Because after entering the society, most people's hearts are locked to others. In society, interests and power have blinded them. Not so innocent anymore. Everyone is fighting for the benefit. Dare not slack off
, dare not trust others. I'm afraid that I will fail if I have a little slack, and I'm afraid that if I believe that others will
be cheated by others. Society is very complicated. Why is it difficult to make friends after the age of 3?
At the age of 3, people of the same age are busy and feed their families. They are all focused on family business, and it is difficult to make friends after they are in college and have just entered the society.
People in society are all around interests.
Because people become particularly complicated,
it is difficult for you to meet heart-to-heart.
With more social experience,
naturally you don't want to make contact. How can I make friends when I just enter the society? Workplace friends enter!
friends themselves are not easy to make. A friend in your eyes is not a friend at all, but a playmate. So don't worry about it. The root of a good relationship with colleagues lies in your character and your personality charm. This is not learned or teachable. Personality charm is the synthesis of thought, morality, knowledge, talent and character. Work hard, little sister. Why is it difficult to make friends after the age of 3?
Readers have no eternal friends, only eternal interests. Why can't they make same-sex friends after entering the society?
it's normal that you can't have a complete heart-to-heart relationship because of the close relationship at work. But it's normal to find someone to talk to, as long as you have a warm and sincere attitude, I think it's ok. If you don't feel that there can be friendship and sisters in your heart, don't worry, things will definitely not be as you wish. It might be easier if you change your thinking mode. If you still believe in making friends, don't give up.
It's not your problem
When you get to the society, you can imagine the mutual trust of people who have grown up and formed their personalities before they start to get to know each other. I don't know anything about it. Imagine who would entrust a familiar stranger with the matter of his daily necessities. I'm also a recent graduate, and my friends are already very fixed. Friends of the opposite sex are fine, because the opposite sex still has the possibility of attraction. Why is it difficult to make friends after 3 years old?
Because it involves interest disputes after getting married and starting a business, the feelings are not simple, and they all use each other's 4-year-old women to re-enter the society and make friends.
In clinical psychological counseling, I often receive such women, who have just turned 4, but feel exhausted and worried. Uneven, sad, wronged, annoyed, angry, etc., they think that their husbands, children or other family members don't understand themselves, don't like themselves, and their husbands don't love themselves, so they have no time to stretch their tight brows. They torture themselves with other people's mistakes and others with their own. They have endless complaints, countless troubles, endless jealousy and endless grievances. They look at the world forever. What's wrong with these women? In fact, they have entered menopause.
Menopause is a specific period in a person's life cycle. In women, it refers to the transitional period in which women's ovarian function moves from exuberance to decline. According to the determination of menopausal changes, menopause begins 1 years before menopause, that is, about 4 years old, and the clinical sign of ovarian function decline is menopause. When the hormone level in women drops, all kinds of psychological problems will follow. At this time, they will think that they have paid too much for their families, husbands and children, and they have not received due rewards; Some women will have serious jealousy, doubt their husbands for no reason, and even "peacocks fly southeast" for this reason, resulting in family breakdown.
how can I make myself happy, chic and charming? Try the following methods:
1. Cultivate your own interest: As the saying goes, "Men are 4 flowers and women are 4 tofu dregs." When a woman reaches the age of 4, her busy life will change, such as her children leaving her for school or work; The husband is busy at work and has too many social activities to take care of himself; Long-term busy life makes me lose friends, and no one cares about myself; When life suddenly relaxes, there will be a sense of loss, because you have lost yourself in the long-term family life. At the beginning, your husband loved you because you were you, but after marriage? You changed yourself, and you willingly became an accessory to your husband. Therefore, we should learn to cultivate our own interests, participate in social activities, study hard some new things, and improve ourselves in some healthy entertainment; Actively participate in various social welfare activities and improve themselves in the activities; What is your essence to keep your essence? If you are a smart and studious woman, don't give up your love of reading because you are 4 years old; If you are an industrious and capable woman, don't let your age affect your progress, and you can still succeed. If you are an independent woman, don't rely on your husband's intelligence, ability and status to satisfy your vanity; If you are a gentle and considerate woman, don't become vulgar and arrogant because of the triviality of family affairs; You should let your husband know your sincerity, your free and easy, your love and your seriousness in sticking to yourself.
