1. The key is not what to say, but how to say it.

different people, different situations and different tone of voice feel different when saying the same sentence. Like this. You can read this line now. It's weird, right? That's because you're not in a sad mood. This is why many people have recited my lines or movie lines, but it has no effect. It is useless to copy literally. The point is not what to say, but how to say it. This is not a method or a move, but an internal skill.

2 .Cold reading

Cold reading is literally called "cold reading". Girls hate the question of checking accounts. How old are you? Where are you from? What's your name? It's a pity that most people still only know this superficial chat mode. If you can read cold, you won't have this problem. Cold means unprepared, while reading means mindreading and preoccupying. cold reading means to see through other people's minds when they are unprepared, even when they meet for the first time, so as to communicate with others better, and is often used by psychologists in psychotherapy.

For example, "Have you studied abroad?" This is an ordinary question.

cold reading means: "You must have studied abroad."

Another example: "What do you think of your personality?"

If I am not mistaken, your popularity must be good. This is obvious. In the first example, if it is an ordinary conversation, the other party will definitely answer: yes/no.

But with cold reading, the other person may have many answers, such as: How do you know? /No, why do you say that? /Do you know which country I am in?

In the second example, if it is an ordinary conversation, the other party will probably answer: Er. . . I don't know what to say. /I think my personality is ok.

But the way of cold reading is different: Ah! How do you know! /No, actually, I don't have many friends. Perhaps you have discovered that you must use declarative sentences in cold reading. Moreover, cold reading is a guess. Since it is a guess, it will be inaccurate. But this does not mean that cold reading fails. Cold reading is not to make you completely guess each other's information, but to let them open their hearts and give you more information on their own initiative. Of course, you can't guess at random. But through the other person's clothes, conversation, topic content and all other information to make your guess more accurate. Give a few more examples: for example, how old are you? ——24—— Nothing more. If I am not mistaken, you must be 24 years old.

-how do you know?

-well, to tell the truth, I was told.

-who told you that?

-balabala ... Look again:-You must often go to Xinjiekou.

-why do you say that?

-because I often see girls of your style there.

-which one am I?

-balabala .. A liar is not an "expert in cheating", but an "expert in winning the trust of others"!

How do fake fortune tellers or fake psychics cheat people? According to common sense, no one should believe what a suspicious person who just met for the first time said. However, why do some people easily believe those stories that are suspicious in any way?

This is because liars always tell the truth at first to gain your trust, and then they start to cheat you. If this person's words are full of loopholes at first, anyone will be vigilant. However, because the liar is telling the truth at the beginning, it will gradually make people feel that what this person said can be believed. The same is true of investment fraud, even if it is only a small profit, it will definitely make you make money at the beginning. Because you do have a profit recovery, you will naturally be wary, trust each other, and take out more money to continue investing. Wait until you invest a lot of money, the other party will knock you hard and then run away with the money.

in a word, the philosophy of a liar is: win trust first, and then start cheating. The more you can make the other person trust, the more you can cheat. As long as you can convince the other party that you are trustworthy, no matter how poor the following fraud skills are, you can easily fool the other party. Therefore, compared with the skill of cheating, a clever liar actually spends more energy thinking about "the technology of winning trust."

come to think of it carefully, whether it's running business or receiving customers, whether it's love or education, doesn't any form of communication start with winning the trust of the other party? From the point of view of winning the technology of prenatal and postnatal care, cold reading, used by swindlers such as fake fortune tellers or fake psychics, really has a lot to learn from.

3. keyword association method (parallel cutting on the upper pile).

here is the same meaning as @ anzhi said. Through the limited content given by the other party. To start a new topic. For example, "I usually stay at home and watch movies or something." (movies)

"What movies do you usually watch?" /"People who like watching movies are usually very emotional. It seems that you are the same. " Another example: a girl said: I don't like that bar. I got drunk in it with a group of friends on my last birthday.

ok, think about it. where can you contact to develop the topic? Too many!

