It is natural to have friends, and friends travel all over the world. No matter how close they are, no matter how deep or shallow their friendship is, no matter how long or short they spend together, they are all the people who accompany each of us except our relatives in our life journey.
From childhood to adulthood, the period of making friends is also from childhood to adulthood. There are many kinds of friends. One is just a playmate and can be regarded as a friend. Ordinary friends are mostly academic friends, chess friends, piano friends, painting friends, food friends, even friends with the same hobbies, similar interests or tastes, and even friends with similar interests or emotional ties arising from academic, sports, art, business, humanities, politics and other exchanges. A deeper true friend is a bosom friend, a bosom friend, a bosom friend, a bosom friend, a bosom friend, a "friend of life and death" and a "friend of neck and neck", which can be met but not sought. Mr. Lu Xun said that "it is enough to have a bosom friend in life" is such a sigh.
In one's life, it is essential to make friends. Everyone has his worries, happiness, sadness or thoughts, experiences and feelings to talk about or communicate, and sometimes he needs help from others. Therefore, it is necessary to make friends. Only when this person can trust and associate can he be called a friend.
Zhuangzi Waipian Sam said: "A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and a friendship between villains is as sweet as water. Gentlemen are indifferent to their relatives, villains are willing to give up, and people who are together for no reason will leave for no reason. " What is said is: the communication between gentlemen is as cold as water, and the communication between villains is as sweet as honey. Give up: refers to the relationship between villains is too sweet and often cut off. The communication between gentlemen is relatively dull, but they are honest with each other; The communication between villains is all sweet talk, and there is no integrity at all. Although the communication between gentlemen is dull, they will help you like relatives when you are in trouble. Although the communication between villains is sweet, they will break up with you when you need help.
Friends should support each other, encourage each other and make progress together. Don't connive, connive or cover up mistakes. Confucius said, "The winner has three friends, but the loser has three friends. Friends are frank, friends forgive and friends listen more, which is beneficial. Friends will be broken, friends will be soft, friends will be destroyed, and friends will be damaged. " There are three kinds of beneficial friends and three kinds of harmful friends. It is beneficial to make honest friends, honest friends and knowledgeable friends. It is harmful to make friends with flatterers, with people who flatter on the surface and slander people behind their backs, and with people who are good at rhetoric. "That is the equality and mutual tolerance between intersections, knowing each other without seeking, and there is no direct or indirect purpose.
In real life, many people keep their mouths shut as friends. At one end of the glass, they swear that when the glass is touched, it doesn't matter whether it is important or not. In fact, how many benefits are behind it? There are still many people who, to put it mildly, do anything for their friends and speak out bravely. In fact, it is precisely because of the chain relationship in today's society that one person gets the word and the chicken and dog ascend to heaven. Is to cater to each other one day. To put it bluntly, it is the prevailing nepotism, aiming at greater returns. In fact, it is only a master-slave relationship, and it is a transaction between businessmen.
"Friend" was originally a sacred title. Later, with the development of society, the word "friend" has also been painted with many colors, such as fair-weather friends, intimate friends, friends in need, friends between life and death, friends who forget to make friends, friends who make bad friends and so on. People who seem to come and go are friends, but their weight in everyone's heart is different. In fact, many of these statements are the abuse of the name of friend, or the general use of the name of friend, but they are not friends at all.
In some people's eyes, friends are used to talk. Communicate with each other, talk to each other, and walk through the long journey of life with the voice of spiritual comfort and care.
In some people's eyes, friends are used to help. Repay human feelings, help each other, and complete your own life course in the process of helping a fence with three piles.
In some people's eyes, friends are for heart-to-heart. Life is precious, but friendship is even more priceless. In the cycle of caring and nourishing, we entered a state of perfection and beauty.
In some people's eyes, friends are for use. Friends are traitors and interests are shared. In the operation of wooing and selling, they realize their wishes one by one.
In some people's eyes, friends are used for recreation. Eat, drink and be merry, relieve depression, and revel in the dream of mutual praise in the shouts of promotion.
In some people's eyes, friends are for show. Three religions and nine streams are all-encompassing, indulging in their own fantasy in the self-deception of friends all over the world.
In some people's eyes, friends are used to harm others. Ask others to do things you don't want to do, and achieve your ulterior motives in the process of reward, punishment, flattery and abuse.
In some people's eyes, friends are for fun. Boyfriends and girlfriends, whether emotionally or sexually, seek excitement and pleasure in the game of half-pushing.
In some people's eyes, friends are used to address others. They don't take their friends seriously and don't agree with each other. Under the guise that a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, friends are not taken seriously.
