1. Introduction to the author

Dale Carnegie (November 24, 1888 - November 1, 1955), a famous American master professor of interpersonal relations and one of the founders of modern adult education in the United States Father, the founder of modern interpersonal relationship education in the West, is known all over the world as the greatest spiritual mentor and success master of the 20th century.

Dale Carnegie used a large number of stories about ordinary people's continuous efforts to achieve success. Through speeches and books, he aroused the fighting spirit of countless people who were confused and ignorant, and inspired them to achieve brilliant success through small stories. His book "Human Weaknesses" published in 1936 has always been regarded by the Western world as one of the bibles of social skills. He founded the Carnegie Training Class in 1912 to teach people skills and concepts in interpersonal communication and stress management.

2. Reading of beautiful articles

"The secret of diplomacy is only 5 words: I want to like you."

"It's just that we put the order in order Wrong - we hope that others will like us first, but we have never thought about how to make others like us." - Carnegie Quotes

Of course, in order to get friendship and love, we must first understand "giving." "More blessed than receiving", and then express this knowledge with actual actions. We cannot just keep gold mines in our hearts. Gold must be used to show its value. As the Bible says: "You will know them by the fruits they bear."

I often hear many people complain: "I am too shy and it is difficult to attract others' attention", "No one is interested in me", "Others don't want to know me" and so on.

Yes, why should others like you? There is no obligation in this world to like you or me, or anyone else. Is there any particular reason why someone would choose you (either professionally or socially)? Unless we have the qualities they want, there is no need for them to pay special attention to you.

Marianne Anderson once vividly described her early life - at that time, her career failed, she was very frustrated, and she almost gave up her singing career. Later, with prayer and spiritual pursuit, she gradually regained her courage and confidence, and prepared to continue fighting for her career. One day she excitedly said to her mother: "I want to keep singing, I want everyone to like me! I want to continue to pursue perfection!"

My mother replied: "Very good, this It's a good ambition - but you know, Jesus came to this world in a perfect image, but there are still people who don't like him. Before people can achieve great things, they must first learn to be humble." Marianne was deeply moved after hearing this. , so I decided to "strive for" perfection in musical attainments instead of "want" perfection. "Humility precedes greatness", this is the best message her mother gave her!

The famous writer Homer Clovis is a good friend of mine and he knows how to make friends very well. Anyone who meets him, whether they are scavengers, millionaires, women, children or children, will develop a liking for him within 15 minutes of spending time with him. Why? He is neither young, handsome, nor a millionaire. What charm does he have that can attract people? Simply because he is not pretentious at all and makes others feel that he truly likes and cares about them.

A child would crawl into his lap, a friend's servant would prepare his meal with special attention, and, if someone announced: Homer Clovis will be here tonight! Then no one will be absent from the banquet that day. In addition to the deep affection between friends, Homer Clovis was also deeply loved by his family. His wife, daughter, and several grandchildren all spoke highly of him.

How did this writer win such happiness? It's simple to say - it's just about being sincere and loving others. To him, he doesn't care who the other person is or what he does. As long as he is a person, it means a lot to him and is worthy of care. Try to talk about each other every time.

By asking questions, he can find out where the other person is from, what he does, whether he has any family members, etc. He won't chatter all the time, he just expresses his interest and concern to the other person to build friendship.

With this method, even those who love to laugh at life will reveal their fragrance like flowers in the sun. As Ambassador Joseph Clark Gru said: "The secret of diplomacy is only five words: I want to like you."

The best way to get friendship is to focus on giving, and Not acquired - but earned by oneself, not by temporary attraction or coaxing. The so-called ability to win friendship does not mean hooking up with others, chatting with others, acting funny or telling funny jokes. It should refer to a state of mind, an attitude towards life, or a desire to dedicate one's love, interest, attention and spirit of service to others.

3. Reading and Appreciation

? The author believes that in interpersonal communication, if you want to get the effect of making friends you want, you should understand others down-to-earth, for example: understand What do others like to do? What do they do? Family situation, etc... Use topics that others are interested in to build the basis of friendship with them. This is what the author calls the wisdom of "I want to like you"! In life, we should not think that we have to wait for others to like us first before we can think of how to please others. Instead, you should chat with others in person about common topics.

In this book, the author discusses how we must learn to sincerely appreciate and praise others in our lives. Carnegie said: "There is only one way in the world to make others do anything - give them what they want." In your daily life journey, don't forget to leave a little warmth of praise and friendship for the world. Small sparks will ignite the fire of friendship.