After a child is born, it is like a blank sheet of paper. All the patterns are drawn by parents one by one. So is interpersonal skills. So, how can parents teach their children the basic skills of interpersonal relationship-
Start with the basics
Lerner Tua, a child psychologist, said that we should start with the most common basics and teach children to say hello, please, thank you and respond. In other words, we should start from the most basic. Children often imitate the social habits and ways they see. Among them, what they learn most is the habit and way of parents receiving visitors at home, so parents should always pay attention to their social ways. It is normal that children are impatient to listen to their parents and like to interrupt their parents and let them share their views. When talking to children, parents should take turns to talk, listen to him more and preach less.
How to speak?
The dining table is a good place for parents and children to communicate. Parents should try to talk about some casual topics, such as "What do we want to do this weekend?" If the child has no suggestions, you can make suggestions. However, it is best to let the child speak his mind, and don't put him in the position of a bystander or an echo.
Theresa Fogg, a doctor of mental health in Singapore, said: "Jokes will ignite children's interest in speaking and make them free. In short, children should be allowed to talk about anything they like, which is to encourage their creativity and oral expression. " You can also talk to your children more about your feelings. Children often want to express their feelings in conversation, and parents should always tell their children their true feelings.
Overcome shyness
Never underestimate children's shyness, which is a huge obstacle for them to make friends. Research shows that about 1 1- 15% of children tend to be too shy.
Very serious parents often make shy children more timid and stutter. At this time, if parents forcibly correct it, the child's stuttering will intensify. Parents' constant nagging or using high-handed means to correct their children will only make him more afraid. In fact, any threatening behavior, such as scolding, satire, sarcasm or nagging, will not only not help the child at all, but will make him shrink back even more and turn him from shyness into a serious psychological obstacle.
Protecting a shy child is not defending him. Some parents often answer questions for their children in front of doctors. Dr. Lu Li Fang, a Singaporean therapist, said: "At any time, parents should not intervene."
How to overcome children's shyness? Parents take their children to social places step by step, which can help him solve the problem of timidity. For example, a mother can take her daughter to a meeting or a park, introduce her to other children, and suggest that her daughter show her toys to each other.
It can also let children relax among their peers. Let some people she knows first, or invite some people she can trust-friendly neighbors, helpful uncles, especially friends' children, and let them approach your children slowly. In short, parents should create more opportunities for their children.
The interaction between children will completely change their shy temperament.
Let the children play a role.
If you want to take part in the piano performance, your child may start practicing a few weeks in advance, which will enhance your self-confidence. However, many parents neglect to give their children practical opportunities to participate in large-scale invitational competitions. They don't know that such an opportunity will be deeply rooted in the children's minds.
It is important to give children a chance to play a role. Experts say that such an opportunity, like any key on the piano, will play a wonderful sound. If your child wants to attend an activity, such as a wedding, parents should tell him the general procedure of the wedding and its "plot" and allow the child to go by himself.
Dress and clothing should not be ignored. Dr. Lu Lifang said: "Clothing is very important. If his clothes are untidy, other children will notice and even talk about it. This will affect children's confidence. " There is also a very important note. Ma-Laudis Kalandan, a child psychologist in Manila, specially reminded that when teaching children how to communicate, they should not change their basic personality, nor should they deliberately pursue their excellent social skills. If he has only one or two unrestrained friends, that's fine. It is important for children to communicate well with their friends.