Romantic socialization of men and women in ancient China

In feudal society, the abolition of legislation is full of danger. If he fails, he will be charged with "rebellion" and "insurrection", and his head will move. So at that time, although Huo Guang had great prestige in the DPRK, he also felt that he could not do it alone, and he had to find some helpers.

Who are these helpers looking for? Reasoning, Huo Guang thought of a person, this person's name is Yang, name is Chang, then prime minister, official title is Hou Anping. However, Huo Guang is a senior official with more than 10,000 people. It is not convenient to discuss the abolition of legislation with Yang Chang face to face, so he secretly sent his right-hand man, Tian Yannian, then an old farmer, to yangfu to lobby.

After arriving in yangfu, Tian Yannian told Huo Guang that he would abolish the legislation. Hearing this, Chang Yang was very nervous, "afraid of not knowing what to say". Tian Yannian got up and changed clothes on the pretext that things were going to be stiff. Yang Chang's wife is a wise woman. She saw that her husband had heard about the great event of abolition, and now he was ambiguous. I am afraid that there will be a catastrophe soon, and she is very scared. So she immediately persuaded Chang Yang, saying, "Abolishing legislation is a national event. Now General Huo Guang has sent an old farmer to tell you that this is of special significance. " "xianggong", if you hesitate and don't agree with the general, you will be the first to bear the brunt! "Yang Chang know Huo Guang temper, because he gave Huo Guang as a shogun. He thought there was some truth in what his wife said, but he didn't want to say it too early. Yang Chang's wife had no choice but to stand up for herself. "I will change clothes and return (to the office), open my wife, promise, and please follow the general's military orders" ("Biography of Yang Han")-discuss with Tian Yannian the way out and find a solution to the problem.

This time is still in the Spring and Autumn Period, and the etiquette system is still not perfect. So some people think that this historical data is not sufficient. Then, we might as well give a few more examples of the Han Dynasty.

As we know, in the Han Dynasty, after Shu ruled that it violated the etiquette rules, it can be said that everything was ready, but at this time, examples of men and women meeting each other were often seen in history books.

It is recorded in Hanshu that Liu He, the eighth emperor of the Western Han Dynasty, was defiant and bohemian. During his mourning for the former emperor, he was despised by Ah Fu, the then Hou of Brou. In order to prevent the inheritance created by Emperor Gaozu Liu Bang from being destroyed by a young playboy, Huo Guang decided to invite the Empress Dowager, abolish Liu He and set up a new owner.

Coincidentally, in Hanshu, Ban Gu also mentioned other stories of unmarried non-pro-men and women in the upper class.

"History of Zhou Han, Chang Chuan" wrote: "Those who learn from others will be rewarded by others. Often a strong person, dare to say and do. Because both Xiao and Cao are modest. I often taste music, hug and leave. Gao Di chased him, rode on his neck and asked, "Why am I the master?" Changyang said, "Lord of rebellion!" So I laughed it off, but I was particularly afraid of it. So I wanted to abolish the prince and make him a prince, but the ministers struggled hard and failed to do so. Changting is strong in order to stay in the future. When asked, he said that he was often eaten by people and was furious:' I can't talk, and I can't know in the future! Your majesty wants to abolish the prince, and I will not serve him! "Smile happily on the table, that is, stop. Lv Hou listened in the east wing, met Chang Xie and said, "Wei Jun, the prince is useless! "

Zhou Chang in the story is Liu Bang's hometown, famous for his daring to speak and remonstrate, and a minister who directly denies people. When he entered the palace, he met the emperor flirting with his beloved princess, which shows that the monarch and his subjects were not just talking in the world of pure men. His people knew that the emperor was molesting his concubine and queen, but they dared to let Zhou Chang into the palace, which showed that people at that time did not pay attention to the prevention of men and women. When Zhou Chang saw the emperor with Miracle, he left, not because he was afraid of meeting women, but because the emperor was infatuated with women. So when Liu asked himself what kind of emperor he was, Zhou Chang replied, "Lord of the unruly."