In some people's eyes, friends are used to ...
In short, in the eyes of modern people, friends are divided into three or six categories. Although everyone admits that "there are many friends", it is also possible that there is an extra pit.
Therefore, taking friends as a kind of spiritual possession, we don't want to be a burden to our friends, nor do we want our friends to be a burden to ourselves. When the fate comes, we will get together, and when the fate is over, we will leave. The term "friend" seems to be closer to a more reasonable and long-term evaluation. A friend's friendship is as light as water, as clear and transparent as water, and water is like a knife. Maybe this friendship can last forever!
"All men are brothers within the four seas" means that no matter how far they are geographically or by blood, they can become friends. Friends are the expansion of brothers' feelings, but friends are more important to people than brothers. Brothers have no choice, but friends are free to choose. Because of free choice, different people, different environments, different values and different lifestyles have different friendships.
Traditional scholars attach importance to learning, value recognition and spiritual temperament in making friends, which can be called "the turn of Confucianism and Taoism" Confucius said, "It is all right to learn from time to time. It is such a delight to have friends coming so far. It is not good to be a gentleman if you don't know! " This sentence is about three interrelated things: study, making friends and self-cultivation. The word "Peng" is two pieces of "meat", a student who came to Confucius to study, a bundle or a gift. Zheng Xuan noticed that "friends at the same school are friends and comrades-in-arms are friends", so "friends come from afar" refers to people who study at the same school, and "comrades-in-arms are friends" refers to people with similar interests who can be called friends. Liu Yuxi's "Humble Room Inscription": "There is a great scholar in laughter, but there is no Ding Bai in communication", which reflects the traditional literati's understanding of "friends". Even if the material is poor, the living room is humble and the level is low, but "I am humble, virtuous and sincere", this spirit of being poor without changing and making friends at random reflects the spiritual nobility's emphasis on their own cultivation. "Not associating with Ding Bai" is not self-isolation, but a reflection of traditional literati's contempt for the exchange of material and political interests and their pursuit of spiritual freedom.
The bigger the ambition, the harder it is to find gay friends. Climb high and look far, or go to the countryside to feel homesick, and feel extremely sad, or forget wine, love and shame. A scholar, a poet, can be regarded as calling friends, cherishing things and painting poems. Fan Zhongyan's "The Story of Yueyang Tower" expresses his feelings with "the benevolent people of the ancient times": "I don't like things, I don't feel sorry for myself, I live in a temple and worry about my people; If you stay away from the Jianghu, you will worry about your husband. Also worried about progress, but also worried about retreat; But when will you be happy? It must be said: worry about the world first, and then enjoy the world! " Such a man with lofty ideals can only be entrusted to the ancients, which is rare in the world. Therefore, it is difficult for Fan Zhongyan to make friends, and he can't help but sigh: "Wes, whose family are we!"
Talking about high and low is music and friendship. There is a friend named "bosom friend", and Yu Boya thanked the bosom friend for breaking the piano. Yu Boya was a famous pianist of Chu in the Spring and Autumn Period, while Zhong Ziqi was an ordinary woodcutter. I wonder if he can play the piano. Yu Boya plays the piano, but Zhong Ziqi understands the meaning of piano and knows that he is determined to play in the mountains and rivers. After the death of chef hippo, Boya stopped playing the piano for life. There is no actual communication between the two, and there are not many "scholars talking and laughing". Only music is the medium of their communication. At the turn of Confucianism, we still rely on knowledge exchange and language communication, while bosom friends choose heart communication; At the turn of Confucianism, there are still differences in knowledge and class, while "bosom friend" transcends all differences in class, occupation, gender and other realistic conditions and reaches the realm of tacit understanding. A bosom friend not only refers to the tacit understanding with the help of music, but also refers to the tacit understanding that transcends all practical obstacles and does not need to say too much. "Tacit" is not what we usually call "understanding". Zhong Ziqi may not fully understand Yu Boya's thoughts and ambitions, but he has only one likeness to Qin Yi. There are the least conditions for finding a bosom friend, but it is also the hardest to find, otherwise Yu Boya will not stop playing the piano all his life. A bosom friend is often just a moment of understanding, a moment of spiritual harmony, which can be met but not sought.
