Interest-related: After eight years of emotional counseling practitioners

faced with the loss of their predecessors, I know that you are very uncomfortable and confused, and you don't know what to do, so I hope to find a reliable counselor/team to repair your feelings.

If you want to get out of the relationship dilemma of lovelorn, you want to repair the relationship with your ex. I hope I can use my professional experience to help you. According to our experience, the first step is to try to calm yourself down, explore "what you are doing to repair your feelings" and perceive your inner needs.

because this person is worth it? Because I need to grow up? Is it because I'm falling apart and I need help? Or do you want to escape the pain and find a sense of security within your control?

You need to see if this relationship is worth repairing. If you think it is necessary, then find an effective relationship repair counseling service in cheat people.

Important reminder: Don't feel painful because you have lost your beloved now, and then go to the consulting agency and ask if this person is worth keeping and if there is any way to repair the relationship with him.

Because if you ask the recovery agency this question, almost all agencies will say: You must repair it! And 91% or even 111% can be recovered.

they don't care about your feelings, they only care about whether they can make money from you.

This indiscriminate opening of the mouth in the screenshot tells you that "every relationship can be repaired", which will mislead the helper into thinking that "everything can be repaired successfully". There is also the repressive rhetoric of "your idea seems immature", which suppresses the self-esteem of consultants and attempts to establish their authoritative image in this way, which may make many help-seekers seem to grasp the straws and think that as long as they pay the money, what kind of relationship can be repaired!

even borrow money to get this kind of "service", and in the end, people and money are both empty and doubly sad.

As a love coach who has completed the repair of marriage and love relationships for thousands of times, I want to say to my friends who are in the anxiety and sadness of breaking up:

Only by letting go of the control and persistence of the results and paying more attention to yourself and the part that you can control can you repair your relationship most efficiently.

1. What kind of relationship repair has a high success rate and is worth saving?

Although there are many reasons for breaking up, they can be summarized into the following two categories

1. Realistic reasons?

2. Reasons for getting along

1. If you break up for practical reasons

This means that your relationship is not broken, but that you or he are crushed by reality and separated because of weakness and anxiety about reality. This situation is relatively difficult to recover and less worthwhile.

To give a few examples:

① It will be a long time away from home

The difficulty of recovery: ★★★

Worthy degree: ★★

Most long-distance relationships break up for two reasons:

1. When they are vulnerable, they can't find anyone, and there is nowhere to put their loneliness; ?

2. The insecurity of one of them leads to anxiety of both sides.

Long-distance love is difficult to manage and maintain, and it is very difficult to repair because it is difficult to create face-to-face interaction between two people. Unless you can confirm that after the relationship is repaired, you can meet each other at a relatively stable frequency, and you can completely trust each other and have the ability to deal with your own insecurity and anxiety, which requires practice and learning emotional management skills.

Therefore, when I ask for help in repairing the long-distance relationship, I always ask two questions:

1. "Is there a plan to end the current long-distance state?" ?

2. "Are you willing to improve your emotional management ability?"

if one of them answers no, I will persuade him to give up.

② Different plans and directions for future life

Repair difficulty: ★★★★★

Worthiness: ★★★★★

In this case, it is not a question of repair difficulty, but a question of whether it is worth it. For example,

My predecessor wants to stay in a certain city, but he wants to stay in another city. My predecessor wants to graduate and work, and I want to take the postgraduate entrance examination. The ex wants to get married and have children, and she wants to realize her career ideal. The ex wants dink, and she wants children. The ex doesn't want to get married, but wants to get married and have children.

On the issue of life planning, I am both a life coach and a love counselor, so I know very well how great the influence of goals and love will be on our future life.

It's easy for help seekers to get lost in this type of problem. On the one hand, they worry that they have taken the wrong path in life, on the other hand, they are suffering from the pain and suffering of lovelorn.

This kind of emotion easily drives us to make a wrong choice for fear of losing, to make a bad choice that will lead to a mess in our future life, and then to anger our predecessors, and finally to lose love and precious time in our lives. This time, we are three times unhappy.