The most proud thing in Zhou Chang's political career is to prevent Liu Bang from abolishing the Prince. Liu Bang is a lecherous, and Lv Hou is his wife, but he deeply loves Miracle and her. Liu Ruyi, born in Miracle, looked particularly pleasing to the eye, and wanted to abolish Liu Yuxin, born in Lv Hou, and make him happy. It is understandable to abandon the long-term system, but because of Liu Bang's deliberate insistence, most opponents have to "retreat from difficulties." However, Zhou Chang refused to look at his face. He has a stuttering problem. He used his quick wits and came up with the famous saying "Don't worry about the future", which amused Liu Bang. Therefore, the matter of abolishing the prince was put on hold for the time being, and he was always worried about the fate of his son. Hiding behind the scenes and eavesdropping in high spirits, I saw Zhou when I left the DPRK and thanked him again and again.

The most shocking thing is another thing mentioned in Sima Qian's Historical Records.

Zhi Dou was a minister during the reign of Emperor Jing of Han Dynasty. On one occasion, Emperor Jingdi visited Shanglinyuan, which is located at the junction of Xi City and zhouzhi county, Shaanxi Province, covering an area of about 200 Li. Animals were kept in gardens for the emperor to shoot and hunt, and dozens of palaces, museums and pavilions were built. The great writer Sima Xiangru once wrote a book about Shanglinyu. Fortunately, there were not many followers this time, only Zhi Dou followed the emperor. Zhi Dou was a native of Dayang (now Pingludong, Shaanxi Province) in the eastern part of the Western Han Dynasty. Jingdi was then the prefect of Jinan, killing local strongmen and making meritorious deeds to promote his lieutenant (official name). He enforced the law strictly and was regarded as a "goshawk" by the nobles and Hou at that time.

Playing, Jingdi suddenly ordered Zhi Dou to call his beloved princess Jackie instead of him-Jackie was in the toilet at that time. Of course, Zhi Dou felt that it was inconvenient for Jia Ji to be called "Convenient" at this time, but Jingdi was very unhappy. Later generations said: "Ji Di was in a filthy land, which made people look at her with new eyes. Are they all frivolous? " However, Beijing did have such an idea at that time.

Han Heng, the father of Emperor Jing of Han Dynasty, once went there, accompanied by Yuan Ang. Yuan Ang was an angel, who served as Wu Xiang and Qi, and was a famous ranger at that time. He also promised himself chivalry. On this day, in addition to the queen, there is also a lady who is loved by the emperor. Therefore, regardless of etiquette, she sat side by side with the queen and was not at all uneasy. Yuan Ang suddenly heroism dry cloud, step forward, pull up his wife, push her behind the queen.

During the Western Han Dynasty, men and women had little defense. What about the Eastern Han Dynasty?

When it comes to the Eastern Han Dynasty, people often think of Dong Xuan, a "striking order". Dong Xuan used to be a servant of Luoyang Order, Princess Populus euphratica, and the sister of Emperor Guangwu, who deliberately killed people. When other officials heard that this was the princess's house, they all hid, but Dong Xuan killed the evil slave while the princess was out. This behavior of hitting the dog without looking at the owner annoyed the princess, and she sued Liu Xiu, Guangwu Emperor. If you want to be a peacemaker, you have to meet the princess and ask Dong to apologize to the princess and kowtow, but Dong will not kowtow anyway, thus losing the reputation of "injunction".

In this historical event, Dong Xuanke met the princess.

At the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, there was a famous woman writer and poet named Cai Yan. This woman is knowledgeable, eloquent and has a pleasant voice. Wei Wu, the newly-married Hedong Weizhong, returned to her mother. In the chaos at the end of the Han Dynasty, Cai Wenji was captured by Dong Zhuo, and later lived a life of "Fanbang" and married the Xiongnu Zuo Wang Xian. Cao Cao, who loves talents but cherishes talents, thinks of his old friends and redeems Cai Yan with gold and jade, so that she can remarry Dong Si. After Dong Si broke the law, Cai Wenji let loose her hair barefoot and went to the place where Cao Cao met a large room of people to intercede for her husband and saved his life. When Cao Cao heard this, he said to the guests present, "The daughter of an old friend is outside, now you can meet"-I introduced Ms. Cai to everyone, and I didn't avoid suspicion.

During the Three Kingdoms period, Xu Yun, the general of the northern town of Wei, was arrested by Sima Yi for colluding with Xia Houxuan, Li Feng and others. After Xu Yun was arrested, his favorite pupil hurriedly told Xu Yun's wife that Xu's wife sat by the loom after hearing the news and said, "I knew this would happen!" " "

In the Eastern Jin Dynasty, Geng You was arrested for something. Some of Geng's wives went barefoot to the general's office, which held the power of life and death at that time, to plead for her husband, but the doorman refused to let her in, and she had an argument with the doorman.

