Socialization refers to the communication between people in society, and it is a social activity in which people use certain means (tools) to transmit information and exchange ideas in order to achieve a certain goal. Socialization itself is a kind of ability, as important as efficient communication, and it is one of the important means of survival that we must have as social people. People's social attributes determine that as long as you don't choose to live in seclusion, you can't escape from socializing in this world, and with the development of economy and society and the great convenience of transportation and communication, people's communication becomes more frequent and convenient.

China people like to take "many friends" and "depend on parents at home and friends when going out" as the standard. They think that the more friends, the better, and the more friends are a sign of success. The more friends you have, the better you get along with. The more powerful your friends are, the more successful you will be. For them, it is superficial to regard the number of friends as the standard of their success in life. This kind of behavior is essentially ineffective social interaction.

Ineffective socialization means that social activities can't bring any pleasure and progress to your spirit, feelings, work and life. For example, when you go to a dinner party, you greet everyone present, smile and say hello, say a series of polite words, toast each other, scan WeChat and leave a phone number, but after a few days, neither of you can remember who the other person is. 20 18 A very popular joke on the Internet vividly illustrates the ineffectiveness of social interaction: you cut wood, he herded sheep, you chatted with him all day, and you are going to break up. His sheep are full. Where's your firewood?

Stay away from ineffective social interaction because people's memory capacity and emotional capacity are certain, and the relationship that everyone can maintain is always limited. A person's memory capacity is limited, and there is no room for infinite people and things in his brain. For example, the friends he met while pushing a cup for a change, two glasses of wine on the wine table, whispering and calling friends, are all good friends. How many people can keep a memory of ten days and a half months when they wake up the next day? Besides, our mood is full. Think of the people you know who can get food and drinks from the refrigerator when they come to your house. Who can remember your birthday every year? They contact each other every three days. You will find that there are not many such people. It is your relatives, family and friends who often meet or have economic ties or care about each other. Because to be friends, we should not only invest time, but also pay a lot of feelings, and our time and feelings are limited, so our hearts are so big. The more people we share, the less everyone gets. Just like diluted ink, the closest person, that is, 10- 15, is hard to maintain far more than this number. Actually, think about it On the surface, social networks have greatly expanded our social circle, but how many of our hundreds of friends on WeChat and in the phone book can immediately think of who they are when they see their avatars and phone numbers? How many people praise each other, comment on each other and often call? How many people can you talk to in a year? Asking for help will help you soon. How many friends are there? In a paragraph of Heat 20 18, there is a sentence like this: "There are many friends, why not try to borrow 500,000?" So we should optimize the social circle and don't invite too many people into our lives.

Stay away from ineffective social activities because our time is limited. The Paradox of Choice mentions a theory: "If a person has too many choices, when you make one choice and give up another, you will feel uneasy and painful, which is the impact of opportunity cost". Opportunity cost means that in order to make a choice, you need to give up another option and the possible benefits of this option. When you can not only read books, but also play games, the opportunity to play games can obviously bring greater immediate benefits, but this is low-level. Each of us has a limited life, and each of us has 24 hours a day. You choose to socialize widely and give up doing more meaningful things. According to Maslow's theory, human beings have five needs: physiological needs, security needs, social needs, dignity needs and self-realization needs. The first two are the lowest physiological needs, the pursuit of pleasure and satiety, and the latter two can meet the advanced needs of people as advanced animals with thoughts and ideals. The time wasted by ineffective social interaction is like a train leaving at high speed, but we are unconscious like sleeping passengers in the carriage. Once we wake up, we have missed a lot of things and even missed our stop.

