fun of living according to other people's comments all day? I want a spirit of "going my own way and letting others talk"!
Suspicion is often the result of lack of communication and artificial psychological barriers, and it may also be the result of misunderstanding or gossiping by others. Knowing this, we should have an open heart-to-heart talk with the suspect in an appropriate way to eliminate misunderstandings and dispel doubts.
Zhang Ying's parents are both intellectuals, and a good family environment and high intellectual factors provide superior conditions for her later study. Her primary school and middle school are in a small town, where the education level and students' intelligence are not very good. However, thanks to her parents' early education, innate quality and acquired efforts, her performance has been ranked first, far from the second. Teachers say that she is the pride of the school and has never met such a student.
So, she thought, how can I get along with other students, because their grades are too poor. It is shameful to be friends with them, so she is always lonely, like a proud peacock. She thinks this is an unusual and unconventional behavior.
The cause of conceit
The reason why adults are too conceited is also related to improper family education. Parents' overindulgence is often a hotbed of children's conceit. Children have become "bullies" at home since childhood. They are self-centered in everything and do whatever they want. Over time, "I am better than others", forming a blind and arrogant psychology.
One-sided self-knowledge is also one of the reasons for conceit. If young people are full of strong interest and urgency in knowing and evaluating themselves, due to the limitations of social experience, their self-knowledge is still one-sided to a certain extent, and self-evaluation is still blind to a certain extent. Out of self-esteem or face-saving, they often brag or flatter each other, and tend to make their performance exceed the actual level. Over time, they have formed the psychological characteristics of "Laozi is the best in the world".
Although conceited people "feel good about themselves", they often feel lonely and painful because they have no friends around them. Perhaps, they will think that this is because they are "arrogant and indecisive" or disdain to associate with others. But have they ever thought about whether others are willing to accept themselves?
Conceited self-regulation
In order to overcome the psychological problem of conceit, adults should not only realize the harm of conceit, but also dig out the root of conceit so as to prescribe the right medicine. If your conceit is caused by one-sided self-knowledge, then you should adjust your perspective in time to fully understand yourself, especially pay attention to understanding and analyzing your own shortcomings and aspects that are inferior to others, such as bad popularity, few friends, selfishness, lack of discipline and meanness. But don't overdo it and turn to inferiority.
If your conceit is caused by improper family education, you should realize that parents have a preference for their children, and they want their children to be excellent, so they often only see the advantages of their children or exaggerate their own advantages. In fact, you have shortcomings or deficiencies like other children, and you are not better than others in everything.
If your conceit is caused by smooth sailing in life, then you should warn yourself that life is not static, the past does not represent the present, and the present does not represent the future. The advantages you had in the past may not be there in the future. Similarly, people who were inferior to you in the past may not be inferior to you in the future. If you "feel good about yourself" because of the past, you may stand still and "retreat if you don't advance". Remember that.