Once upon a time, there was a scholar's son who was stupid, but the scholar loved face and had no money. Once, the scholar's relatives came to visit him. So the scholar taught his son, "When the guests come, you should behave yourself and appear knowledgeable. If guests ask about the trees in front of their house, they will say that it will be difficult to sell in a few years. " If guests ask about the rockery behind their home, they will say that war and chaos have already been buried in the soil. If people go to see our granary, they will say that mom and dad earned it hard. If the guest asks about the scholar card on the wall, tell him what's the matter. Every generation in our family has to make one. So he asked his son to recite these questions in three days, and the guests came. In order to show his son, the scholar let his son entertain the guests alone and hid himself. The guest asked about your father? The son replied in turn: "If the year is not good, it will be sold." The guest was surprised. Ask again, where is your mother? "The soldiers were in chaos and buried in the soil." When the guest saw him say something irrelevant, he pointed to the cow dung and said, "It's not small, it's cow dung." My son is busy saying that my parents earned all this. The guest can't stand it anymore. Ask, are you the son of a scholar after all? Why are you so stupid? The scholar's son quickly said, What's the matter? Every generation in our family has to make one. Historical allusions of humorous stories In the Sui Dynasty, there was a man with a special Minhui in his heart, but he had a natural defect-stuttering. Whenever Su Yang was bored, he called him in to play. One December, Su Yang and this man sat together at home. Yang Suxi asked, "There is such a big pit as ten feet deep, and so is Fiona Fang. If you are locked in, what can you do to get out? " The man looked down and thought for a long time. Suddenly he looked up and asked, "Is there a ladder in the pit?" Su Yang said, "Of course there is no ladder. If there is a ladder, do you need to ask? " The man bowed his head and thought for a long time, then asked, "white … white … white … during the day?" Or night ... night ... night ... night? " Su Yang said impatiently, "Who cares about day and night? I ask you, is there any way out? " The man asked, "If it wasn't at night and my eyes weren't blind, why did I fall into the pit?" Su Yang laughed it off. Su Yang asked him again: "If I suddenly order you to be an officer and guard a small town, your soldiers will not exceed 1,000, and your food will only last for a few days, and there will be tens of thousands of enemy troops around the city. As the head coach of the city, do you have any plans to defend the city? " The man lowered his head for a long time and asked, "Is there ... help ... help?" Su Yang replied, "Is it because there are no reinforcements?" The man pondered for a long time, looked up and said to Su Yang, "Be honest ... as you said, failure is inevitable." Su Yang smiled again. Then, Su Yang asked again, "It seems that you are smart and versatile. None of my questions can beat you. Now let me ask you one more thing: someone was bitten by a snake at home today. What do you think should be done? " The man replied, "On May 5th, take snow from the south wall ... snow ... trade union, thermal unit, Transmission Unit)? and Training Unit ... well, that's ... slaughter, that's treatment." Su Yang asked, "Where will it snow in May?" The man smiled and asked, "Since there is no … no snow … it snows in May, where will there be a snake bite in the twelfth month?" Su Yang laughed my head off and sent the man away. In the early years of Tianbao, Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, he asked Zhang Zhi for fame. The famous secretary Jian He wrote to the court and retired to Wuzhong. Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated everything differently. When He Zhangzhi left, he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, and his eyes were full of tears. Tang Xuanzong asked him what other requirements he had. Zhang Zhi said: I know a son who hasn't been named yet. If your majesty gives you a name, it will be a great honor for the old minister to return home in clothes. "Xuanzong said:" Faith is the Tao, and those who are blessed believe it. Qing's son should be called Fu. "Know chapter and thank humbly. It took me a long time to realize. I thought to myself, "The emperor is so happy with me. I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is followed by' zi'. He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? "I don't know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to write poems. One day, Ai Zi swam between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel. In