Princess Pingyang, the daughter of Tang Gaozu Tang Gaozu, is a famous commander-in-chief of women soldiers. At the end of Sui Dynasty, the Tang and Yuan Dynasties uprising, the princess lived in Chang 'an, and her husband Chai Shao left home to follow her father-in-law, leaving only the princess and some domestic slaves. The sinister situation inspired Princess Pingyang's great ambition. She fled to Huxian County, dispersed her wealth and recruited hundreds of young men. On this basis, she formed a female soldier team. It should be noted that the "female soldiers" mentioned by the ancients are not exactly the same as the "female soldiers" we talk about today. At that time, most people in women soldiers were men.

"Old Tang Book" said: "An Lushan was favored by the emperor for his border work. I became sworn brothers with my aunt, and my mother in Lushan was my concubine. When she comes to the DPRK, there will be a feast. " -An Lushan is a famous conference semifinals, "Zhu Yi" refers to sisters, "Fei" refers to himself, and "De" refers to him. Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty allowed An Lushan to associate with the sisters of the imperial concubine only because he made military contributions and "feasted" with the imperial concubine, which shows that the prevention of men and women in the Tang Dynasty was not very great.

After the Song Dynasty, especially after the Southern Song Dynasty, due to the prevalence of Neo-Confucianism, the prevention of men and women began to be strict.

Hu who died without medicine and Chen who came back from the dead.

Since the Ming Dynasty, the official history book "Biography of Martyrs" has added some unprecedented contents.

"Biography of the Martyrs in the Ming Dynasty" contains: "Hu, who will remember people, has the same word, and it is difficult to build a father to marry ... It is better to help his father return to China than to serve him. Hu nian is twenty-seven years old. After June, Ai Hu died, and he kept crying. Try your best to make up and treat the funeral. The sarcastic man cut his hair and lost his face. Being in the same room all day, I just can't see the same production. If you get sick late, your family will go to see a doctor and tell your father,' How can a widow's hand let others look at her? She will die without taking medicine, 5 1 year old.' "

Hu, who was included in the Biography of Woman, kept a festival for her dead husband and was obsessed with giving and receiving by men and women. At the age of 5 1, she was seriously ill and refused to ask a doctor for treatment. The reason was that the doctor was a man. At that time, the doctor wanted to touch the patient's hand (feel the pulse), so she died unexpectedly.

This kind of heroine among women did not exist before the Tang Dynasty.

Let's look at another example in the history of the Ming Dynasty.

"Biography of Heroes in the History of Ming Dynasty" contains: "Chen is from Anlu. Yi surnamed Li, widowed in his early years. One person. Those who returned to their father's house and sat in the small building for 30 years. On his deathbed, he said to the maid, "Be careful not to seduce me with men after I die!" " The family suddenly said what they said and asked the man to go upstairs to carry it. When he was exhausted, he sat up and said, "What did I say at first, but what brought me here?" The family collapsed in horror. "

This woman Chen has guarded the safety of men and women to the point of madness. Not only did she never meet any men before her death, but men were not allowed to go upstairs to carry her body after her death. This kind of behavior is not found in the history books before the Tang Dynasty.

Although Cheng Zhu's Neo-Confucianism was born in the Song Dynasty, the female Xia in the Biography of the Female Xia in Song History was not as crazy as after the Ming Dynasty.

Here is an example, readers may wish to compare it with the one contained in Ming History:

"Biography of Songshi Lienv": "The daughter of Korea, the word Ximeng." . Baling people are descendants of Prime Minister Qi. Less # # #, know how to read. In the year of Kai Qingyuan, Dayuanbing went to Yueyang, and the female age was nine times out of ten. They were plundered by their minions and will be introduced as their main commanders. If a woman knows, she will die in the water. The more three days, the better your health. In the practice of nepotism, there is a poem that says,' I am Hu Lian, and the ancestral temple is for apples and flies. Once the baby is in trouble, she loses her virginity. It is better to die for the blade of blood than to finish the banquet. There was Wang Meng in the Han Dynasty, but there was no Xie An in Jiangnan. The trombone goes to the torrent, destroying the heart and soul fiercely! ’"

Han died in the river, not because she fell into the hands of men, but because she was trapped in the "Hu Bing". Therefore, she lamented that "there was Wang Meng in the Han Dynasty and no gratitude in Jiangnan".