Therefore, when encountering such problems, a good life coach will help you to see clearly what you want and need most in your life like a mirror. An excellent consulting coach can even help you activate the energy of love, and gain the best of both worlds from it, and love life will be fruitful.

The ability to love can give people confidence.

③ The reason of financial strength or parents' strong opposition

Repair difficulty: ★★★★

Worthy degree: ★★ ★

The reason of financial strength or parents' strong opposition to break up is also a difficult practical problem to deal with.

Sometimes because of these practical problems, there is no communication between two people, so they decide to break up, which is actually not worth repairing.

on the one hand, the lack of communication shows that both sides have no ability to solve practical problems and resolve contradictions between them; on the other hand, if their relationship can be easily defeated by external factors, it shows that both sides are not independent enough.

But if it is you who broke up with you, and then you regret it and want to keep the other party, you can still try to repair the following, because this is your own consciousness, and you want to try your best to save yourself, and you want to make yourself stronger, and you are eager to improve your conflict resolution ability and your independence in family of origin by repairing this relationship, so that you can become better and more independent.

After all, sometimes we need to experience loss before we can understand what we really want. We should allow ourselves and give ourselves a chance to choose again. If this is your case, maybe the following case I repaired can give you some inspiration.

④ Make a principled mistake

Repair difficulty: ★★★★★

Worthiness: ★★

If the other party makes a principled mistake, which leads to the breakdown of your relationship, you still want to repair it, depending on whether it is worth it.

If the fetters of family, feelings, children, property, etc. of both parties are deep and extensive. This is valuable for repair, and generally speaking, it can be repaired very well.

But if you make a principled mistake and want to repair it, the most important thing at this time is to repair the damage first, and then to repair the relationship.

There are many principled mistakes that will bring extremely serious harm to your family and relationships, such as: serious domestic violence, gambling, drugs, and various kinds of serious psychological and physical injuries to children/the elderly on purpose.

If your partner has already done this, I advise you not to have any illusions, not to be a virgin, thinking that you can save each other, so as to save the relationship with each other.

Let the other person learn to bear the consequences of his actions, which is the best way for you to love him at this time.

as the old saying goes, people are not sages, to err is human.

We rarely become individuals and become "sages" just because we make an oath or a promise, otherwise the whole world will be sages, and there will be no domestic violence and family tragedies all over the world.

Sometimes, only by allowing others to make mistakes can we better accept ourselves and our imperfections.

If you are unfortunately in this situation, the following case I have done may give you some inspiration:

2. If you break up because of getting along

If you don't get along with each other, it is often because of family of origin's influence that the three views are different, such as living habits, eating habits, subconscious sense of security and so on, resulting in arguments, conflicts and misunderstandings between the two sides. Most people will focus on the conflict and quarrel itself, thinking that an apology is enough, but the essential root problem is communication.

communication ability involves what we usually call immature emotional intelligence, which leads to discomfort, fatigue, cold violence and even "power struggle" when the two sides are together. For example, whether the toilet lid at home should be opened or closed ...

It is the root cause of emotional breakdown that they don't know how to communicate their feelings, express their feelings in the right way, and love each other in their own hearts.

For example:

① The communication between two people always discusses things, and even suppresses each other because of their different views?

② The two sides are not good at communication after the conflict, so they adopt avoidance state and accumulate a lot of resentment?

③ I feel that I have been giving, but the other person doesn't feel it, which makes the other person feel that you don't love him?

④ I often complain to the other party, lose my temper, and ask the other party to change. They often express that they are tired?

⑤ When it comes to emotional topics, the other person is always silent, and he is always anxious and insecure?

⑥ both parties feel aggrieved when they say or do something that hurts each other?

⑦ Misunderstanding of negative impression caused by poor communication?

⑧ Always intentionally or unintentionally trying to force him to get married

If we are separated from each other because we don't know how to love, it's really the worst tragedy in life.

fortunately, in my opinion, the difficulty of fixing this problem is the lowest, and it is also the most worth fixing.

Once the repair is completed, the relationship between two people can often be on the sweet road.

Repair difficulty: ★

Worthy degree: ★★★★★

Why is it most worth repairing?

because if you don't learn how to love each other this time, you will have an epiphany immediately when you meet your next boyfriend or girlfriend?

if we can't swim, we can't even change to 111 swimming pools.