the evening, he heard a voice in the next room: "A song." After a while, he said, "Another song. "YiZi puzzling, sleepy all night. I lay down until dawn, and I heard the people in the next room say it about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs. Ai Zi thought that the man in the next room must be a poet. He quietly concentrated on poetry at the foot of the mountain, and he felt respected inside. He also liked this man's quick thinking and decided to get to know him. Early in the morning, Ai Zi got dressed and got up, adjusted her crown belt and stood at the door to meet her. Soon, a vendor came out of the next room, thin and pale. Ai Zi was disappointed, thinking: With this respect, you look like a poet. Perhaps, people can't judge people by their appearances, and they can't guess blindly. He went up to him and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems." Can I see them? "The man said," I am a businessman, and I never know what poetry is. "Ai Zi, who has always refused to write poetry, stubbornly said," I heard you say' one' in the house last night, and then said' one'. Isn't that a poem? Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood. Last night, my stomach was upset. Every time I have diarrhea, I can't find toilet paper at night, so I wipe it with my hands. Diarrhea lasted all night, and my hands were dyed almost six or seven times. The' hand' I said is not the' first' of this poem. " Ai Zi felt ashamed when she heard this. He often studies the meaning of words with Wang (An Shi). On one occasion, Dongpo pointed to the word "slope" and asked what Wang meant. Wang Anshi explained: "Slope is the skin of the earth. Dongpo did not agree, and asked, "So, the word' slippery' is the bone of' water'?" ? "Wang Anshi heard, a long time speechless. Dongpo likes to cook pigs. When monks in Fo Yin lived in Jinshan Temple, they often cooked pigs and waited for Dongpo to eat. One day, Su Dongpo came to Jinshan Temple again, but the roast pig in Fo Yin was stolen by others. Fo Yin was very unhappy. Su Dongpo wrote a game poem to comfort Fo Yin: Yuan Gong sells wine and drinks Tao Qian, Fo Yin cooks pigs and other sons; After picking flowers into honey, I don't know who hard work is sweet to. -He's avocado is crisp and delicious. Su Dongpo ate and asked, "What's the name of this avocado?" The host replied that he hadn't named it yet. Dongpo asked again, "Why?" (Why is it so brittle? The guests in the seat all said, "You can use the word' why is it crisp' as your name. "Also, chief Pan knows that Su Dongpo can't drink. Every time he comes to eat, Dongpo specially prepares some low-grade liqueur for him. Su Dongpo laughed and joked, "This wine must have been cooked wrong. "One day, Su Dongpo suddenly had a whim and wanted to eat avocado, so he made a small poem to ask He Xiucai: there is nothing before drinking wild flowers, and the gourd is hung around his waist; I poured the wrong boiled water in Pan Zi, so I found your house easily. -During the dinner, Jiang Xian said a wine sequence: "You should all have a medicine name." So he pointed to Dongpo and said, "You are the name of the medicine. Historical allusions of humorous stories In the Sui Dynasty, there was a man with a special Minhui in his heart, but he had a natural defect-stuttering. Whenever Su Yang was bored, he called him in to play. One December, Su Yang and this man sat together at home. Yang Suxi asked, "There is such a big pit as ten feet deep, and so is Fiona Fang. If you are locked in, what can you do to get out? " The man looked down and thought for a long time. Suddenly he looked up and asked, "Is there a ladder in the pit?" Su Yang said, "Of course there is no ladder. If there is a ladder, do you need to ask? " The man bowed his head and thought for a long time, then asked, "white … white … white … during the day?" Or night ... night ... night ... night? " Su Yang said impatiently, "Who cares about day and night? I ask you, is there any way out? " The man asked, "If it wasn't at night and my eyes weren't blind, why did I fall into the pit?" Su Yang laughed it off. Su Yang asked him again: "If I suddenly order you to be an officer and guard a small town, your soldiers will not exceed 1,000, and your food will only last for a few days, and there will be tens of thousands of enemy troops around the city. As the head coach of the city, do you have any plans to defend the city? " The man lowered his head for a long time and asked, "Is there ... help ... help?" Su Yang replied, "Is it because there are no reinforcements?" The man pondered for a long time, looked up and said to Su Yang, "Be honest ... as you said, failure is inevitable." Su Yang smiled again. Then, Su Yang asked again, "It seems that you are