This is what I found on the Internet. You should understand it after reading it:

Aristotle said that the essence of life lies in the pursuit of happiness, and the ways to make life happy are Two: first, find the time that makes you happy and increase it; second, find the time that makes you unhappy and reduce it. How nice it sounds, but you will find that what he said is the same as what he didn't say. Who doesn't know to look for happy times, but the question is where is the happiness? Who doesn't know to avoid unhappy times, the question is that unhappy things are like Like a mad dog, it is always chasing us and we cannot escape. A big-name figure is a visionary. He reveals that the essence of life is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. Execution ability, which is often talked about in today’s society, is the ability to get things done. How to get things done? You must mobilize and integrate your own and other people's resources and create opportunities. This is actually leadership, and leadership is influence. Therefore, a sunny mentality is the source of influence and the basis of execution. We must turn a good thought into action. A small person like me must turn the thought of a big-name person into my action.

Now I will introduce some tools and share them with you to see if they can achieve the effect of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages.

The first tool: change your attitude.

If we can’t change things, we can change our attitude towards the matter. The harm a person suffers from what happened is not as serious as his view on the matter. The thing itself is not important, what is important is the person's attitude towards the matter. When attitudes change, things change. During the Cultural Revolution, a large number of bastard, rich, counter-revolutionary and bad elements were created. After the Cultural Revolution, these people became good people again as soon as they were rehabilitated. When attitudes change, bad people become good people. Things are not good or bad, the key is our attitude towards them. Although ants are small, they can destroy the embankment. If a person changes his view of things, things will change.

There is an idiom called "A blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise." The English version goes like this: In the ancient East, there was a wise man who lost one of his horses. Unlucky, the wise man replied, I don’t know whether it is good or bad. Soon the lost horse came back leading a wild horse. The neighbor said, you are so lucky. You have an extra horse. The wise man replied, I don’t know whether it is good or bad. The son was riding a wild horse, fell off the horse, and broke his leg. The neighbor said, "You are so unlucky. You only have a son with a broken leg." The wise man replied, "I don't know whether it is good or bad." After a while, the emperor During the conscription, young men with intact arms and legs were killed on the battlefield. The sons of wise men were unable to fight because their legs were broken, and those who were not conscripted were still alive. The story ends here, we can continue to reason. The neighbor said, you are so lucky that your son is still alive. The wise man replied, I don’t know whether it is good or bad. The son is married, and the neighbor said, you are so good. The son with a broken leg is still alive. After finding a wife, the wise man replied, I don’t know whether it is good or bad. So from a large-scale time perspective, we don’t know whether anything is good or bad. There are no good things or bad things, just things. If you think like this, people will become more relaxed and calm.

There are two female classmates A and B at Zhejiang University who are good friends. After graduating from university, they stayed at the school to work as teachers. They were lucky enough to have two sons each. A's two sons are very successful, and they both got admitted to study in the United States. B's two sons are not, and they both became "brothers." Who do you think A or B is proud of? People envy A and say you are so good. Both sons have been admitted to study in the United States. But unfortunately, A did not feel happy. Instead, B's two sons drove to visit their mother every holiday and picked her up to play. They took good care of everything big and small, and B lived a very happy life. A is very envious of B, so he doesn’t know whether it is good or bad. Maybe you say, it doesn't matter, A can just immigrate to the United States and enjoy family happiness. Let me tell you, I don’t know whether it is good or bad. If you transplant an old tree to another place, it will not survive at all.

A has adapted to the social and ecological system of Hangzhou, but after arriving in the United States, she is not accustomed to the climate, has a language barrier, has no friends, and is lonely. She cannot simply breathe some air every day and say nothing. Wouldn’t she become an underground rat? Hangzhou It is the best place in the world for people to live. Why are you immigrating to the United States? Where is the West Lake in the United States? There is a lake that no one looks at. Why do you look at it when no one looks at it? You can't be stupid in front of the water every day, right? I don’t know if it’s bad! If we can’t change things, we have to change our attitude towards them.