1, the bar I don't like, why

2, the craziest birthday party I have ever experienced

3, the last time I drank too much

4, and the story that happened afterwards.

there are many examples in @ anzhi's answer. I'm just a lazy thief. But I'd like to add a practice method of this method here:

First of all, the scene:

Anything can be selected from the scene around you. The next step is reappearance:

In the face of what you see, remember, it is best to imagine the same or similar items and search in your memory. For example, when I see a bench now, I immediately think of the granite bench at home when I was young.

Then think about why this similar item appears in your memory. It must appear in your memory for a specific reason.

Let's recall what impressed you deeply, and reconstruct the picture and world view at that time!

For example, I thought the granite bench was particularly big and heavy at that time, and then I could make up a story that I wanted to move it and hit my foot.

Ps: You should make the above two reactions within 3 seconds.

4. tell stories.

8% of the conversation between two people is finished by telling stories. Here I briefly talk about how to tell a good story. 4.1: Details. For a story to sound true, there must be details. For example: "I'm lying on the bed with the quilt uncovered (details). Then I took out my mobile phone and glanced at it. I still clearly remember that it was 3: 15 in the morning (details). Then I turned over. . . . . 。” 4.2: Show value (optional). Stories are the best way to get to know you. For example, you want the other person to know that you are rich. You can just say, "I am a local tyrant."

Of course, you can also tell a story: "I died tragically recently. My car was hit by someone two days ago. Today, he called me and asked me to sign an agreement. I thought to myself, why sign a broken agreement to repair a car? As a result, when I looked at it, it said that if the parts were damaged during transportation. You have to bear it yourself Only then did I know that the parts of this broken car could only be imported from Italy. You can't buy it in China. Hey, I have been forced to drive for a few months. " In this way, people naturally know that you are driving a good car. And rich. 4.3: ups and downs. No one likes a plain story. This requires you to have a certain ability as a screenwriter. If not, you might as well arrange it before you speak it out.

For example, "Do you know? Yesterday, a sister paper consulted me. She said that her boyfriend's place was too small, only the size of toothpaste. I got angry when I heard it. Tell her, don't be naive, okay? It's as big as toothpaste. It's already big! ! As a result, she said weakly, have you seen the toothpaste in the hotel? . . 。” 4.4. Create a world picture and background. It's like being on the set, and your story better have a sense of picture. Otherwise, people will be boring. Many novels can do this well.

For example, "There is not much space on the second floor, and there are a few tables scattered. Yu Guang told me that there are several hot beauties sitting here for dinner. I didn't dare to look up and scan around, silently followed my buddy and walked to an empty table and sat down.

I looked up after I sat down. Opposite me, there is a small group of three girls at two o'clock. One of the girls faced me.

As a mentally healthy dead bitch, I glanced at her a few times.

the yellow center is smooth. A cool off-the-shoulder dress. Show round and greasy pearl shoulders. Two long legs with white reflections. Wearing a pair of transparent colored ribbon glass sandals on the soles of your feet. The ankles are round and graceful, and the ten toes are red and bright with nail polish. " I believe you can already imagine the picture that the novel wants to describe. 4.5: Join the feelings. A good story doesn't work without a good way of telling it. Imagine that if the robot Kawara Tsutomu had no feelings, it probably wouldn't have so many fans.

note: don't tell long stories when you are not familiar with each other. The story at this time should be short and interesting. When you get to know each other, you can start telling some long and profound stories.

