Children are always shy and afraid to show what to do. It is normal for children to be shy. There will be happiness and trouble in the process of growing up. We should solve problems with our children and become better people together. Children are always shy, afraid to show what to do and teach you how to educate them.
Children are always shy. What if you dare not show them? 1 1. Children should be guided to correctly understand shyness.
What is shyness, when should you be shy, and how to overcome shyness. Shyness is actually a fear. Worried that your shortcomings exposed to the sun will make others look down on you. So I dare not confess. The more you express yourself, the more you feel afraid. Ordinary people are also afraid. However, shy people are more sensitive and overly afraid. Girls are delicate in heart, and some girls are naturally shy. Generally speaking, girls are not shy easily. If you are introverted and unwilling to get in touch with people, the chances of being shy are many times greater than those of other girls. However, there are fewer occasions when boys are shy. Boys should also overcome shyness and express themselves bravely and boldly.
2. Guide and encourage children to overcome shyness and fear and boldly show themselves in front of children.
With the encouragement of all the children and teachers, Yang Yang blushed for the first time, walked up to the children and sang a beautiful song for everyone. Run back after singing and bend your head on the table. Teachers and children praised and encouraged Yang Yang together. "You are the bravest, and I want to be as brave as you." After returning home, parents rewarded Yang Yang again and bought him a beloved toy. So Yang Yang slowly began to try to express himself. Children are too shy to express themselves in public, which has a lot to do with family education.
3. Parents' parenting attitude and parenting style are improper.
Children who grow up under the education of beating and cursing may be afraid to express themselves and even refuse to express themselves in a naughty and provocative way. Overprotective of children. Parents' excessive protection and care make children feel safe and dare to show themselves only at home and in front of their parents. In kindergartens and other places, they will hide themselves out of self-protection and dare not make a sound.
Parents forbid children to interact with others.
For the sake of safety, some parents forbid their children to play with other children, fearing that their children will learn badly. Children lose the opportunity to get along with their peers, and their communication skills are not exercised, which also affects their confidence and courage to express themselves.
5. Parents expect too much from their children.
Parents don't care about the difference of children's development level, and expect too much from their children. When children can't meet their own requirements, they show disappointment and even blame them, which makes them lose confidence in themselves and dare not show themselves.
6. Children have no chance to practice.
In some families, adults like to reprimand their children with the authority of "adults talk and children don't interrupt" Slowly, children are afraid to express because they lack the opportunity to express themselves, but they don't know how to express themselves. Parents who leave their children in the care of nannies often ignore the conversation with their children, let them say what they think and help them develop their thinking, imagination and speaking ability. Children gradually become dull and retreat in the absence of conversation and communication with others. In the family, parents should know more about their children and know what kind of temperament they belong to first.
If the child's natural temperament is retreat, the adaptability and persistence are low, and the performance ability is naturally poor. Then, as long as he can participate in group activities happily, there is no need to force him to highlight himself. In the world of children, there is also a face problem. Adults should not force him to show too much, but should consider the child's personality and ability, so as not to cause fear and frustration and form a psychological burden.
7. Parents should avoid limiting their children's performance to the narrow scope of talent show.
Children like telling stories, helping others and taking care of other children like brothers and sisters, such as comforting crying children. This spontaneous behavior is a manifestation of one's own initiative and should be recognized, appreciated and strongly supported by parents!
Children are always shy and afraid to show what to do. When you meet an unfamiliar person in an unfamiliar environment, you will hide behind your parents or snuggle up to them. Parents move when they move, especially timid and shy. If children are always so reluctant to let go in unfamiliar environments or public places and can't express themselves calmly in front of strangers, it will have a certain impact on the formation of children's character.
Therefore, as parents, we must find out the reasons for children's shyness, otherwise children will form introverted and unsociable characters when they grow up, and even affect their lives.
On the one hand, the formation of children's personality will be influenced by congenital factors, on the other hand, it will be different because of the acquired living environment and the way parents cultivate.
1. Parents' personality can reflect children's personality characteristics.
Parents are the first teachers after their children come to this world, and their words and deeds can find a shadow in their children.
If in a family, parents are introverted and inarticulate, children who live with their parents for a long time will also be affected, resulting in their reticence and lack of communication skills.
2. Children feel insecure for a long time.
If children live in an insecure family environment for a long time, such as parents' disharmony and frequent quarrels, children often feel uneasy and afraid, gradually become timid, dare not talk to others, and gradually close themselves in their own small world.