2. Believe in your lover's loyalty: eliminate jealousy. Jealousy is explained in Modern Chinese Dictionary as: "Jealousy refers to a kind of resentment towards people who are better than themselves in talent, reputation, status or circumstances". American thinker Bernhardt thinks: "Jealousy refers to an emotion when you realize that your possession of someone, something or something is threatened by reality or potential." Obviously, jealousy is a bad mood. Jealousy can occur because when a woman reaches menopause, her self-confidence will decrease, her mind will become narrow and her communication with her husband will decrease. When jealousy arises, we might as well adopt the method of self-suggestion, often recall some scenes when we are in love with our husbands, recall their love for themselves, their contribution to their families and their responsibilities to their children, and strive to convince ourselves that their husbands would never do anything to hurt themselves and their families. And try to convince yourself that the woman you suspect is kind and will never do anything. For example, if we make friends and imagine him as a noble person and a moral gentleman, we will feel particularly happy; If we regard him as a dirty villain, we will be particularly miserable and think that we are as blind as a bat and make careless friends. Therefore, we should learn to use positive self-suggestion, encourage our enterprising spirit in constant suggestion, constantly improve our personal cultivation and cultural quality, and surpass ourselves rationally. Remember, believing in the kindness of others is your own kindness; Believe that the loyalty of your lover is your own loyalty;
3. Understand the lover's psychological needs: A man in his forties is not suitable for having an idyllic dream of the last century. Love can't be won only by gentle touch, ecstasy hug and erotic intercourse. At this time, women need to know more about their husbands' psychological thoughts and needs. A woman's tenderness is always a placebo for her husband's psychology. When her husband forgets his birthday, his wife quietly prepares a very rich dinner and a box of exquisite cakes. How can her husband's heart not be full of warmth? How can there be no surprise, freshness and gratitude? When the husband came home before going on a business trip and saw his wife standing in front of the luggage packed for him, including shaving knives, tea, fruits, etc., how could the husband not be happy and beautiful? When the husband comes home from a business trip, he finds the home clean and bright, and his wife happily brings slippers for him and puts away the bath water. How can the husband not feel relaxed and happy? When your husband encounters unpleasant things, as a wife, you coax him with delicate warmth and comfort him with understanding. How can your husband not be proud of having a wife like you at this time? However, please remember: your husband prefers your strength, your humor and your perseverance.
4. An ordinary life is just as wonderful: there is a song called Looking Back, and almost all men and women around 4 can hum two sentences: "Looking back, the cloud blocks the way home ... I once pursued it repeatedly in the dark, only to know that the ordinary life is true ..." When some 4-year-old women lament that their careers have achieved nothing, their husbands are too mediocre, and life is full of sunshine or darkness. It is only determined by your attitude towards life. Helen Keller, a famous deaf-mute educator, once said, "Facing the sunshine, you will never see the shadow." You think the world is dark, because there is no lamp in your heart. We can't change the unchangeable reality in life, but we can change our outlook on life; We can't control the weather, but we can control our mood. Life is not entirely determined by what happens in life, but also by your own attitude towards life and your heart's attitude towards things. There is a short story about an old lady who has two daughters. The eldest daughter married an umbrella seller, and the second son-in-law made a living by selling straw hats. On a sunny day, the old lady sighed and said, "The umbrella of the eldest son-in-law is hard to sell, and the life of the eldest daughter is hard." But on a rainy day, she remembered her second daughter, "no one bought a straw hat again." So whether it is sunny or rainy, the old lady always looks sad and sighs.
A neighbor was amused and said to the old lady, "When it rains, you think that the umbrella of the eldest daughter is easy to sell, but when it is sunny, you think that the straw hat business of the second daughter is good. Aren't you happy every day?" After listening to her neighbor's words, the old lady thinks that what the neighbor said is very reasonable, so she has a smile on her face every day.
This story tells us that everything can be viewed from many angles and chosen from many angles. It's like Piaget's experiment of three mountains in psychology. If you look at these three mountains from three different positions, you will get three completely different results. So why do you always have to find the angle that is most unfavorable to you and give yourself a hard time?
We are faced with choices every day. The key lies in whether our attitude towards life is positive or negative. Life is a choice. When you get rid of all the boring things, every situation is faced with a choice. How do you choose to face various situations? How do you choose other people's attitudes to affect your mood? Do you choose to be in a good mood or terrible? In the final analysis, you choose how to face life;
Life is like a mirror. If you laugh, it laughs, and if you cry, it cries. May all 4-year-old women live a chic, charming and dynamic life.