smart and versatile. None of my questions can beat you. Now let me ask you one more thing: someone was bitten by a snake at home today. What do you think should be done? " The man replied, "On May 5th, take snow from the south wall ... snow ... trade union, thermal unit, Transmission Unit)? and Training Unit ... well, that's ... slaughter, that's treatment." Su Yang asked, "Where will it snow in May?" The man smiled and asked, "Since there is no … no snow … it snows in May, where will there be a snake bite in the twelfth month?" Su Yang laughed my head off and sent the man away. In the early years of Tianbao, Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, he asked Zhang Zhi for fame. The famous secretary Jian He wrote to the court and retired to Wuzhong. Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated everything differently. When He Zhangzhi left, he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, and his eyes were full of tears. Tang Xuanzong asked him what other requirements he had. Zhang Zhi said: I know a son who hasn't been named yet. If your majesty gives you a name, it will be a great honor for the old minister to return home in clothes. "Xuanzong said:" Faith is the Tao, and those who are blessed believe it. Qing's son should be called Fu. "Know chapter and thank humbly. It took me a long time to realize. I thought to myself, "The emperor is so happy with me. I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is followed by' zi'. He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? "I don't know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to write poems. One day, Ai Zi swam between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel. In the evening, he heard a voice in the next room: "A song." After a while, he said, "Another song. "YiZi puzzling, sleepy all night. I lay down until dawn, and I heard the people in the next room say it about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs. Ai Zi thought that the man in the next room must be a poet. He quietly concentrated on poetry at the foot of the mountain, and he felt respected inside. He also liked this man's quick thinking and decided to get to know him. Early in the morning, Ai Zi got dressed and got up, adjusted her crown belt and stood at the door to meet her. Soon, a vendor came out of the next room, thin and pale. Ai Zi was disappointed, thinking: With this respect, you look like a poet. Perhaps, people can't judge people by their appearances, and they can't guess blindly. He went up to him and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems." Can I see them? "The man said," I am a businessman, and I never know what poetry is. "Ai Zi, who has always refused to write poetry, stubbornly said," I heard you say' one' in the house last night, and then said' one'. Isn't that a poem? Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood. Last night, my stomach was upset. Every time I have diarrhea, I can't find toilet paper at night, so I wipe it with my hands. Diarrhea lasted all night, and my hands were dyed almost six or seven times. The' hand' I said is not the' first' of this poem. " Ai Zi felt ashamed when she heard this. He often studies the meaning of words with Wang (An Shi). On one occasion, Dongpo pointed to the word "slope" and asked what Wang meant. Wang Anshi explained: "Slope is the skin of the earth. Dongpo did not agree, and asked, "So, the word' slippery' is the bone of' water'?" ? "Wang Anshi heard, a long time speechless. Dongpo likes to cook pigs. When monks in Fo Yin lived in Jinshan Temple, they often cooked pigs and waited for Dongpo to eat. One day, Su Dongpo came to Jinshan Temple again, but the roast pig in Fo Yin was stolen by others. Fo Yin was very unhappy. Su Dongpo wrote a game poem to comfort Fo Yin: Yuan Gong sells wine and drinks Tao Qian, Fo Yin cooks pigs and other sons; After picking flowers into honey, I don't know who hard work is sweet to. -He's avocado is crisp and delicious. Su Dongpo ate and asked, "What's the name of this avocado?" The host replied that he hadn't named it yet. Dongpo asked again, "Why?" (Why is it so brittle? The guests in the seat all said, "You can use the word' why is it crisp' as your name. "Also, chief Pan knows that Su Dongpo can't drink. Every time he comes to eat, Dongpo specially prepares some low-grade liqueur for him. Su Dongpo laughed and joked, "This wine must have been cooked wrong. "One day, Su Dongpo suddenly had a whim and wanted to eat avocado, so he made a small poem to ask He Xiucai: there is nothing before drinking wild flowers, and the gourd is hung around his waist; I poured the wrong boiled water in Pan Zi, so I found your house easily. -During the dinner, Jiang Xian said a wine sequence: "You should all