The first is to accept and build children's sense of security.
1. Accept children's emotions, allow children to have negative emotions, and respect children's feelings, because there is no right or wrong feeling, and parents' attitude is the key to understanding children.
2. Help children express their emotions.
Four first aid measures for noisy children. Click 1 to listen to the child carefully; Point 2, identify the child's feelings with words; Point 3, express the child's feelings with appropriate words; Point 4, satisfy the child's wishes with imagination; Parental companionship and listening are more important than preaching, so that children can realize their true feelings. The reason of adolescent betrayal is the depression of childhood.
3. Accept children's differences.
We should also teach children to have emotional outlets, for example, let them exercise, draw pictures and vent through writing and singing.
Second, cooperate and correctly handle the contradiction between parents and children.
Deliberately create an atmosphere of mutual respect and cultivate the spirit of cooperation between children and parents.
The key points are: first, deal with your negative emotions and think about cooperation methods; Second, respect and understand children and understand what children need. Third, find the contradiction, sort it out and describe it.
How do parents encourage their children to cooperate? Here are five tips. First describe, describe what you see or describe the problem. Second, prompt to provide information to children. Third, be concise. Let the children go to the toilet by themselves in a few simple words. What should they do? Discuss the matter and make suggestions. Fourth, express your feelings. Don't talk about children's character or personality. Pay attention to describe your feelings and start from my thoughts. Fifth, write a note. Sometimes words are more effective than spoken words.
Ask yourself these questions when your child is disobedient.
Do my requirements for children match their age and ability?
Still think my request is reasonable?
Can I let my children choose when to do it?
Can I let my children choose what to do?
Can the home environment be changed for the convenience of children?
Third, respect.
First, respect children's differences and find their bright spots, not resentment and accusations. Second, respect children's emotions, because everyone has emotions. Third, respect children's ideas and choices, and regard children as participants in solving problems. Punishment brings negative emotions, hatred, revenge, resistance and self-pity. What children need is to experience the consequences of their bad behavior, not to experience punishment.
So what can be done specifically to make children become active participants? First, ask your child for help; Second, clearly express the position of strong disagreement; Third, tell children how to make up for their mistakes; Fourth, provide choices; Fifth, take action; Sixth, let children experience the natural consequences of wrong behavior, without commenting, preaching, trying to convince them or considering new methods.
Fourth, encourage the cultivation of growth thinking.
First, we should distinguish between praise and encouragement, encouragement and bribery. The key is to let children know that their future achievements are related to their efforts and can be controlled by themselves.
Second, when children encounter setbacks, they need your encouragement most. There are three steps, 1 finding positive content from children's shortcomings or problems, 2 strengthening positive content, and 3 cultivating children's occasional highlights into good habits.
Third, we should encourage children to be independent. There are six skills, 1. Don't interfere too much in children's lives in details. Parents interfere too much, and children who are too meticulous often get impatient. 2. No matter how young the child is, try to avoid talking face to face; 3. Let others ask the children's questions; 4. Respect children who appear occasionally and are not ready; 5. Be careful to say too many no's; 6. Let children have their own bodies.
Fifth, how to praise children effectively.
First, praise should be cautious, and don't give it casually. Second, praise should focus on key points, give priority to descriptive praise, and objectively describe what you see and how you feel. Third, praise should be timely, and you should deliberately train yourself to say it. Fourth, the skills of appreciation are not only useful for children, but also useful for the intimate relationship between husband and wife and getting along with friends.
Sixth, build self-confidence, please don't label your children.
First, be careful of the harm of psychological suggestion and try to avoid labeling children negatively. Second, if children already have a lot of labels, we should create opportunities for them to know their new selves, such as increasing opportunities for daily communication and expression and increasing opportunities for performances.
What about the top one? These are the six principles and methods of parent-child communication. I hope I can apply what I have learned and master it. I believe that every parent who has created a family of mutual respect and cooperation is also creating a beautiful world together.
Author: unusual road
Link: /p/bd4283eb8f55
Source: Jane books
The copyright belongs to the author. Please contact the author for authorization for commercial reprinting, and please indicate the source for non-commercial reprinting.
Hope to adopt