5 .EV (Evoking Values)

The key point of eliciting Values (Elicit Value, or EV) is to find out the core value of a girl and understand what she wants from a man. But be careful not to be fooled! She said that she likes a tall man, or a rich man, but she didn't mean that you have to install a prosthetic limb or rob a bank. You know, she doesn't like the tall man himself, but the feeling of standing beside the tall man. You need to find the core values behind her surface values, that is, what she wants from the bottom of her heart. For example, a tall man, if you ask her how tall men make you feel? She will probably say "feel protected and safe"! That's right! This is what she fundamentally wants! She wants to feel protected, not just a "tall" man. So in reality, she will refuse a tall man if he can't give her a sense of security.

surface value Vs core value should be aware of what her surface value and its relative core value mean to her (such as honesty, kindness, politeness, etc.). You need to know the surface value she needs, but you should also think about the core value hidden behind it-that is the element that truly reflects her personality type. Surface value is often not as important as you think. For example, you should find the feelings she experienced when she was with an' honest' person, followed by' kindness',' respect for her' and other potential qualities. Secondly, find out what criteria she uses to measure whether a person is honest, kind or respectful. If she gives you three' keywords' that only have special meaning to her, you will never know what she is trying to express from the literal meaning. Core value = core demand I think "core demand" is more accurate and intuitive than core value. You have to know what she wants before you can know what type she belongs to. There are some general needs that are important to all women, such as comfort, security, emotional connection, and indulgence desire caused by sexual repression. These are not the areas you should focus on, and it is very important for you to find out her unique, strong and distinctive needs. Everyone has his own needs. Find it. How to use EV rule 1 as long as people, everyone, have their desires. These things may be adventure, freedom, respect, affection, or being a little girl again. It could be anything. Just remember that everyone has a headache. Rule 2 This may be a cliche. Find out what that thing is Be careful. You can find clues and clues from her. Be smart and ask some questions that will help you find clues. What you're looking for is what she always wanted but didn't get now, something that tickles her heart (but not what she wanted because of living conditions and the like). Rule 3: Tell a story. For example, you want to know her childhood experience. Of course, you can directly ask, "Did you encounter anything unforgettable when you were a child?" . At this time, the other party may not remember. You can say something like this: "I remember when I was a child, I was tricked into the ladies' room by a classmate." At that time, he told me that the teacher was waiting for me in the toilet. And I actually believed it. I walked in timidly, only to find that only one aunt was defecating. I asked her stupidly, did you see Miss Wang? As a result, she took me to the guidance office for questioning. Hey. I don't even want to talk about it. Did you encounter something similar when you were a child? " After listening to your story, she will probably be able to associate her childhood story with these words and share it with you. Even a short story may be the golden key for her to talk. This is to induce the other party to tell their own stories by telling their own stories. More importantly, you can often find some of her real core needs from her stories. Of course, you need the ability to tell stories. Reference 4)

6. Play hard to get

Use the fishing process to describe the dialogue process. Direct example: You: Where are you from? (Seduce)

Opposite party: Shandong people. (hooked)

You: Really! I like drinking Shandong people to make friends best! (Receiving the line) But why do I have difficulty communicating with you now? (Release) Example 2:

You: If I guess correctly, you must have studied abroad, right? (seduce)

the other party. Yes how do you know (Take the bait)

You: Haha, because I have been in France for two years before. People who have studied in school are full of aura, and I can see it at a glance. (Receiving the line) But you are the only one I'm not sure about. (release) The function of this method is to make you have to talk to each other. Without losing your identity. And it can arouse each other's curiosity. After all, there are too many diaosi these days, you know. )

7: Open Trap

If a person is interested in something and then you take it away, it will arouse his greater interest when you give it to him again. The open trap comes from this. The simple explanation is: include unexplained thoughts, stories, emotions or feelings in the conversation. For example, you have seen a movie, but there is a suspense at the end of the movie (the alien left a cub on the earth). You will start to look forward to its sequel. In conversation, it is like this. Join a woman and ask you, "How was your day?" What would you say? Is it "good"? Obviously that's weak. The open trap is played like this: She: "How was your day?"

you: "It's a long story".

She: "What's the matter?"

you: "that's disgusting! You don't want to know. " In this way, she will be very interested in the story. Ex. 2: You: "You know, you are really amazing! You let me be by your side