Therefore, having a harmonious family atmosphere is an important foundation for children to build a sense of security. Only by living in an environment with a sense of self-security, can children integrate with the surrounding environment, let go of their hearts, dare to fully show themselves and express themselves, and are not afraid of contacting new environments and strangers.
3. Parents who are too strict may make their children more worthless.
Some parents advocate "stick education". After a child makes a mistake, they think that only by hitting the child can the child truly realize his wrong behavior and educate the child well.
American writer Alimu once said, "Only by mastering the methods and skills of scolding and reprimanding can we achieve the purpose and effect of education. Improper punishment will hurt children unconsciously. "
Many children have been hurt by their parents' aggressive education and verbal violence, especially when they show shy and timid behavior when they encounter difficulties. Parents begin to give aggressive education to their children and label them as "coward", "disappointing" and "worthless".
Parents' words have a strong psychological effect on children, and children's behavior will produce cognitive bias to these tagged languages. This will not only change the status quo of children's timidity, but also make children easily think that they are what their parents say, and then become more timid and shy, and may not be able to remove these labels for the rest of their lives.
Parents try their best to make their children lose their initiative.
Many times, it's not that children can't do well, but that parents do everything, which makes children lose the opportunity to face difficulties and tests.
Some parents are afraid that their children can't do well or worry that their children will suffer, and they want to do everything for their children, so that their children can enjoy success without worry. Parents think this is to protect their children. As everyone knows, this kind of excessive protection has swept away every obstacle on the child's growth path, deprived the child of the opportunity to face difficulties alone, and made the child more timid and afraid of difficulties.
Children may easily cope with everything around their parents. Once they leave the familiar environment, they will immediately fall into a panic about the unknown.
Therefore, only when parents learn to let go can children have independent ability.
In the process of educating children, if children can be treated predictably, then when children have some behavior, parents will first reflect on their own behavior gains and losses, instead of trying to correct their behavior immediately.
So, what should children do if they want to adapt to the new environment quickly and are not afraid to associate with strangers?
1. Create a good social environment for children.
If a child behaves normally at home, he will become timid and afraid in other people's homes or public places. It is because he spends a long time at home, spends a long time with his family, is more familiar with his family, and has too little time and opportunity to meet strangers.
Whether a child is willing to make new friends depends mainly on how many opportunities you give him to get in touch with children, and whether the child is willing to take the initiative to say hello to strange children in the new environment depends mainly on how many opportunities you create for him to get along with strangers.
If children live in an environment with many children around them since childhood, they often have the opportunity to play games with them. With this kind of experience, children will naturally meet new friends, just like at home.
If children's parents often contact strangers and have friendly conversations with strangers, then children will be particularly natural, not afraid and not shy when facing strangers.
On the contrary, if the children's parents have a small social circle and hardly take them out to meet new friends, then the children will be embarrassed or afraid to speak when facing strangers.
Take children to contact with the outside world, communicate with others, play with other children, and take children to public places. Children watch and listen more, and gradually they are not afraid of strange environments.
Therefore, if children have more opportunities and experiences to get along with others, they will gradually become bold, willing to talk to others, not shy, and not afraid to associate with strange children.
A tolerant and relaxed family environment gives children enough encouragement, stimulates their self-confidence and frees them from timidity and shyness.
2. Correctly understand shyness and show understanding and acceptance for children's timidity and shyness.
Under normal circumstances, it is normal for children to be timid and shy when they are young and afraid to meet strangers. With the growth of age, children see more and contact more people, and this situation will naturally improve. Parents need not worry too much.
When younger children face unfamiliar scenes, fear, nervousness and shyness are all normal manifestations. Parents don't have to interfere too much. If children are forced to behave naturally, it will only make them more nervous and deepen their fears.
Every child is shy. With the continuous development of children's self-awareness, they will pay more attention to themselves and begin to care about the eyes of people around them. Parents should understand their children, accept their behaviors, and don't label them as "timid" or "introverted" casually, because such labels will give children psychological hints that they are introverted, shy and timid. In the long run, their timid behavior will intensify.
When children's behavior is accepted by their parents, their self-confidence will not be dampened.
If children don't want to associate with strange children, they don't have to. Parents can show their children how to greet and communicate with others. Slowly, children will imitate little by little by observing their parents' behavior.
3. Help children to increase their psychological security by listening and guiding.
Every child has a different temperament. Some children are extroverted by nature and like to communicate with strangers. They know each other well. In a new environment, they will not feel embarrassed when they meet more people, and they are particularly easy to "blend in" with others. However, some children are introverted and spend a long time getting acquainted with strangers, commonly known as "slow-heating type". But this does not mean that introverted children have poor social skills, because their brains need longer time to process information under the stimulation of new environment.
