I want to ask the general again. I want to change my military orders. So he ordered the soldiers to prepare a handful of firewood, cook in the third watch, finish the meal in the fourth watch, and burn the city before dawn. At dawn, people from all walks of life lit a fire together, and suddenly smoke filled the air, and the people wept bitterly and shook the earth. The duke was frightened, so he called Pioneer and asked why he burned the city. The vanguard took out a search warrant and gave it to the Lord. When he saw it, God stamped his foot and shouted, "My fault, my fault!" " It turned out that he inadvertently wrote the word "around" as the word "burn"! As a result, Yizheng City was reduced to ashes. The Lord had to ask his superiors to sentence him to death.
2. In the early years of the Republic of China, a military inspector was offended by the words of one of his quartermaster and ordered: "Strike thirty sticks."
The quartermaster was taken outside the barracks and the soldiers lined up their guns. At the command of the chief, the quartermaster was beaten all over with a bang.
The supervisor is drinking tea in the study. When he heard the gunshot, he asked why. His men reported that the quartermaster had been executed. The supervisor was surprised: "Who told you to shoot him?" When his men handed the imperial edict handwritten by the supervisor, they saw four big characters: "shoot 30 people." It turned out that the supervisor misspelled the word "stick" into "gun" The difference between the two words wasted his life.
3. 1930, Feng Yuxiang and Yan Xishan fought a decisive battle with Chiang Kai-shek's army in the Central Plains. Yan Feng agreed to join forces in Qinyang, northern Henan, and annihilate Chiang Kai-shek nearby. However, at the command of Feng Department's staff, the word "Qin" was changed to "Bi" by mistake, and "Qinyang" became "Biyang", while southern Henan.
4、? A young man went to see a doctor somewhere in Jiangsu, and the doctor diagnosed him as "hernia". This disease, commonly known as "intestinal gas", is a very common disease and it is not difficult to treat.
Unfortunately, the young man is illiterate and doesn't know the word "hernia", but he mistakenly thinks it is the word "cancer" and thinks that he has an incurable disease! He is very introverted and afraid to ask doctors, friends and even parents about his illness, so he is sad and worried all day. Because of the increasing mental pressure, he could not get rid of it. Finally, one night, the young man left a suicide note in a hurry and swallowed a lot of sleeping pills to commit suicide.
Misrecognize a word, and even die!
Beijing Hua Mao Company signed a contract with Longmao Company to buy 400,000 yuan down jacket, but Hua Mao canceled the contract halfway and was taken to court by Longmao Company. Hua Mao was ready to admit the punishment at first, but later found that the "down" in the contract was written as "duck down", so he seized this point and put forward that "the goods did not reach the contract goal". As a result, my totoro lost the case and had to throw down jackets at a low price, with a huge loss of 200 thousand.
On New Year's Day, my family went to the History Museum to visit the "Ice Toilet" …
Teacher's comment: Is there such a thing? I'm going too! (Terracotta Warriors)
7. After getting up in the morning, we gathered at school and took a ride to Kenting for a graduation trip.
Teacher's comment: I don't know which funeral home is your home? Teachers never know ... (Yi Rong)
8. My left eyelid kept jumping last night, and I thought it was a "bra". Sure enough, my wallet was taken away today.
Teacher's comment: Are you so old, son? (ominous)
9. The newspaper said that oysters polluted by heavy metals can "cure" cancer …
Teacher's comment: a word difference, raising people to turn over! Should I raise oysters quickly? This will make a lot of money ...
10. Last night, my classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner. We ordered two hamburgers and "chicken nuggets and a piece of shit" …
Teacher's comment: Is it delicious? Chicken manure? (A piece of chicken)
1 1. When I went shopping on Sunday, I accidentally got caught in my anus in a hurry. What bad luck.
Teacher's comment: The teacher is curious-whose anus is so big ...? (steel door)
12. After visiting the flower market, I bought a "bargain" and prepared to take it home for the New Year.
Teacher's comment: if you read it correctly, gladiolus will cry …
13, my history teacher has long hair shawl, short stature, bad temper and a little "chest" …
Teacher's comment: The history teacher asked me to tell you, "Wait for the history class, so tighten your skin." . "(intense)
14, I think I am a good student with "worry" in my studies …
Teacher's comment: You have to worry-failure. (excellent)
15, on the "broad road" of "bumpy" life, we should be firm in our own direction …
Teacher's comment: This road can be the ninth wonder after eight wonders of the world relayed the Terracotta Warriors.