Now the divorce rate is so high, do you have enough ability and confidence to make sure that the person who will marry you, raise children and spend the rest of his life loves you and is also the one you love?

This breakup just reminds you that the way you used to get along with each other and love them is not the way they want, otherwise they won't be separated from you.

So you need to learn to make the other person feel true love.

So it's worth repairing, which means that you can seize this opportunity of repairing and let yourself learn to love truly.

why is it difficult to repair?

because the main core factor of not letting the other person feel love is related to ourselves, that is, controllable.

As long as you learn how to really love each other, express it in a way that makes everyone comfortable, and let them feel your love, you can make them turn around.

more importantly, you have learned it, and you won't suffer.

When the people around you can continue to grow under your influence, you must have become a heartthrob. Your ex may be more nervous than you, and start to plan how to get back together with you every day.

Learning true love and mastering the ability of love will not only heal ourselves and make us full of strength, but also make the other person approach you and keep you actively.

I have followed and counseled thousands of repair cases, of which hundreds of relationships need long-term follow-up, and almost all of them are actively retained by their predecessors, and 98% of couples have never quarreled again within six months after they got back together.

second, if you are struggling to repair your relationship with your ex, I'll give you a relationship repair test worth 111 yuan now!

Let me help you now to enter a four-dimensional thinking mode, that is, to look at you now from the future, which can help you better decide whether to repair your relationship with the other party and ensure simplicity and efficiency!

1. Are you just missing him now, or do you miss his existence in your life? ?

2. What if this relationship is saved successfully? After you are together, will there be any changes from before? ?

3. What did you feel or learn when you were apart? Does this answer make you want to be close to him more, or does it make you a little scared? ?

4. Can you imagine life without him?

the first feeling is always right!

You can write down your answer with your first feeling, and I'll help you analyze it.

third, how to distinguish between real and effective emotional repair services/institutions?

does the relevant team organization or individual have a practice certificate? "Training experience" corresponding to the major? For institutions, I won't talk about whether there is a business license within the business scope, because this is the basic skill.

If you don't even have these basic things, let alone competence and consulting ethics, every minute is a fraud!

About identifying fraud: What do you think of Shanghai police arresting 69 masters of emotional recovery? Can the emotional recovery master really save the lovelorn?

next, I will focus on four details that are likely to be ignored or even cheated, and are closely related to the information you care most about, such as whether the service is professional or not!

1. Is there a refundable agreement in the contract?

Reliability: ★★★★★

No matter how boastful the other party is, I tell you that 91%, 111% can be redeemed, even in a week, etc. If it is not put into paper, it can only show that you trust him very much, but he doesn't trust you that much.

A fair and reasonable refund agreement is based on the well-being of the consultant.

Although the emotional industry is newer than the psychological industry, I think consultation should abide by the corresponding consulting ethics, and the first rule of consulting ethics is: put the well-being of consultants first.

Even for psychological counseling, if the counselor hasn't improved after a period of time, he should think of his own lack of ability, help the counselor to consider referral or suggest the counselor to find a second home by himself.

on the other hand, a fair and reasonable refund agreement not only helps our consultants' professional ability and attitude, but also helps to improve the level and reputation of the consulting industry.

2. Is there a confidentiality agreement in the contract?

Reliability: ★★★★ ★

Confidentiality agreement is one of the criteria to test whether the consultant is professional, because it is also the performance that the consultant's welfare comes first.

Once, some help seekers who went to other consulting institutions complained to me. He said that he was cheated, but he was afraid to complain and refund because he was worried that those institutions would go to his ex-girlfriend for information.

if there is no confidentiality agreement! That's not a qualified consultant and consulting agency! ! !

3. Is there a telephone consultation and a professional and clear analysis report?

this is the standard to test whether the consultant's business process is professional!

in the formal first consultation and evaluation, we should find out the core reasons according to the current situation of the consultant and the reasons for breaking up, and make long-term plans and short-term goals for the consultant to save or repair the relationship.

I think many people like to consult in words, but in fact, it doesn't have much effect.

Because the perspective of the parties is relatively limited, what do you think?