The difference between Chinese and Western friendship:

1. Faced with the same situation, Chinese and Westerners each say this——

In interpersonal communication, the first The elements of an impression are:

The Chinese say: He is a good person!

Westerners say: He makes my eyes light up!

Analyzing the first item of the Chinese and Western "Descriptive Personality Dimensions" table, we can find that Chinese people value personal qualities, while Westerners value external performance. When talking about "this person", the first thing Westerners think of is the external performance of "this person": is he energetic? Are you enthusiastic? Are you talkative? ...The Chinese look at the inner cultivation and moral quality of "this person", and value judgment and moral judgment are the prerequisites for describing people. Chinese people care about "whether the person is a good person or a bad person," "a villain or a gentleman." Appearance is not very important. This is evident in Chinese people’s making friends and choosing spouses.

Application: If you deal with Westerners, you should know that Westerners attach great importance to the first impression you make on others. An outgoing, cheerful and energetic image can often leave a good impression on the other party. When interacting with people, such as doing business, such an impression can often make things much easier.

If Westerners want to make friends with Chinese people, it is very important to "see people's hearts over time". The Chinese want to see your excellent qualities, and they won’t believe the lies on your appearance!

2. In the maintenance of friendship:

The Chinese say: Those who are close to vermillion are red, and those who are close to ink are black.

Westerners say: Wherever he goes, there is laughter, and we all like him.

Comparing the second item of the Western "Personality Dimension Table" with the fourth item of the "Personality Dimension Table" of Chinese college students, we can find that the characteristics of Western interpersonal communication are directed toward others and are more reserved. Superficial and superficial things, such as being pleasant, contagious, etc. The interpersonal communication characteristics of Chinese young people are directly directed to personal qualities, which are intrinsic things, such as kindness and generosity, good heart, kindness, etc. The reason is that Chinese people live a relatively closed life and have a small circle of interpersonal communication, so they pay great attention to the quality of the partners they choose to communicate with. Westerners love to hold cocktail parties, where a large group of people gather together to have a laugh and chat about the weather.

The Chinese value a few close friends, a cup of tea, and heart-to-heart and in-depth communication. In fact, in order to find companions with similar personalities, Chinese people are more willing to make friends with those who have the same personality. For example, "like-minded people" and "people form groups" show that Chinese people tend to stay with similar individuals and eventually form groups. Because the two concepts of interpersonal relationships are different, it is often heard that some Chinese students often appear to be very withdrawn and unsociable when they go abroad. They always want to be friends with people of good character and are not used to general interactions with the people around them.

Application: Nowadays, the circle of interpersonal communication among Chinese young people is constantly expanding. If we only pay attention to inner things and not the superficial form, interpersonal communication will also cause difficulties. In interpersonal communication, you must not only look at the other person's heart, but also the shallow things on the surface cannot be ignored. This is a very important cultivation content for young students before entering society.

3. Why don’t Westerners’ friend circles have strong similarities in personality?

Many Western cultures are individualistic cultures that emphasize independence. Individuals tend to regard themselves as unique and different. Even in close relationships such as marriage and love relationships and parent-child relationships, the emphasis is still on It's personality.

If a person has the same attitude towards doing things as others, both parties may feel good and have similar temperaments; but if they have the same personality, they may not have a good feeling, and few people will be completely satisfied with themselves. , if the other party completely shows his shortcomings, he may not feel very comfortable.

4. The collectivistic culture makes Eastern people prefer to choose people who are similar to themselves to make friends.

Relatively speaking, most Eastern cultures are collectivist in nature. One of the most important characteristics of collectivist cultures is their emphasis on interpersonal communication. People have strong incentives to strive to be consistent with others. Others, especially important people, are highly positive components of the complete self. Orientals also seem to be in a particularly advantageous position when it comes to understanding other people's personalities, because the interpersonal connectivity emphasized by Eastern culture makes them more prominent in interpersonal sensitivity.