Because of the nature of our work, we stay away from ineffective social interaction. The more friends, the better. Just meet your needs. Some people naturally need to be active in the social field, such as commercial enterprises engaged in business, reporters' interviews, selling insurance, political activists and so on. Their work and career need them to make friends and weave complex social networks; Some people just need three or two friends, regular colleagues and a little work cooperation. Such as civil servants in various law enforcement and discipline departments. Imagine a traffic policeman who is on duty every day. Every driver is his friend. How can he enforce the law fairly? A law enforcer who is responsible for investigating, discovering and eliminating potential safety hazards, if the objects being inspected and managed are his friends and acquaintances, how can he rectify with a heart of stone? For another example, for the police and auxiliary police who are responsible for guarding and supervising detainees, ensuring prison security is their bottom line and lifeline. It is a legal duty to treat every criminal suspect fairly, to ensure that his legitimate rights and interests are not infringed and the litigation activities are carried out smoothly. There are strict norms and procedures for detention, arraignment, medical treatment, monitoring, inspection and discipline. How can we be kind to our relatives and friends and take special care of them? Eating and drinking, hooking up with relatives and friends of criminal suspects, and even tipping off the news and passing items privately, isn't that sending yourself to prison? Therefore, we must resolutely reverse this concept of making friends, associate with society indiscriminately, purify our circle of friends, put an end to this invalid social interaction that may make us violate the law and discipline, and prevent us from being tempted to seek novelty and not falling into the trap on our own initiative.

To stay away from ineffective social interaction, we need to get rid of social relations. Friendship takes time and affection to maintain. Breaking up means no longer catering to everyone, no longer trying to satisfy everyone, and no longer clinging to every relationship. It is to give up those people we don't like in our hearts, treat the people who are dispensable in life with fate, and then take seriously those important people, those who you really care about and those who are really tempted, distinguish friends and relatives as much as possible, and maintain a simple relationship circle, so that we will not be so tired.

Stay away from ineffective social interaction, and you can use your limited time reasonably and efficiently. Everyone cherishes his life, but many people don't cherish time. Time is the most affectionate. Everyone's day is 24 hours, which is very fair. Seize every minute and time will show its due value. Time is also the most ruthless, as long as you dare to waste time, time will waste your life. Time is also the most annoying. If you dare to squander it, it will dare to waste you. Time flows away like a river, leaving no waves. A lazy youth, a lousy age. You know, when you were young, you were wasting your time. When you get old, you need more freedom to make up for it. The struggle in youth can also bring freedom in other periods of life.

Stay away from ineffective social interaction and enrich your life. Barbara, an American sociologist, pointed out: "The lower the level, the more people like to seek happiness by consumption, such as drinking, gambling, watching movies and playing games." The higher the level, the more people like to create happiness in complementary ways, such as reading, learning, sports and artistic creation. Garbage happiness is like fast food, simple and delicious, but eating it for a long time will drag down the body; High-quality happiness is like green food. It may not be delicious, but it can give you real nutrition and help you grow better. "So, we should learn to subtract from our circle of friends, lighten our positions, eliminate expired dreams and fantasies, willingly move into our ivory tower, read more books and exercise more, and incubate our remaining dreams. Reading should be the best way to enrich the spirit and the best investment that needs to last for a lifetime. Reading a good book is like facing a friend who has known each other for many years. We can read care from warm words, enjoy the eternal spirit from the brilliance of human nature, and bathe friendship on the road of growth. That kind of happiness and happiness can make us moved and excited.

To stay away from ineffective social interaction means to stay away from people who are not beneficial to our lives, people who like to sow discord, influential people, people who regard you as an "emotional trash can" and energetic people. Instead, we should identify and invite real friends into our lives. A man knows his companion in a long journey and an inn. When you are proud, your friends know you; When the road is difficult, you get to know your friends again; When something happens, you know who is sincere; I didn't know who was the most reliable until I was short of money. Don't boast that you have many friends. Friends are awesome. What can really help you at a critical moment is the truest friend screened out by time. Ji Bolun once said, "People who laughed with you may forget you, but those who cried with you will never forget." True friendship is that we can go on together, rain or shine.

The most terrible thing in life is not mediocrity, but not working hard and comforting yourself. We should learn to choose, because there is no regret medicine in life, and you can't go back and choose again. If you choose not to force yourself, your future life will force you; The more trouble you have in the first half of your life, the more trouble you have in the second half, and you can't get rid of it. Therefore, we must stay away from ineffective social interaction, neatly eliminate all things that do not belong to a good life, and simplify life into the most basic form, simple, simple, and simple. Clean and simple life, a cup of tea, a square table, a quiet, unassuming, kitsch, living a different free life, endless fun.