First, how to start
The key to talking with strangers is to find similarities. So, how to find the similarities?
1. Observe carefully
A person's mood, mental state and living habits can be seen from his clothes, manners and conversation. Before starting a conversation, first look at what the other person has in common with himself. For example, he wears a pair of Nike air-cushion sneakers like you, and you can start your conversation with Nike shoes as the topic.
2. Test with words
Two strangers are relatively speechless. In order to break the silence, we should first speak, and we can talk to ourselves, for example, "It's too hot". When the other person hears this sentence, he may take the initiative to answer and continue the conversation. You can also start with an action and help the other party to do something, such as pushing down the suitcase; You can also find the characteristics of the other person's accent and open up the situation of open communication. For example, listen to the other person's Shanghai accent and say, "Are you from Shanghai?" . This topic can be expanded.
3. After talking, the next step is how to carry on the conversation. On formal occasions, there are the following taboos: don't talk about salary, bank deposits and other money-related issues. With the increasing commercialization of China society. Wages are no longer the same as in the past. Everyone's wage level is unified, and how much money others earn can be inferred from their own wages. So I asked, "How much do you earn?" It is very impolite behavior.
Don't ask questions like "Are you married?" Or "How old is the child?"
The custom of men marrying women in contemporary society is changing. Some people choose celibacy, and some families are made up of homosexuals. There are also many single-parent families. Personal marriage and sex life are usually considered to be extremely private. Topics involving privacy will lead to the failure of the conversation.
Pay attention to your eyes
There is nothing more embarrassing than when you talk to him and he looks around. Some people look around while talking; And some people look around when they are obedient. Both of these people lack the basic sense of responsibility, that is, to be a good and attentive listener. When you speak to anyone, keep an eye on him or her, not tightly, but all the time, so that your interlocutor will understand that you are not distracted.
never look around the room when others are talking to you. Even if you are listening, don't act bored and interested in what is happening around you. If your audience does this, you can stop and watch with him, as if you were curious about the wonders he found. If he asks you what you are doing, you can say, "Oh, I'm interested in what you are looking at." Then continue the conversation, and he will understand the hint.
Third, don't be a great dictator
There are such things and people everywhere around us, and I hope we are not one of them.
It's a good idea to pay attention to what you are talking about, for example, whether you are a domineering person, a dictatorial person, a opinionated person, and a person who doesn't give others a chance to express different opinions. Or pay attention to whether anyone wants to leave while listening to you, or seems to be looking around in despair to find a shortest way to escape.
One of the definitions of annoying people is "When you want to tell him about yourself, he only talks about himself." Another annoying person is more accurately described as a person who insists on telling things you don't want to hear at all. He or she insists that you hear the last, although you have obviously shown impatience.
these are part of your personality and are deeply rooted, so it is impossible to get rid of them. If you find yourself dictatorial in conversation, just keep your mouth shut and listen carefully in the next conversation, no matter what you have to say. If you are afraid that you will be boring, try to read newspapers or magazines and find an interesting topic to study, such as environmental protection, which must be everyone's concern. Your rich knowledge will not only make you join the conversation, but also convey interesting information.
If someone repeats a story that you have heard at least twice, it is no problem to say, "Oh, yes, I remember how you made everyone fall behind when that person fell. You must have saved his life. " Then change the subject. If you are a member of the conversation and someone is repeating a story, you can leave quietly, or if someone notices, you can say, "Oh, I know this. Sorry, I'll be right back. " Then leave.
In short, to be brave and good at speaking is the first step and stepping stone to making friends. After entering, your generosity, your freedom and your humor will conquer more people; At that time, the necessary dictatorship may make you a leader and become the center around everyone.
Speak more, treat everyone as your pious and silly audience, and go on chattering!