Parents don't have to be too eager to change their children's status quo, and they can't force their children to express themselves in strange environments. If a child doesn't want to show himself in front of others, don't say that the child is timid and shy. This is not only not conducive to changing their own status quo, but may also be because parents' "labeling" behavior has a bad influence on their children, making them more timid and shy.
Bechor, an American psychologist, said: Once a person is labeled, he is likely to be labeled.
Before taking children to meet unfamiliar people, you can tell them where to go and who to meet in advance, and you can also rehearse how to greet them in advance, which can help children prepare psychologically and offset their fears.
If children still have resistance and dare not meet unfamiliar people directly, they can listen to their ideas patiently and help them find possible reasons.
For example: Baby, aren't you ready to say hello to your aunt? Let's rehearse now, shall we "Baby, just ask you to dance for your uncle. You don't want to dance. Are you afraid that you can't dance well? " Children may say, I'm afraid I can't dance well and my uncle will laugh. At this time, you can tell your children that if you are willing to dance for my uncle, my uncle will definitely like it. Even if you can't dance well, my uncle won't laugh at you.
In the process of communication, understand children's thoughts and feelings, actively guide children's shy behaviors that they don't want and dare to do, and gradually let children get rid of shyness.
4. The companionship of parents is the foundation for children to build self-confidence and security.
Montessori said: A child with security will know what he wants to do and will not be easily disturbed by the outside world.
If a child is safe, he will feel safe when he meets a stranger. Although unfamiliar, I will not be afraid.
Therefore, the company of parents can make children feel more love and friendliness, and their hearts are full of security, which is the key factor to overcome shyness.
Parents should give more support and encouragement to children who lack self-confidence and are shy.
Psychologist Susan Bogell said that parents' praise and encouragement can help children reduce shyness. Those children who are always criticized and denied will be more timid and shy.
Encourage more and criticize less, because negative evaluation of children will only make them shrink back, while encouragement will make them more willing to express themselves.
Praise and encouragement need to be immediate and specific, that is, encourage children in time when they see good behavior, and encourage them to describe their behavior in detail, instead of saying "son, you are great" in general.
There are certain psychological reasons behind children's timidity and shyness. Parents should see the real reason behind their children's shyness through appearances, so as to prescribe the right medicine and help them get rid of the shy mode.
Children are always shy and afraid to show what to do. Many parents of shy children have this experience. At home, the children are very loud, dancing, singing and dancing, but once outsiders come, the children seem to be different.
In fact, shy children are not always shy, and their shyness is mostly manifested in unfamiliar environments or strangers.
Because you don't like to fight for it, you often lose many opportunities. More importantly, shy children are also prone to inferiority complex, which leads to self-image doubts ... these are all things that parents need to pay attention to.
When your baby is shy: Parents and friends might as well try to say these words to encourage their children!
(1) Those lively children are anxious when they first come into contact with new things, and you are not the only one.
(2) It takes time to make friends and gain friendship. Friends will appear when you need to make friends.
(3) You are cute and cute. When you learn to share, you will make many friends. Show your confidence and everything will be fine.
(4) Make friends slowly, from less to more, the first friend is the hardest, and it will become easier in the future.
How to guide children's shy personality
A shy child must first know that he is not so "different". Compared with his peers who are active in public, he just needs more time to get into the state.
Although he is willing to play outside, he really doesn't want others to "see" him. The feeling of being in the spotlight can only make him feel worse.
He wants to know how to fight for and grasp his rights in some cases; He also needs to know the specific methods and skills of public performance, which need the guidance and guidance of battle-hardened parents.
Tips to help shy babies make friends.
In addition to language encouragement, parents can also build many platforms for shy babies in all aspects of life:
(1) Let the baby go out for a walk more, let the baby broaden his horizons and increase his experience, so that the baby will gradually learn to adapt to the new environment and stop being shy.
(2) Encourage children to participate in various community activities, such as singing and dancing, so that children can learn to express themselves. Children will not be shy when they learn to express themselves bravely.
(3) For example, when children go to school, they can find old classmates who go to the new school together, so that children will not feel lonely and can quickly adapt to the new environment and make new friends.
(4) When a shy baby asks questions, no matter what the content is, parents should stop what they are doing and listen carefully, so that he can feel that he is being paid attention to. If the baby thinks what he says is very important, then he will be more confident in the interaction with his peers.