There was a very beautiful lady who finally married a man after a long process of selection. Unexpectedly, she was abandoned by the man two years later. What was even more unfortunate was that the child also died. The lady lost all hope and prepared to commit suicide. She chose to jump into the sea and got on an old man's boat. The boat sailed into the sea and she was ready to jump off. Please tell me, how can this old man communicate with the lady so that the lady does not jump into the sea? Someone answered like this, the old man said, do you think I can do it? I don’t have a wife yet. This means that the lady must jump down. The old man can say this, girl, what were you like two years ago? The lady proudly said, two years ago I was a single nobleman, and there were many people pursuing me. I was neither burdened by my husband nor troubled by children. Now I am miserable. I have neither a husband nor children. The old man said, aren't the two the same? Two years ago you didn't have a husband, and you don't have a husband now; you didn't have a child two years ago, and you don't have a child now. You are just as beautiful as you were two years ago. What's wrong with you? Start all over again. The old man's words made the lady laugh. The lady didn't want to jump into the sea and start all over again. There is a song called "Start Over Again". Start over again and pretend that nothing happened. There was a female boss in the MBA class at Tsinghua University who was divorced in her 30s and was very beautiful. During the lecture, a nerve in her brain twitched and she developed a crush on a male teacher in his 40s. After class, she said to the male teacher, "Do you have any divorced men in their 40s at Tsinghua University? Please introduce them to my friends." My friend looks exactly like me. He was also divorced in his 30s and works as a CEO in a private company. The male teacher was very moved when he heard this and said, do you think I can do it? If I can, I will divorce her. The lady answered seriously, "It's too troublesome. We want a ready-made one." Just kidding.

When you change your attitude, you have passion, and when you have passion, you have the will to work hard, and the results will change. There is a classic case like this: a child was chatting with a sailor. The child asked the sailor, the sea is so scary, how can you dare to go to the sea? The sailor said that the sea is also very beautiful sometimes. The child asked, where did your grandfather die? The sailor said, my grandfather died at sea. The child asked, where did your father die? The sailor said, my father also died at sea. The child then said, "How dare you go to the sea?" The sailor asked the child, "Where did your grandfather die?" The child said, "My grandfather died in bed." The sailor asked, where did your father die? The child said, my father also died in bed. The sailor asked, "Then why do you dare to go to bed? If others fall into the sea, you may not fall into the sea, and if others have problems, you may not have problems." If you rise up, you will overcome difficulties and the results will change.

If you are sad in your heart, your destiny will also be sad. Your mentality determines your destiny. Let’s talk about a classic Chinese case. In ancient times, two scholars, A and B, were rushing to take the exam. They encountered a coffin on the way. Person A said, "It's really unlucky to meet the coffin. This exam is doomed." Person B said, "Coffin, I will get promoted and make a fortune. It seems that my luck has come, and I will definitely pass the exam this time." When they answered the questions, their efforts were different, and B passed the exam. After returning home, they all said to their wives, which coffin is really magical. Mentality affects people's abilities, and abilities affect people's destiny. The quality of life depends on your daily mentality. If you can ensure that you are in a good mood now, you can ensure that you will be in a good mood today. If you can ensure that you are in a good mood every day, you will have a very good quality of life, which cannot be experienced by others. of beautiful life.

The second tool: learn to enjoy the process.

Enjoy the process and make every day wonderful. Life is a process, not a result. If you don't enjoy the process, everyone knows what the result will be.

Some parents are afraid that if their child falls or touches someone, and the child can't speak when meeting someone, then don't talk, and mom will do it for you; if the child can't do things, then don't do it, and dad will do it for you. When a child reaches the age of more than 30 years old, he cannot speak to people or do things. His parents are anxious and scold them when they see them. Why are you not like us? This is the result of the training of the children. If you see someone who can't speak, if you don't let him speak, then he will never be able to speak. If he can't do something well, if you don't let him do it, you will deprive him of the opportunity to learn. If the leader is too strong and has done everything, the abilities of his subordinates will be poor. This means that there is no grass growing under the big tree.

Learn to experience the process. Some people find the most annoying places to experience it. There will always be a dark side in this world. When a ray of sunshine shines down from the sky, there are always places that it cannot reach. If you only stare at the darkness and complain about the darkness of the world, that is your own choice. I teach two courses at Tsinghua University, one is "Leadership Strategy" and the other is "Leadership". The topic I am talking about today belongs to the category of leadership. To create leadership, we must first create personal influence. I proposed to cultivate a sunny mentality, emotional intelligence and influence. If you can listen to the theory I am going to impart to you today and understand it, your life span will be increased by at least two years. Due to the cruel pressure of competition in modern society, people's hearts have become "wolf-hearted" and carnal hearts have become "iron-hearted." This theory can turn "wolf-hearted" and "iron-hearted" into "benevolent hearts" and create family happiness. , team harmony. Do you know what last place elimination is? It's the rules of the forest. Animals run desperately to protect themselves, leaving the slowest one to the wolf, and the wolf eats it. If the rules of the forest are applied to people, won't their hearts become "wolf-hearted"? Everyone is desperately trying to expand their market share. While the cake remains unchanged, they are taking other people's meals for themselves. Competition has penetrated into people's bones, causing them trouble and worsening their mentality.