A friend who understands each other is called a "bosom friend". A bosom friend focuses on understanding, and a bosom friend focuses on understanding. Wang Bo's poem "However, China holds our friendship, and heaven is still our neighbor" means that despite the vast waters of Qian Shan, the friendship between bosom friends is eternal. In Biography of Historical Records of Lv Zhonglian and Zou Yang, Zou Yang was framed and wrote a letter to Liang Xiaowang in prison. Among them, the proverb "the bald head is as good as new, and the cover is as good as ever" is quoted. The meaning of this sentence is that the two sides don't know each other, even if they have been in contact for a lifetime, their hair will be white, just like when they first met; Knowing each other truly, even for the first time, will be like old friends. It can be seen that between bosom friends, it is neither distance nor time. Like-minded, like-minded, and the world is near; Contrary to their own interests, the mind is separated, so far away. A bosom friend is hard to find, but a bosom friend is hard to find. It is enough to have a bosom friend in life.
Not all the people in Vanity Fair are greedy. In ancient times, there was a "friendship with Bao", which meant making friends, so we should understand and be tolerant. The tube is Guan Zhong (Guan Yiwu) and the bag is a bag. Biography of Yan Guan in Historical Records: "Guan Zhong is a foreigner and a hero. I often travel with Bao Shu's teeth, and Bao Shu knows his talent. Guan Zhong was poor and often bullied Uncle Bao, but Uncle Bao finally satisfied him well and didn't take it for granted. Bao Shu worked for the son of Qi, and Guan Zhong worked for Gong Zijiu. Xiao Bai made Huan Gong, the son died for a long time, and Guan Zhong was imprisoned. Uncle Bao then went into Guanzhong. Guan Zhong used it. He managed Qi, Qi Huangong and the nine kings to unite to conquer the world. Guan Zhongzhi's plan is also ". Guan Zhong was born in a poor family. He used to do business with Bao. When sharing profits, Guan Zhong often gives himself more. Bao Shu Ya doesn't care, because he knows that Guan Zhong is not greedy, but poor. Later, Bao was promoted, and Guan Zhong became Bao's subordinate. Bao did not discriminate against Guan Zhong because of this, thinking that there were advantages and disadvantages. Guan Zhong was dismissed from office three times. Bao doesn't think Guan Zhong is incompetent, but he is unlucky. Guan Zhong fled after three defeats. Bao doesn't think Guan Zhong is timid, but because he has an old mother at home. Gong Zijiu was defeated by Bao with the help of Guan Zhong. Guan Zhong was imprisoned and dragged out an ignoble existence. Bao is not ashamed of Guan Zhong. Understanding Guan Zhong is ashamed of not being famous in the world. On Bao's recommendation, Guan Zhong was appointed Prime Minister, ranking above others. It can be said that Qi Huan seeks hegemony and Guan Zhongmou seeks it; Guan Zhong's success is the strength of Bao Shu. Guan Zhong also lamented: "My parents gave birth to me, and Baozi knew me."
Since we are friends, there will always be some form of reciprocity. The most common and unbearable thing is the so-called "fair-weather friend". This kind of friend is despised because there is no deep friendship except drinking and eating meat together. Once you change tables and have new friends, you can betray old friends. On the contrary, "a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water" means that the friendship between gentlemen is not based on empathy, mutual understanding and respect, and exchanges may not be frequent, nor do they rely on banquets, material gifts, mutual flattery and exchange of interests.
Some friends have no actual communication, but they know each other and admire each other. This is the so-called "spiritual friendship". Virtuous people have friends all over the world, relying on prestige. But traditionally, the fame of celebrities is mostly known by literati, or officials are famous for their power and achievements. In the 2 1 century, it is not difficult to become a world celebrity. The Internet provides ordinary people with long-distance opportunities for mutual understanding, help, enjoyment and communication. The understanding and affection between book lovers who have never met on the Internet are often better than colleagues, neighbors or acquaintances who have known each other for decades.
At the turn of Confucianism, a poem, a song or an article can become friends who respect each other; An outlaw, a bowl of wine becomes a lifelong friendship; And "bosom friend" sometimes only depends on one song. However, the friendship between Confucian scholars often despises the friendship between heroes as "fair-weather friends", while the friendship between heroes who put loyalty and righteousness first hates the sour communication between literati and poets. People in the real world often regard netizens as virtual illusions, while people who make friends with words look down on snobbery and vulgarity in the real world. But no matter what class, status, and frequent contact, you can find friends who suit you.
There is only one kind of person who will never have friends, and that is careless and heartless. Comrades can be friends, so can friends of Confucian scholars. In fact, they can be friends without being comrades. But no matter what kind of friends, they need two basic conditions: one is intentional, and the other is affectionate. A learned person, even a talented person, is a love story if he can't be intimate; If ruthless, it is just a cunning person; Greenwood friends, big bowls of wine and meat, needless to say, can be intimate, friendship becomes friendship; Online friends come and go without a trace. Only with your heart can you perceive each other and bind each other with affection. Careless and heartless, it is futile to waste time in an illusory world. With heart and affection, everyone can become a potential friend even in the barren hills and deserts. The Internet has partially turned these potential friends into visible and perceptible friends. Unintentional and heartless, even if there is a night of laughter and laughter, all you have is potential nothingness.
