1. The most important thing about being a human being is that it varies from person to person and knows how to advance and retreat.

Speak as little as possible. Before you get to know the other person, find out the other person’s habits, thoughts and preferences, and then Do what you like. In real life, some people are upright on the inside, some are smooth on the inside, some people are upright on the outside, and some people are smooth on the outside. From this perspective, the characters present four shapes: square inside and square outside, square inside and round outside, round inside and round outside, and round inside and square outside. "Sing whatever song you go to on any mountain." When interacting with people of different shapes, you need to use different communication methods.

1. Be honest and tactful with people who are both internal and external.

In daily interactions, some people are straightforward and angular, which makes them less likable. They are often too straightforward in nature, too true in love, too hot in blood, and too proud in spirit. They tend to be serious in life and leave no room for anything; they are too devoted in doing things and stand out too much; they are full of energy and inevitably show off; they are so talented that they forget to balance. If they insist that it is my fault, I will admit it and will never push it aside. If it is your fault, it is your fault, and you cannot ignore it even if you want to. People with this form are those who are internally and externally. Being consistent on the outside and being impartial to the world is a beautiful evaluation of these people. "Don't give up for five buckets of rice" is a songable allusion created by this kind of people. The loyal Qu Yuan and the upright and selfless Bao Zheng are typical representatives of this type of character. It would be unthinkable if there were a lack of such people in society, because they are air detergents and stumbling blocks to ugly behavior.

Be honest when dealing with people of this type. People who are on the inner side and on the outer side will not talk secretly, and will not betray others. They are trustworthy and respectable people, so they should be treated with sincerity, care and love. If you are falsely suspicious of them, they will often have strong resentment, and they will show this dissatisfaction on their faces, which will widen the psychological distance between you. Second, be tactful. People who are internal and external are inflexible in doing things and speaking incoherently, which often puts some people into embarrassing situations, so when interacting with them, be careful to be tactful. When you see people from both inside and outside without restraint, and when you criticize sharply, you should use an appropriate way to change the subject, or you should be silent, praise, and guide them skillfully. People on the inside and outside are pure-hearted, upright and selfless people. You should not care about them or get angry with them just because they have "stabbed" you before.

A great writer, both internal and external, received a letter from a young man when he was at the height of his power. The young man said that he wanted to co-write a novel with him. After reading this, the great writer felt a little angry. He wrote without reservation in his letter: "Sir, why are you so audacious? You actually want to hitch a noble horse and a humble donkey to the same cart." The young man had an idea and wrote at the beginning of the reply: "Dear Sir: Why do you praise me so highly and compare me to a horse?" In the second half of the letter, the young man described his writing expertise and potential. , the necessity and feasibility of cooperation and its impact on the growth of young people are written down in detail. After receiving the letter, the great writer burst out laughing and immediately wrote back: "My friend: You are very interesting. Please send the manuscript over. I will be happy to accept your suggestion." In this case, the young man misinterpreted the original meaning and With humor, sincerity and surprising success, he convinced great writers.

2. Be polite and courteous to people who are square on the inside and round on the outside

Being straight will hurt other people’s self-esteem, and being arrogant will put you in an embarrassing situation. Under the circumstances, when the square and straight approach cannot achieve satisfactory results, some people will adopt a tactful and flexible strategy. It is obviously correct, and one should insist on it without hesitation, but because the resistance to persistence is too great, one pretends to be deaf and dumb against one's will; it is obviously wrong, and one should refute it with confidence, but for the sake of one's own selfish interests, one suppresses and remains silent. These people would rather remain subdued than act masculine and arouse jealousy; they would weigh the pros and cons in everything and never act emotionally. These people are people who are square on the inside and round on the outside. They are self-sufficient, sophisticated, obedient, cautious, principled and flexible.

The ideas he gave Cao Zhi were all clever. Once, Cao Cao ordered brothers Cao Pi and Cao Zhi to go out to do business outside the gate of Yecheng. In advance, the guards were secretly ordered not to let him go. Yang Xiu guessed that Cao Cao must have this arrangement, so he told Cao Zhi in advance that if the guard refused to let the marquis out, the marquis had the king's orders and could kill him. As a result, Cao Zhi left the city, but Cao Pi did not. But Cao Cao's arrangement was a comprehensive inspection of the two brothers, not only to examine their talents, but also to examine their virtues. On the surface, Cao Zhi won the game, but it left Cao Cao with the impression that Cao Pi was kind and Cao Zhi was cruel. In fact, he lost. Yang Xiu knew the first, but didn't know the second. He didn't see far, so he was smart.

This kind of cleverness often causes him to shoot himself in the foot. Yang Xiu liked to guess Cao Cao's thoughts and often imagined many questions for Cao Zhi in advance and wrote down the answers. Whenever Cao Cao asked about something, he would send a copy of the appropriate answer prepared in advance, hoping to give Cao Cao the impression of "quick thinking". However, after going back and forth, Cao Cao became suspicious and thought that no matter how smart Cao Zhi was, he couldn't be so fast! Someone was sent to investigate and the reason was found out. From then on, he had an opinion about Cao Zhi, and even more disgusted with Yang Xiuze.

It’s a pity that Yang Xiu has no self-awareness at all and often has to show off his cleverness. As Cao Cao's chief secretary, he refused to sit in the office and always wanted to sneak out to play. But he was also afraid that Cao Cao would have questions to ask, so whenever he went out, he would guess Cao Cao's thoughts in advance, write down the answers in order, and instruct his attendants that if the Prime Minister issued an order, he would answer them one by one in this order. . I didn’t expect that people’s calculations are not as good as God’s calculations. A gust of wind blew and the order of the papers was completely messed up. The attendant answered in a confused order, so naturally the text was incorrect. Cao Cao was furious and called Yang Xiu for questioning. Yang Xiu didn't dare to hide anything, so he had to tell the truth. When Cao Cao saw Yang Xiu treating him like this, he was naturally very jealous. (For details, please see Yi Zhongtian's "The Record of People·Cao Cao·Several Murder Cases 3", which can be downloaded online)

Four. Be sincere to your friends (you should see clearly), and don't make trouble with others.

Four. Appropriate praise and no gossip

Standard work can easily make people boring. If you can add some "seasoning" to your life, I believe it will make your life more enjoyable. Work becomes more colorful, and relationships among colleagues become more harmonious. For example: a heartfelt compliment or a decent suggestion will make your colleagues feel that you value them, and of course, it will also invisibly increase their liking for you. However, what needs to be noted here is: do not praise blindly or excessively, as this can easily lead to the suspicion of flattery. Since we are talking about praise here, let’s also talk about taboos. In fact, it is not difficult to find in life: some people "like" to comment on colleagues (including work, clothing taste, personal habits, etc.). These are all manifestations of a person's immaturity. Because everyone has their own set of principles, as colleagues, we can only respect individual rights and privacy. If you go beyond your own identity, it is easy to arouse the resentment of your colleagues.

Of course, if you want to get closer to each other, you might as well participate in more meaningful activities with your colleagues in your free time. Discovering the other side of everyone in collective life is also a very good "lubricant"!

In fact, the relationship between colleagues is also a very subtle "chemical reaction". Maybe a small thing can make your relationship with him or her very good or very bad. The key is this "Spend". Therefore, as a professional, only through continuous experience accumulation and learning can we better grasp this "degree". (

Reference: It’s my honor to help you! Yang Junguo)

4. Be trustworthy (no one will make friends with people who have no credibility), be reasonable and respectful Everyone should be enthusiastic towards everyone, and don't speak ill of people behind their backs. When friends are in trouble, be proactive in helping them. If you can't help, be humble.