Let's look at another example in the history of the Ming Dynasty.

According to the Biography of Foreign History of Ming Dynasty, there was a woman named Chai in Xia County who was Sun Zhen's wife. In the winter of the fourth year of Chongzhen, a group of thieves approached Xia County, and Chai and her husband fled into the mountains together. Chai and her husband were unfortunately caught when bandits searched the mountain. Thieves and soldiers can't help getting angry when they see Chai's youth and beauty. A man stepped forward and squeezed her hand. Chai Shi, known as "strong-willed", immediately bit the meat pinched by this unknown man with his teeth and threw it away. Another thief pulled Chai Shi's arm again, and Chai Shi did the same thing and bit off the meat on his arm. He was hacked to death with a knife.

This cruel action of strictly guarding men and women is rare in the history books of the previous generation.

We might as well compare it with the history of the North during the Southern and Northern Dynasties.

According to "Lienv's Northern History", Wei Pu, the wife of Julu, is from Changshan, named Fang Zhan, and is the magistrate of your hometown. Young people have strong exercise. At the age of sixteen, Pu died of illness. Gu Yue said, "Death is not enough to hate, it hurts the mother's hometown to be poor, and the child is paralyzed. I hate it in Huang Er!" Fang cried and said to him, "fortunately, I inherited the teachings of my ancestors and the gentleman who had an accident!" Righteousness is to grow old together, where there is a will, there is a way, covering a lifetime. My wife is in the hall today, and I am a weak child. I am willing to feel less about myself! " Suddenly, he died. And cut off the left ear with a big Lian and Fang's knife and threw it into the coffin. Still the phrase "ghosts and gods know each other, full of spring soil!" Massive bleeding. Help mourners grieve. Gu Liu stopped crying and said, "Why is the bride here?" Yes, he said, "The bride and the boy are unfortunately widowed. I really feel that my parents have not measured their feelings, so I swear to myself! "

This "heroine" in the post-Yan era also cut herself, but the reason why she cut herself was not because a man touched her ear, but because she wanted to show her parents her determination not to marry again!

From the Han Dynasty to the Tang Dynasty, there were very few "fierce women" who self-mutilated their bodies (there were only two people in the legend of fierce women). Their purpose of self-mutilation was to show their determination not to marry. Unlike after the Ming Dynasty, when they met the opposite sex, like AIDS, they were "snakes bite their wrists and heroes break their arms".

Based on the above materials, it is not difficult to find that although some people (Mencius) put forward the slogan of "men and women are not close" as early as the Warring States period, until the Tang Dynasty, the boundary between men and women was not as strict as that of later generations. Empresses can meet courtiers (such as Lv Hou and Zhou Chang), colleagues' wives can talk with other men (such as Yang Chang's wife and Tian Yannian), the emperor can send ministers to the place where his beloved princess goes to the toilet to promote driving, and ministers can do the same. Emperor Guangwu called it "strict ceremony", but let his sister see the courtier. Cao Mengde is always strict, but she is willing to introduce her old friend's daughter to the male guests present. The teacher talks with the pupils, and the wife argues with the doorman. Princess Pingyang fought bravely, commanded domestic slaves and became a marshal of the three armed forces. As for An Lushan and Yang Guifei's sisters, they have frequent contacts and an ambiguous relationship, which has been heard in the drama. Such examples are called everywhere.

It was only after the Song Dynasty that men and women became "businessmen" in the sky and could not meet each other.

It should be noted that the ancient sages put forward that "men and women are not close" in order to correct the communication between men and women, rather than asking people to abide by it until death. Therefore, Meng said, "Sister-in-law is drowning, so help her"-Sister-in-law must reach out to save her from drowning. Therefore, Kong can condescend to meet his wife Nanzi to realize his political ideal of "Jun Jun, minister, father and son".

It's just that in the hands of later generations, in order to clean up the declining world trend, they overcorrected and read a good "classic" askew.

Today, we clarify the fact that the ancients did not always "give and receive, but not kiss". The purpose is not to find a theoretical basis for excessive communication between men and women, but to let everyone know that any etiquette system has a forming process. We can neither cherish the past nor the present, nor can we prove the past with the present. (Article from "Subversion of History" Author: Zhang Zhijun Press: Communication University of China Press)

Satisfied and looking forward to being adopted