Hello everyone, I am Tina, a senior student with a PhD in Psychology from the University of Edinburgh. This is my first article. I want to talk to you about my biggest insights from my Ph.D.: Reconciling with myself.

From 2017.1 to 2021.1, in four years, I completed my Ph.D.

From 2011.9 to 2021.9, for ten years, I studied in the UK.

It is not easy to persevere all the way.

Looking back on the past four years of my PhD studies, I have achieved results that I am proud of, and I have also experienced abyss-like troughs. There was a period of time in which I doubted life and my own choices. I suffered from insomnia, anxiety, crying, and emotional breakdown. I felt like I couldn't breathe and couldn't persevere. The doctor’s depression and anxiety are issues that cannot be ignored.

I attribute all of this to my surroundings.

But later I discovered that I was wrong.

The biggest enemy is not your parents, your mentors, or your colleagues, but yourself.

My classmates, if you also have plans to study for a Ph.D., maybe you are waiting and watching, maybe you have started to prepare, maybe you are going through rounds of interviews, waves of recruitment, or You have been lucky enough to get the offer...

Then please be sure to read this article.

I hope that before you start studying for a Ph.D., as a senior student, I can tell you some of my inner thoughts. I will tell you about my journey over the past four years and the process of coming to terms with myself.

I hope these words can increase your confidence and make your path to study smoother and warmer.

Peer pr essure (peer pressure), what a terrible word...

You feel like you are holding back a lot of energy, you feel like you are wearing armor, and you feel like you are holding a weapon in your hands. , to resist attacks from peers around you. You are always ready to start fighting mode.

If you chose to study for a Ph.D. at that time, you should be really good. Maybe you are a student at a top school, the best in your class, and got good grades in distinction. Maybe you are the "other people's kid" that your parents have always told you, or maybe you are the person who is envied by everyone in your circle of friends.

As a result, you are surrounded by an inexplicable sense of superiority.

However, when you start studying for a Ph.D., you find that you have fallen into the "pile of superior people." Because everyone is equally good, and there are even too many people better than you...

Only then do you know that there are people outside the world, and there is a sky outside the world...

At that time, I read Bo, whether it is colleagues around me or friends I met along the way, many domestic ones are from Tsinghua University and Peking University, and many foreign ones are from Oxbridge. If anyone talks about their own experiences, you may think "Wow, you are so awesome"...

Maybe it's because I have been alone abroad for so many years that I have become stronger. So in the beginning, I took all these as my pressure, thinking, I have to do better than you.

However, I later discovered that there is no end to this comparison...because excellent people emerge in endlessly. You work so hard to surpass, catch up, and work so hard, but for whom are you doing it?

Moreover, in this process, trying to understand the progress and learning situation of others also wastes a lot of your own time.

Instead of chasing after others, focus on yourself.

Comparing yourself with yourself, do you think you have made progress?

Comparing yourself with yourself, do you think you have learned anything?

Comparing yourself with yourself, do you feel better than yesterday?

Comparing yourself with yourself, are you satisfied with your current situation?

If so, then that's enough.

Because as long as you surpass yourself, you will make progress.

As long as today is better than yesterday, even if it is only a little bit, it is progress.

While envying others, take a look at your own progress and shining points, so that you will be more motivated in this matter. Keep the focus on yourself.?

At that time, I had the habit of writing a small diary every day to review what was done well today and what needed improvement. This not only praises yourself today, but also brings hope for tomorrow.

It must be admitted that not every effort will have good results.

When I was in my first year of study, I suffered two big blows in a row. Because of my doctoral research topic, I changed it twice in one year.

The first time was because about two months after I started school, we discovered that a paper that was very similar to the research I proposed suddenly appeared. What the instructor meant at the time was, "It doesn't make much sense to do the same thing as what others have done already right?" ("It doesn't make much sense to do the same research as others").

I never imagined that something like this would happen...

This was a big blow to me at the time, because when I applied for a Ph.D., my proposal I made very careful revisions with my tutor, going back and forth four or five times, and finally submitted the formal application after the tutor approved it (the final version of the proposal at that time was almost 6,000 words).

So I spent another four months starting over. I searched for a new topic, read the literature, wrote another proposal, and found a topic with completely different research objects and research questions.

So the entire first half of my first year of my bachelor's degree was very frustrating.

I thought it might be fine if I finished writing it. Unexpectedly, the nightmare began when I started doing the pilot study. Because it was discovered that there were big problems with the design and materials of the experiment, and it was impossible to measure what we wanted to see.

So I adjusted the research questions of my proposal again, revised the research methods and experimental materials bit by bit, and tried bit by bit until it was completed.

These two big blows taught me that many things will not result in good results if you work hard. So much is out of our control.

And maybe the only thing we can control is that after being knocked down, think about why we fell, then get up and fight again.

The first blow taught me that I should do research as early as possible and always pay attention to the research trends in the field (at that time, I really lacked research experience when I was a PhD student).

The second blow taught me that every detail must be taken into consideration when designing an experiment. No matter how beautiful your idea is, you need to start executing it.

Success requires a process. It is impossible to succeed casually every time, because luck cannot always be with you. And these obstacles that come up halfway are actually tests for you.

As long as you don’t abandon or give up, the road ahead will become smoother and smoother, with blue sea and blue sky.

Once, a friend sent me a message and asked me a study question. I didn’t know the answer, so I told him, “I don’t know this, you can ask others.

"

I thought the conversation ended happily, but the other party replied:

"Aren't you a doctor? You don't understand this? ”

I was confused at the time... I am a doctor, should I know everything?

And there are still some questions, such as:

I am Do I have to go to the office every day?

Do I have to study for eight hours every day?

Do I have to read four/five articles every day? >

After graduation, can I only go to university to be a teacher?

I want to ask: Who stipulates these? Who are the so-called "ta"? "What about them"? Are they the standard?

You can have your own rhythm!

If you think the library is more suitable for you, then go to the library to study ! If you feel more comfortable in a coffee shop, then go to a coffee shop to learn! If you feel better at home, then you can stay at home.

If you feel bad today, just relax. A holiday!

As for the employment direction after graduation, you can choose to try something you like, start a business, or enter a company, and your PhD degree will be your backing! If you don’t like it, you can still find a teaching job in a college.

As long as you like it, you are happy, and it suits you, then it is the best!

Don’t live in what others think. In "good", this will be really tiring.

And I can understand that it takes courage to step out of the worldly box, because you have to be prepared. Not everyone will understand you. Those who don't understand you may cause you harm.

But I just want to say that as long as you make a decision, stop paying attention to other people's words. If you have not experienced other people's hard work, you are not qualified to comment at will, so you don't have to take what they say to heart.

The student days are very beautiful. Compared with the company, the workplace, and the shopping mall, it may be. Very simple.

But we cannot live in the ivory tower forever.

Because after graduation, we still have to face the society. Even if we become a teacher in a university, it is still a small society. There are also social rules. If you only face books in four years, are you ready for employment after graduation?

So while we are academic, don’t forget to grasp the social aspect. If you have the opportunity to get in touch, try to do more other things.

In terms of study, you can go to more meetings, participate in workshops, seminars, give lectures, be a tutor, be a research assistant, and get to know more colleagues in the same field. ; In life, you can develop hobbies and make more friends. If time permits, you can also try different types of part-time jobs and internships.

You have many choices to enrich your life.

It is not easy to study for a Ph.D., but you must love yourself well while reading. I would like to thank everyone.