A person will meet many people in his life, knowing, understanding, falling in love, appreciating, appreciating and so on. And will become friends and good friends in an instant because of one of these elements or just one sentence or one thing.
With the passage of time, many friends are drifting away, their backs are blurred, and even the farewell waves disappear from our long-staring wet eyes.
No friends will be with us forever. Friends, like passers-by we meet in the journey of life, walk a journey together and go their separate ways when we reach the crossroads. Then, we meet a friend who can accompany us, move on, say goodbye at the crossroads again, wave and turn away. No matter how reluctant and nostalgic we are, such a scene is like a blooming flower, which belongs to the inevitable law of nature and the inevitable law of human communication.
When a person leaves, he can meet his peers, share similar interests and accompany each other. This is a blessing, a fate, but I can't meet them.
In fact, if you think about it carefully, many friends can be classified as guides you meet in your life. Such people appear at several critical moments in our lives, just like life jackets floating in our hands when drowning, ropes hanging down in front of our eyes when falling off a cliff, bright lights in the dark, and a bowl of rice porridge when hungry, all of which will change our fate or give us the strength to survive and move forward. Some of these people are like a flash in the pan, others will be classified as bland, and a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water. But at the critical moment, the gifts they gave us will accompany us for the rest of our lives, so that we can remember and be grateful. "The grace of dripping water will be rewarded when the spring comes." When they need it, we will reach out without thinking.
More is from acquaintance to acquaintance, coming for no reason, going for no reason.
Some people think that the more friends, the better, and the more friends, the easier it is. Some people think that friends are more valuable than essence, and having a bosom friend is enough.
It is best not to involve interests between friends, or they will become passers-by in an instant. That's why friends don't do business together. Give your friends whatever they want, and if you push your luck, you deliberately want to lose your friends.
Are there pure friends between the sexes? Yes This is not difficult to do, but it is difficult to last. The reason why it is difficult to last is not people, but that both spouses are difficult to understand.
From acquaintance to becoming friends, the most intimate time period is between one year and three years. Then it will drift away and even disappear. One is the inevitable disappearance of passion, and the other is the shortcomings and self-interest exposed to each other after being too close. People who can endure can continue to maintain it, but the intimacy has been greatly reduced, or the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, or it has become as indispensable as family ties in life. These people are our first choice when we are in trouble and need help and talk.
My friend left, sad and crying. But think about it, both husband and wife are divorced, not to mention friends.
Time is a good medicine and time is also a killer.
Three years is a hurdle, a hurdle of friendship and a hurdle of marriage. In the past, there was a flat road, which was difficult to cross and even could not find the way back.
No matter what kind of friends they are, they will be treasured by us in the photo album of memory like yellow old photos, and will be clearly highlighted in our minds because of something or an object. He and her voice and smile will stand in front of us vividly, and everything in the past will be clearly displayed at that moment. Suddenly I understand that all friends will never disappear in our hearts, they will exist with our memory.
Our life has never been our own, but is closely linked with these friends, and the lack of a link will break the chain of our life. We are also a part of their lives, and we live in their memories.
A thousand people have a thousand people's views on friends. I always believe that it is enough to have a confidant in life.
Confucianism talks about the so-called five relationships between people, namely, monarch, father and son, brother, husband and wife and friends. In modern society, there are probably five kinds of interpersonal relationships, but the relationship between monarch and minister seems to have disappeared. But today's relationship between superiors and subordinates, the relationship between bosses and employees, and the relationship between leaders and the masses is generally an evolution of the relationship between monarch and minister in ancient times. Of course, the content is quite different.
A person lives in society, that is, in the network between people. Dealing with the five relations is a necessary condition for happiness in life. The unhappiness and even tragedy in life often comes from the relationship between the five ethics. The order of the five-LUN arrangement is the old arrangement, which has its own old reason. It seems that we can reconsider the arrangement today, and the last one that should be valued most is friendship. Maybe the importance of the five relationships is different for everyone. Some people think it is most important to handle the relationship between superiors and subordinates, some people think it is most important to handle the relationship with parents, some people think it is most important to handle the relationship with spouses, and some people think it is most important to handle the relationship with brothers and sisters. Everyone has his own situation and situation, there is no need to be the same.
