I'm really happy. I'm happy in another way. All longing, suffering and enthusiasm are replaced by the steady pulse of joy, satisfaction and occasional anger, which makes people happy. If her previous life was full of ambition, then the days now are long flowing. Occasionally, she will miss the once strong feelings, not the whole romance, but the feelings in her early years. She remembers writing letters late into the night, ten pages of crazy, naked love words and full exclamation points. For a time, she sent postcards every day and talked on the phone for an hour before going to bed. At that time, in the apartment in Dalston. In their parents' house, they stayed up late listening to songs and chatting until dawn. I also went swimming in the river on New Year's Day. All these times and memories are recorded in notebooks, letters and countless photos. In the early 199s, when they almost met the photo booth, they couldn't help but get into it, because they thought it was a matter of course to keep the moment together forever. But just sit and talk to one person until dawn? Up to now, who still has time and energy to stay up all night chatting? Talk about what? House price? She had been looking forward to the phone ringing in the middle of the night; If that happens now, something must have happened. In the past 2 years, their photos have also been filled with several shoe boxes, and they are familiar with each other's faces. What do you need to take pictures for? In this era, at this age, who can write long letters and who still has so many hobbies? Sometimes she wonders what Emma Molly, who is 22 years old, thinks of Emma Mayhew today. Too much ego? Too weak? Sell yourself for real estate, overseas travel, Paris clothes and expensive hairstyles? Or too mediocre, because I changed my surname and longed for family life? Maybe so. Then at the age of 22, she is not a model: conceited, boastful, smelly-tempered, lazy, good at being a teacher, self-pitying, proud, but not confident. What she always needs most is self-confidence. This is life. Without such curiosity, that's wrong. If you still maintain your attitude of being a 22-year-old at the age of 38 and making friends, it will be demeaning. Falling in love, writing melodramatic poems, listening to pop songs and crying, dragging people into the photo booth, spending the whole day editing tapes and asking others to sleep with you? Nowadays, if you still quote Bob Dylan, Thomas Eliot, God Forbid and Brecht, the other party will smile politely and then quietly retreat. Can you blame them for this? At the age of thirty-eight, it is absurd to expect to change your life with a song, a book or a movie! No, everything is dull and quiet. The background music of life has become a quiet, contented and intimate singing, and there is no exciting ups and downs. The circle of friends will not necessarily change in the next five, ten or twenty years. If there is no accident, they will not get rich or bankrupt overnight, and they should be able to enjoy their health for a while. Everything is frozen: middle-aged, middle-class, a little happiness that is more than enough. Finally, she loves someone and is sure to be loved by the other person. If someone asks Emma how he and her husband met, she will say, "We grew up together."