Competition is cruel, people have to be happy, and we live in the cracks of contradictions. Some people will say, Teacher Wu, you gave us some conflicting views. Yes, they are contradictory. Precisely because the views are contradictory, you can use the contradictions I teach to deal with other contradictions. This knowledge is called smart learning. The way to resolve conflicts is not to use your own spear to pierce your own shield. My shield is used to deal with other people's spears, and my spear is used to deal with other people's shields. If you buy my spear to pierce my shield, I will change the shield. Isn’t that enough?

The third tool: live in the moment.

The English word for living in the present is Live in the present. The true meaning of living in the present moment comes from Zen. Zen masters know what it means to live in the present moment. Someone asked a Zen master, what is living in the present? The Zen master replied, eating is eating, sleeping is sleeping. This is called living in the present.

I ask you now, what is the most important thing to you? When is the most important time? Who is the most important person? Some people will say that the most important thing is to get promoted and make a fortune. When buying a house or a car, the most important people are parents, lovers, and children, and the most important times are college entrance examinations, weddings, and defenses. Let me tell you, these are none of these. The most important thing is what you are doing now, the most important person is the person you are doing things with now, and the most important time is now. This view is called living in the present. It It is directly operable.

A man was chased by a tiger. He ran as fast as he could and accidentally fell off a cliff. With his quick eyes and hands, he grabbed a rattan and hung his body in the air. He looked up, and the tiger was staring at him from above; he looked down, and the abyss was waiting for him; he looked in the middle, and suddenly found a ripe strawberry next to the cane. Now this person has four options: going up, going down, hanging in the air, and eating strawberries. What do you think he is doing? (Answer: Eating strawberries), yes, he eats strawberries. This is called taking a bite before dying, and taking a handful before retreating. , 58-year-old phenomenon. The mentality of eating strawberries is to live in the present moment. The only thing you can control now is that strawberry, so eat it. Some people say that he is going to die soon, so why eat? Isn’t he not dead yet? Opportunities appear in the dynamic, maybe the tiger is gone, and he can still climb up. If you ask this question to a child in kindergarten, the child will definitely answer without hesitation, eat strawberries.

If you want to apologize to someone, call and apologize right away tonight; if you like someone, call right away and explain what you mean. I have a classmate in my dormitory at university who is from Shandong. He is a very handsome young man, six years younger than me and taller than me. We play ball and drink together every day and eat together on weekends. We have a good relationship. When I was a teacher at Tsinghua University, he was studying for a PhD at the University of Science and Technology Beijing. I wanted to treat him to a meal, but I was always busy and had no time. Later, he was admitted as a postdoctoral fellow in the Ministry of Aeronautics and Astronautics and undertook a large-scale project on the Daqing Oilfield. Daqing sent two drivers to drive him from Beijing to Daqing on a starry night. When he arrived in Zhaodong County, Harbin, at dawn, the driver took a nap. , the car was about to rear-end the truck in front, the driver suddenly turned the wheel, and my classmate was thrown out and died. After I learned the news, it was very painful. I thought why not treat him to a meal earlier? I still owe my doctoral supervisor a meal. My doctoral supervisor’s daughter is in Japan. The old man treats us doctoral students every weekend. Eat and treat them like your own children. I didn't expect that all these doctoral students were supercilious. I thought that after I graduated, I would treat them to a meal. I have been busy since graduation. Finally one day, I received a call from a classmate saying that my doctoral supervisor had pancreatic cancer and was admitted to Beijing Cancer Hospital. I immediately went to see him and said that I would treat you to a meal after you are discharged from the hospital. The old man said he couldn't go out to eat for fear of getting infected. Not long after, the old man was hospitalized for the second time and died soon after. Later I thought, you have to hurry up if you want to invite someone to dinner. Old people will get sick, young people will get into car accidents, and you can’t figure out who will die at what time. You have to seize the moment and live in the present.