Why is friendship the most important? Because only friends in the five relationships are selected by personal will and likes and dislikes, and this relationship can be adjusted and terminated at any time by personal will and likes and dislikes. This is not the case with other ethics, such as the relationship between superiors and subordinates. What kind of bosses and subordinates you meet is not entirely up to you, and the relationship is not good. You may not be able to get rid of them if you want to. The hateful boss has to put up with it, whether it's swallowing or pandering, it's a cowardly thing, and there will be work problems if he resigns. When you meet annoying subordinates, you can't get rid of them, especially in public institutions. That subordinate may still have a lot of connections, so you can't offend him casually. Another example is father-son relationship. Of course, you can't choose what kind of father you have, and what kind of son you have is by no means kind. The relationship between father and son depends to a great extent on luck, and a good relationship is of course a blessing, but it is not uncommon for the friendship between father and son to be as light as water now, especially after the children get married. In the past, there was no freedom of choice in the relationship between husband and wife, but now they can choose freely, but there are also many people who are careful when choosing, and as a result, they become bad karma couples. Divorce is not as easy as marriage. Property, children, relatives and friends are constantly in chaos, making it difficult to retreat into the valley. Not to mention the relationship between brothers and sisters. It used to be said that people are connected in spirit, but now the society is not a society where generations live together. Once brothers and sisters get married, they go their separate ways. They can also come and go during the Chinese New Year holiday, and it is not bad to live far away and make a phone call.
Friends are different. Who to make friends with, the depth of friendship, the density of communication, or interrupt, or continue, all depend on me. Like-minded people are often closer than estranged fathers and sons. Moreover, the acquaintance of friends is often fighting for an ideal or a cause, so they are not only like-minded, but also often have interests. They encourage each other when frustrated, support each other when embarrassed, and drink Huanglong when successful. And in case you find that the person you handed over is not a human, you can break off diplomatic relations immediately without going through any formalities. Success in life often benefits from having a few or a group of good friends, and happiness in life often comes from one or two confidants or a group of good friends. Friends made in childhood and youth, the so-called "friends of the general angle" and "friends of the cloth" of the ancients, were given to feelings before they made a fortune, which has nothing to do with interests and is worth cherishing.
One of the most important principles of making friends is to keep your promise. Confucius said, "Make friends and keep your word." Ceng Zi, a disciple of Confucius, said he should reflect on himself every day. One of them is "Don't trust friends?" A person who breaks his word can't make friends, because no one wants to make friends with such a person. "Faithfulness is close to righteousness", a person who keeps his word must be a principled, loyal and trustworthy person. Such friends are the pillar of crisis and the wealth of life.
Good friends don't necessarily have the same personality, talent, occupation, social status, age and gender, but they must have the same smell. The most important thing is that they have the same value orientation in life. They understand and appreciate each other. Among them, all aspects are in line with the so-called confidant. A true confidant is hard to meet, maybe not for a lifetime. The predecessors lamented: "How many people can know each other?" If life can meet a true confidant, even if there is only one, it can be satisfied. Lu Xun gave Qu Qiubai a pair of couplets and said, "It is enough to have a bosom friend in life, and the world should treat each other with the same heart."
To make friends, we should distinguish between good friends and bad friends, which Confucius reminded us long ago, but I think this premise is still our own. What kind of people will choose what kind of friends, and not only you choose people, but also people choose you. So in the end, like-minded people will always come together. Good people will have good friends, and bad people will have bad friends. The so-called "birds of a feather flock together, people are divided into groups." Good people harm friends, and bad people are unlikely to benefit friends. It is not surprising that different circles of friends are often seen in society. Most people in one circle are enterprising and have their own achievements, while most people in another circle are sinking and have their own misdeeds.
Some friends don't know each other well, and suddenly they come like hot air, especially warm and familiar. But when you have really treated them, they have disappeared like a whirlwind, let alone contacted by WeChat, as if they didn't know each other, giving you a blow or throwing cold water, which made you unprepared and psychologically collapsed. It's a little hot for three minutes. It's really embarrassing.
Some friends seem to be influenced by it, and what they say seems to be somewhat inconsistent with what they do, and they don't know when they became more and more strange. To show their tolerance and kindness, they were so surprised. The last time you were uncomfortable, you didn't attract the attention and words of such friends, which means that you are really unimportant in your heart, just for something, just like they once said. Knowing this, I believe you can get out of the strange circle of friends.
Some people say: What is love? Two souls and one body. What is friendship? Two bodies and one soul. It does make sense.
A true friend is not someone who compliments you in front of you every day, someone who just wants something from you instead of giving it, someone who plays tricks behind your back, but someone who stands up when you need help most. Maybe he has no money, status or rights, but he will always care about you, worry about you first, and then enjoy it for you. This is a true friend.