"Caigen Tan" said: "Be chivalrous when making friends, and be naive when being a person".
"Xia" refers to the process of making friends, emphasizing self-sacrifice, taking risks and difficulties for friends and enjoying happiness with everyone. "Su Xin" refers to the realm of self-cultivation, which is an unpretentious, pure and selfless spiritual realm.
However, why make friends with people who are "chivalrous" and "naive"?
This is the measure and discretion that friends should grasp when meeting. When getting along with friends, no matter what you do or say, you should pay attention to the word "degree", keep an invincible distance and keep endless relationships.
No matter how good the relationship is, no matter how deep the friendship is, we should also pay attention to keeping these three bottom lines and not easily crossing them.
0 1 money
Some people say that feelings are the best touchstone of feelings. Not only love, but friendship.
When a person lives in the world, it is inevitable that money will not turn around. I have no money in my hand, I can't see a doctor in time when I am sick, and I can't do what I should do. At this time, only my relatives and friends can help me.
But there is money between friends, and it is easy to make the relationship between them subtle. It is often said that friends should not talk about money. Talking about money hurts feelings easily. This is what I'm talking about.
A friend is willing to lend you money because he is capable and because he values your friendship. A friend doesn't want to lend you money. Maybe he is short of money, or maybe you haven't realized the weight in his heart.
And if you can borrow money, remember to pay it back in time when there is more money. No one's money falls from the sky, and no amount of money will feel tied.
If you take it for granted that your friends lend you money, you'd better change your mind. With this mentality, I'm afraid it's not good for others or myself.
No one in this world is obligated to lend you money, and it is also a mutual obligation for you to pay back the money. But once the relationship of borrowing money is established, some feelings cannot be repaid with money.
The late writer San Mao once said, don't have money with friends, and don't lend money to friends. If you lend money to others, just like Mr. Hu Shi, I will borrow it and don't come back.
This sentence is to remind you not to talk to friends as much as possible, because once some relationships break the boundaries, it is difficult to go on as usual.
When borrowing money, if you don't pay it back for a while, you will inevitably be embarrassed when you meet friends; And when you lend money to a friend, the other person doesn't mention anything about paying back the money, and you feel the same way.
Therefore, if you are not completely sure about the money exchange between friends, try to talk less.
Talk about
Language is an art, and it may also be the most deadly weapon. An angry word can hurt people's hearts, and a cruel word can kill people. So don't underestimate the influence of language.
Get along with people, you should speak seven points, too much.
Even the best friends are sometimes confused, leaving room for each other to get along. But some people like to take things very seriously, often blushing, and will definitely get ugly results.
But if you win the truth, you lose the heart. Because you are competitive, you will end up unhappy, and you may lose your friendship. In the end, there is only one truth left.
Friends get along, not to talk quickly, but to have a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere together. In this way, everyone can have fun and maintain a good relationship.
And people who like to argue too much often have few sincere friends.
San Mao said that between friends, language needs to be careful. Adults should step by step, spread more good words and don't speak ill words, which can promote the friendship between the two sides.
Don't talk nonsense just because you are friends. Say what you should and shouldn't say. In the end, I offended my friend and broke off diplomatic relations, which was not worth the loss.
"A Wonderful Story" Huang Zhizhong said that in the final analysis, nine times out of ten, the problem of life lies in interpersonal relationships. And the trouble of interpersonal relationship, in the final analysis, nine times out of ten is due to communication problems.
No matter how close the relationship is, if you always talk regardless of the occasion, you will often be indifferent, and eventually you will not leave your friends around. Although you may not have ulterior motives, you may ruin other people's affairs by saying nothing.
Getting along with people is not necessarily a good thing, but learning to shut up is not a bad thing.
03 distance
Living in this world, no matter parents, brothers, lovers, lovers or friends, we should understand that a moderate distance will make our relationship intimate and comfortable.
Going too close will often breed contradictions, and going too far will also make each other unfamiliar. And the distance is right, not far or near, in order to maintain a long-term relationship.
As the saying goes, distance produces beauty. Keeping a sense of distance refers to physical distance or psychological distance, not emotional distance.
Friends are actually like hedgehogs warming each other. Only a moderate distance can we live in harmony and not be stabbed by each other.
However, once some people get close to their friends, they begin to have various demands. If they are not satisfied, they will complain. This utilitarian friendship will only make people feel tired and want to escape.
San Mao said that between friends, ask for small things, accommodate human feelings and be reasonable. Asking too much and pushing your luck is the fastest shortcut to deliberately losing friends.
No matter how good the relationship is, you can't help but treat yourself as an outsider; No matter how good a friend is, he should keep a sense of proportion when getting along.
You know, the bottom line is the tacit understanding and taboo between friends, so don't cross it easily.
The relationship between friends, only by standing in their proper positions, can appreciate each other and get along well. Find the right way to get along, and friendship will last forever.
It is enough to have one or two true confidants in one's life. There's really no need for too much.
The happiness of friends lies in the real trust between them, and in the smoothness of things.
I hope you know how to keep these three bottom lines.
End.