It can be seen that a true confidant is too hard to find, too hard to find.
Because a true friend who really understands you will always provide you with the care you need most when you are in trouble. They are like another self, looking at each other and appreciating each other.
These have nothing to do with status and age distance. With one look and one action, he can read your hidden meanings and secrets. Therefore, when you have a bosom friend, it is equivalent to holding happiness in your arms.
So, in such a complicated society, how can we make real friends with * * * and avoid those who are maliciously hurt?
Today, I want to take this opportunity to share with you three ways to make friends with Mr. Nan, a master of Chinese studies. These three "secrets" can also be regarded as "good living methods" in the true sense.
It is of great guiding significance for us to know people and make good friends. If you know it thoroughly, good popularity will follow you everywhere. Don't believe it.
What is a true friend? To put it bluntly, in fact, it is necessary for us to learn "self-choice" in the process of choosing friends and distinguish between good friends and bad friends. Make more mentors and stay away from friends, which is the key to making friends.
Heather said, "There are three friends who have benefited and three friends who have lost. Friends are frank, friends forgive and friends listen more, which is beneficial. Friends will be broken, friends will be soft, friends will be destroyed, and friends will be damaged. " This sentence directly provides us with a reference standard to distinguish good friends from bad friends.
Definition: A straightforward, understanding and knowledgeable friend is a helpful friend. Friends are friends, friendly and soft, and friends are friends of profit and loss.
Let's analyze what heather said. First of all, what is "friends are straightforward, friends forgive, and friends listen more"?
The so-called "friendship" refers to straightforward and frank friends; "Friend forgiveness" refers to a generous friend; The third kind of "friends know more" refers to those who are knowledgeable and talented.
Heather listed these three kinds of people as helpful friends to individuals, so it is necessary to make friends widely, and the more the better.
Why do these three kinds of people deserve our deep friendship? The reason is not difficult to understand.
Being frank and open shows that the other party is not the kind of "smiling tiger" under siege and dares to point out the other party's faults. We don't need to be vigilant in dealing with such people.
Secondly, a person's generosity shows that such a person will not haggle over every ounce, put it down if he can, and endure it if he can. Getting along with such people not only makes people happy physically and mentally, but also learns a lot from each other.
There is a saying: "people are like sailing against the current, if they don't advance, they will retreat." When a knowledgeable and walking "knowledge base" appears around us, we must "yearn" for their wisdom and learn from each other's strengths.
In the face of such people, only by maintaining a respectful, modest and studious attitude and striving to maintain this "teacher-friend" relationship can we constantly improve ourselves and improve ourselves.
So what is "friendly and soft, friendly and friendly"?
"Make friends with friends" refers to people with eccentric personalities; "Friendly and soft" are people who are weak and have no opinions; The third "friendship is easy" refers to those who just talk and don't do practical things
These three kinds of people must avoid meeting in time. If you get involved and get too close, disaster will not be far away from you.
Strangers are difficult to serve. They are uncertain and no one can understand what they are thinking. Perhaps inadvertently angered them, and then it is difficult to guard against their malice.
People with weak personalities are not easy to make friends. This kind of person has no definite view of things and is prone to excessive dependence on others.
It doesn't matter to help him once or twice in life. But if you help them for a long time, not only can you not fundamentally solve their problems, but you will get yourself into unnecessary trouble and it will be difficult to get out.
If the "characteristics" of the first two are acceptable, then the glib hypocrite is even worse. Although these people are incompetent, they boast that they are first-class flatterers.
They are scheming and good at using all available people and things. They will try their best to flatter those who are beneficial to themselves, and they will resolutely abandon those who are unprofitable.
So in the face of such gangsters, we must draw a clear line in time, otherwise once we become the target of each other's tricks, it will be really difficult to repay you when trouble comes.
Heather said: "The foundation of making friends lies in friendship and virtue. The original intention of making friends with people must be from a moral point of view, not for status and interests. " If you make friends for personal gain, then this emotion built by interests is definitely unstable. Interests are in love, interests are exhausted, and feelings are scattered. "
Nowadays, when people look at the "true feelings" interpreted on the TV screen, they always feel:
Why did people have such strong feelings at that time? Why is it that people used to be lifelong friendships, but now the feelings between people are as loose as a plate of sand?
In fact, feelings are still the same feelings, but behind many feelings now, there is an impurity called "interest", so it is not as clear as people think.
Like getting married. Once upon a time, the information was underdeveloped and the transportation was inconvenient, but everyone's attitude towards feelings was so pure, and loving someone was a lifetime. Some people still have no regrets even if they have to wait for many years.
Nowadays, many people regard marriage as a pedal and a transaction. High bride price and dowry are more attractive than spending a lifetime with your lover.
What happiness is there in this mercenary marriage? Divorce may be the ultimate destination of this "funny marriage"
At this point, Heather Club hereby advises: "Friends are also friends, and their virtues are also friends." Making friends is to make friends for morality, not for status, not for employing people, so as to make a name for yourself.
The so-called "friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and friendship between villains is as sweet as honey". The "friendship between morality and morality" is actually a friendship that simply worships each other's noble character and respects each other's sense of justice, without any conditions or interests attached.
This friendship is from the heart, it may be as cold and tasteless as water, but it is worth brewing and will last longer.
On the other hand, if, like a small partner, everything is sweet from the perspective of interests, it will be cut off because it is too sweet and too greasy.
It must be understood that only those friendships that rely on morality and are truly like-minded are true friendships and true friends for life.
Shi Nan said: "It is not easy to know how to make friends, and the means to maintain sincere friendship is even more embarrassing, just as many people can't control the most comfortable distance between people." Far away, it is too alienated; If you are close, it will be too casual.
When two people are too familiar with each other, it is inevitable that they will dislike each other for a long time, but they will become strangers. So doesn't the old saying say,' The tiger is still around, but people are too familiar to get close'? "
So what is the most appropriate way to contact people? Heather gave the answer-"You can be close to each other, but you need to respect each other all your life".
It is terrible that people have no respect. If a person has no respect, it is difficult to control his behavior in the process of dealing with others.
Just like those people in reality who often swear, have no fun between friends, and always like to make fun of other people's thorns.
To put it mildly, this kind of "bad behavior" means that the two people have a good relationship, but the other person is generous and doesn't care. But the more you explain, the more you compare yourself to being "uneducated and rude".
Others don't care because they are generous, and you don't care because they are immoral. A person without the protection of virtue is bound to be spurned by others, even if he is prominent in front of others.
It's fine if the situation doesn't matter, but if your words and deeds touch other people's standards, then you must pay for your past mistakes.
Therefore, if you want to cherish the hard-won friendship, you must maintain respect. The highest state of respect is: "close and intimate, sparse and dense, combined but not * * *, same but different."
In the process of getting along respectfully, you need to divide the distance and pay attention to the sense of proportion. If you squeeze too tightly, you may not make the other party sing. Only by keeping a certain distance from each other can this relationship last. This is the function and benefit of "courtesy and respect".
Although "people can't be without groups", you must be careful when making friends. The correct way to make friends should be: "choose good and follow, avoid advantages and value righteousness, and stay at a respectful distance."
As long as we can keep the correct attitude of choosing friends, then after the test of time and practice, we will certainly be able to make like-minded mentors.
Author: Mr. Qianmian knows a thing or two
Know a little about family affairs, state affairs and the world; Worried about blx, clean up three or four.
People have thousands of faces, and everything has everything. The world under the tip of the iceberg is an undercurrent real world, and life needs to be seen through the eye of illusion.
Mr. Know a Little Thousand Faces takes you through the illusion of life and solves the puzzles of life every day.
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