Friends who click on this article must have a very high value. We have a really good relationship. I will bring you different parenting information every day. If you have any comments on my article or other contents, please comment positively below. I will read every article carefully. Then the content of this issue is: what is more terrible than "poverty" is that parents "cry poor" to their children! Then let's take a look!
Crying for low education will hurt children, not help them.
We often hear people of the older generation say that "the boys born are definitely not well raised and the girls born are not well raised", which is no problem in the past society.
But for today's society, if we continue to blindly instill the concept of poverty in children, it will not only make children feel inferior.
And this is not conducive to the development of children and adults entering the society. After all, even if these children can earn money by their own jobs, they don't believe that the money is earned by their own abilities, because they are really used to being "poor".
There used to be a question in Zhihu Island: What influence will parents have on their children's crying?
A netizen replied:
"I travel-stained, powerless. Spending money has become a very painful thing. I feel inferior. I don't deserve good things. I like living in my own fantasy. Once reality becomes reality. Unlike me, I will become sensitive and irritable. "
In fact, many families are not without money. They just want to teach their children to be smarter by crying for them. Children are very sensitive to the energy transmitted by their parents and may become more "smart" as their parents hope.
But this is only a superficial phenomenon that parents see, and parents can't see all kinds of negative effects that accompany their children's spiritual growth.
When they grow up, these influences will always be rooted in their hearts, affecting children's life and marriage views, and even it is difficult for them to achieve autonomy and self-healing in life.
Earlier, there was a news: "Kunming lost female college students died and confirmed their death." The news boarded a popular search, which triggered a heated discussion among netizens.
It is reported that this girl is a sophomore in Kunming Metallurgical College. Many days after her disappearance, her body was found in the park, leaving only a suicide note for her family.
Lost female college students
The girl wrote in the suicide note:
"Since the childhood, I have always admired the children of the rich. I can do anything I want. I don't have to worry about anything. I can never stand in front of others because of my poor family conditions.
"Every time I ask you for living expenses, it's hard for me to speak. I often argue with you about money. I dare not call you that now. I am afraid that I will cry when I hear your voice. "
"I seem very depressed, I don't want to communicate with others, and I don't want to be alone ..."
Humble, lonely, helpless and heartbreaking between the lines. Some netizens said that children born in such a family are really pitiful.
It is also said that girls are depressed because of comparison and are too inconsiderate to their parents.
However, after carefully reading the girl's suicide record, we will find that she is actually a very intelligent child, because she knows that it is not easy for her parents to raise her. However, due to her poor family and quarreling with her parents about money, she was under great psychological pressure and lost confidence in life.
In the suicide note, she also hopes that her parents can educate her sister well and not let her be like herself.
I can't imagine how much psychological shadow poverty has caused her, but it is worth thinking: parents' attitudes and behaviors towards poverty usually have a great influence on their children.
Many parents don't know that a family that always tells its children that "we are poor" can easily destroy their children. Just like the ubiquitous chronic poison, it brainwashes children from time to time, and finally there is nowhere to escape.
The writer Edgar Bledsoe once said that if a child is "poor" by education at an early age, she will be "poor" all her life.
Poverty here refers not only to material shortage, but also to stress and uncertainty in life.
Parents often "cry for poverty" to their children, which will make them overreact to the difficulties in life, unable to consider long-term plans, and even easy to fall into extremes.
Children who grow up in the voice of "crying poor people" find it difficult to feel happy and are prone to personality defects.
Come to think of it, some things will be terrible.
Although not all poor families will let their children fall into despair, children who cry when they grow up are usually insecure and particularly sensitive to inferiority. What's even more frightening is:
Once the poverty thought is engraved in the background of life, it will become a part of the role, and I am afraid it will never change in this life.
I once saw the story of a high school girl on the Internet.
She said that in the eyes of outsiders, she is a sunny and cheerful girl. In fact, these are all fake. She is real, she is self-abased, sensitive and fragile. She is afraid of making friends with excellent people and attending class reunion.
Being poor, she has no pocket money.
In fact, her family conditions are not bad, but her parents strictly control her pocket money and always complain that it is not easy to make money.
Even if she wants to buy study materials, her mother won't.
If you need to pay the registration fee to participate in some competitions, her parents will persuade her to give up, saying that she lost money but didn't win the prize, so it would be a waste of money, let alone asking them other things.
She likes a boy, only secretly, and dare not take any action, because she feels that she is not worthy of him.
The girl said that the most painful thing is not poverty, but that her parents cry and constantly instill the concept of poverty in her, making herself feel inferior to her bones.
However, when parents often complain to their children that "money is not enough" and verbally express "our family is poor and there is no need to buy", it will only bring more negative effects to their children.
The crying of the poor will make them become stingy, stingy and even materialistic when they grow up.
There is also a kind of parents who are not necessarily poor. "Crying poor" may just be a habit of them, and the starting point is to exercise children with poverty.
However, when parents often complain to their children that "money is not enough" and verbally express "our family is poor and there is no need to buy", it will only bring more negative effects to their children.
This negative effect is partly due to lack of patience, and they become stingy, stingy and unwilling to pay;
Some of them have a sense of inferiority because they study with their classmates and become likable when they grow up.
More importantly, you can never get what you want, which will lead to an abnormal view of money and excessive pursuit of material things in adulthood. ...
A good education can be material but spiritual.
In the face of poverty, some people, like pine trees and cypresses, have the spirit of tenacious struggle, while others have distorted personalities and even become slaves of money, with different fates.
These are inseparable from the spiritual nutrition and influence of parents' early upbringing.
First of all, no matter how hard life is, we should bring hope to our children.
Whether a child's heart is rich or poor is not entirely due to material lack, but to the family's attitude towards life.
Third, parents should first consider poverty before giving their children a habit.
The misunderstanding of many parents' education is that they hope their children will have foresight and role models in the future.
On the one hand, they can't get rid of the limitations of poverty thought. They don't want to spend money to take their children to travel, buy new things for them or take them to the movies, and ask them to save as much as possible.
This not only reduces children's chances of contact with the outside world, but also affects the development of the brain, thus limiting children's understanding of the world.
What parents should do is to take their children to see new things regularly, broaden their horizons, buy more expensive clothes when shopping, and let their children know that they can have a good life in the future as long as they work hard. Things.
Finally, let children learn how to manage money and establish a correct concept of financial management.
Education experts believe that parents and children's attitudes towards money will affect children's view of money.
Don't tell children that this product is expensive, we can't afford it. Instead, tell them, "We have a budget every month. We are now over budget and can only buy it next time. "
Children's reasonable needs should be met as much as possible. If the ability is limited, children will be given some pocket money regularly to encourage them to realize their wishes by saving money.
A good education will never cry or even pretend to be poor, but let children understand the meaning of life and the value of self-achievement through proper education.
Parents' words and deeds cover up their children's future.
Smart parents never cry to their children, because children who don't cry can give them stronger armor to meet the challenges in life.