There are real friends and fake friends, some are casual acquaintances, and some treat each other sincerely. The friend mentioned here is the true friend who can treat each other sincerely, a friend who can be relied on at critical times.
I used to be too young and too simple, and I didn’t understand the dangers of the world. I felt that there were still many good people in this world, and no matter how bad people were, they wouldn’t be that bad as long as they treated each other sincerely. But there are people in this world who always take it for granted that you have given everything, never understand gratitude, and never understand you from your perspective. This kind of person is an egoist who is always thinking about himself.
The purpose of throwing out this concept so early is to let you find a way in the vast sea of ??people to help you accurately locate which friends you can make and which ones you should avoid.
After reading for so many years, I have always looked at the world from the perspective of human nature, trying to discover the truth, goodness and beauty of the world, looking for the advantages of everyone, etc., but there is no book that teaches us How to deal with complicated human relationships. When a friend asks you whether to lend money or not, after borrowing money, you will find that some money will never be recovered, while some money can be recovered quickly. It is said that this is a good way to measure how many friends you have and the depth of your friendship. Although you will experience the cruelty of human nature, this is real human nature, otherwise there would be no thousand-year debate about whether humans are inherently good or inherently evil.
Making friends is a two-step process from starting from scratch to turning complexity into simplicity.
I didn’t understand what friends meant at first. I was in the first or second grade of elementary school at that time, and everyone was simple and innocent, keeping their joy and anger in words. There’s not so much mess, and you can chat happily with those around you.
Later, when I was in the fourth or fifth grade, I felt that the people in the class were dividing, and that was when they started to form groups. There are high and low grades, male and female genders, dirty words, some are funny and some are bad...
Faced with all kinds of differences, we look for people who have the same ideas as ourselves. …
Human beings are animals that are afraid of being alone. Take the initiative to find friends in the panic of loneliness.
The friends I first looked for were based on myself. Because I was familiar with myself, I found someone similar to me. Most of them have quiet personalities and pretty good grades. This was my original method of actively making friends in the beginning. Later, I discovered that everyone longed to have friends, and we spent two years happily. Later, one of them left and went back to his hometown, but we were still in contact with the other one. We were very happy every time we met.
Life cannot always be smooth sailing. Only by making friends and making bad friends can you grow.
My first bad friend made me no longer willing to associate with him because of his selfishness. He lent me 50 yuan in high school and never paid it back after graduation. Later, after graduating from college, I was working in Guangdong and he was working in Xinjiang. Suddenly, he called me just to borrow money. When I was in high school, he drank a bottle of drink every day. He couldn't control it even after several times. He also went to game arcades and Internet cafes on Sundays. He had so much fun eating, drinking and having fun. I had to tighten my belt and study! 50 yuan is just a week's pocket money for him, but it is a week's food expenses for me. This guy didn't even think about paying it back when he borrowed the money. Later, he went to Sanya, Hainan for his last three books, which made me think he was really a prodigal son. So later, when he asked me to borrow money from several provinces, I refused decisively.
This is a typical egoist. His parents brought him up with this virtue at their own fault.
The egoism of such people cannot become a big wave because of the weakness of their own magic. Those who engage in pyramid schemes, scammers, etc. use magic to make egoism form a black trend.
For example, I met a person on the Internet who named himself "Qian Jianbo". He advocated such a theory that everyone's original capital accumulation is inseparable from deceit and abduction. How many crowns are there? Alibaba also used dirty methods in its early days. But what people in this world care about is that they don’t care about the dark history of the past at all, they only care about the scenery in front of them. So when making money, you have to do whatever it takes. Your dreams and your beauty will wait until you have money. Only when you have capital can you realize your ambitions. Wait, wait...
During that time, I agreed with his point of view, because what he said was true, but I never contacted him to do projects with him, and I always felt that something was not right. Now, raising this issue to a philosophical level, there are two diametrically opposed worldviews of egoism and altruism.
True loneliness is not loneliness without friends. People often say "no one understands me", but it actually means that they can't find anyone with the same world view.
There are no two identical people in this world. Loneliness is the beginning of strength.
Altruism makes friends with altruism and egoism. Whether you are a friend or an enemy, you must first understand which side you are on. Even if I say so many bad things about altruism, it may be difficult to change your egoistic heart, so I will not suggest that you change it. I will completely Is it altruism? Of course not, I also have a selfish side, but my selfishness is to benefit more.
Some trade-offs must be made. Life is rarely smooth. When faced with multiple-choice questions in life, there is no golden mean between no choice or both. You only have one choice.
When you have made your choice, don’t argue or regret. Your choice is a realistic projection of your worldview.