have a medicine name." So he pointed to Dongpo and said, "You are the name of the medicine." Dongpo puzzling, hurriedly asked. Jiang said to him, "Zi." Dongpo casually said to him, "You are also a medicinal name. If it's not Pinellia ternata, it must be Magnolia officinalis. Jiang Zhi was puzzled and asked what Dongpo said. Dongpo told him with a smile: "This is not Pinellia ternata and Magnolia officinalis, but ginger. "-.But I still have a question:" I don't know what's so funny about whipping dogs with bamboo? " Gong Jing just laughed and asked, "Is there any evidence that the word' pigeon' is changed from' bird' to' nine'? "Dongpo immediately replied:" The Book of Songs says:' The dead pigeon is in mulberry, and his son is seven', plus their parents, it is exactly nine. " Hearing this, Wang nodded happily. It was a long time before I knew that Su Dongpo had played a big joke with him again. Before Dongpo could read the poem, he began to recite it vividly, and his feelings flooded. After singing the poems, I asked Dongpo's opinion: "How much can Zheng Xiang comment on these poems?" Dongpo said without thinking, "ten points." Delighted, he asked Guo why he could be very happy. Dongpo smiled and answered, "You just recite poems, seven points come from reading and three points come from poems. Isn't it ten o'clock? "-.A scholar wrote a letter to Dongpo asking for tax relief for his family. The letter said: "I have no goods on board, so I can't pay taxes." "Everything is at your command. Please let me go to Jingnan House to retrieve my dead father's coffin. " The officials laughed their heads off when they saw it. -Every time Chao (Chao Duanyan) goes to see Dongpo, Dongpo always says so. Once, Dongpo said to Uncle Mei, "I was selected by Zhaoling in Xianke. At that time, Wen Kuijun often became bosom friends with Yan. When I called ministers in the temple, I was always honest with current events and was recognized by the emperor. Soon, I repeatedly presented the remarks in the last chapter. Although very straightforward, the emperor never complained. If it weren't for my advice to the court, who could give pertinent advice? What I am worried about now is that the court will kill me. " Mei Shu was speechless. Dongpo sighed and said, "If the imperial court really wants to kill me, what is the pity in my life?" . It's just better for you after killing me. "The two of them then burst into laughter. -Man Qing's behavior is dissolute. He is good at talking about harmony and silence. On one occasion, Shi rode a horse to visit Baoning Temple. The groom lost control for a while, and the horse jumped off and accidentally fell to the ground. The attendants quickly picked him up and put him in the saddle. When pedestrians saw this, they all gathered to watch, thinking that he would be furious and scold the centaur for a while. Unexpectedly, Shi slowly raised his whip and said half jokingly to the man who led the horse, "Fortunately, I am a Shi Bachelor. If I were a bachelor of tile, wouldn't it be broken long ago? "-.Today, Han Zongru is insatiable. Every time he gets a picture of you, he goes to the handsome Lin Yao in the temple to buy ten catties of meat. In this way, you can call your calligraphy a book for changing sheep. "One day, Su Shi was busy writing a story in the Imperial Academy, when Han Zongru sent someone to send a letter in order to get Su Shi to reply and exchange his words for meat. Everyone was standing under the door, and the governor was in a hurry. Su Shi smiled and said to him, "Go back and tell your boss to cut off his meat today." Su Dongpo visited a family in his early years. The host is hospitable and urges tea again and again. Dongpo was so embarrassed that he smiled and said to his master, "The so-called old woman painted her face." The host doesn't understand this meaning-put (tea), put (tea). -Once, Zheng Guang and his colleagues sang wine and poems together, so everyone sang poems together and urged Zheng Guang to write a poem. Zheng Guang was forced to sing at random: "Don't ask civil servants and military attaché s, it's always so-so. The official rank is to be an official and then a thief, while Zheng Guang is a thief and then an official. " Hearing this, everyone burst into laughter. The alchemist is about ninety years old, but his face is as fresh as a baby. Pu Zheng Chuan entertained him happily, and they had a very speculative talk. Zheng Chuan prayed to him for a long life. The alchemist replied, "My immortality is extremely simple. Basically, there is nothing to be taboo, except one thing that must be remembered and forbidden. " Zheng Chuan listened, bowed his head and thought for a long time, and sighed, "If so, what good will it do to live for more than a thousand years?" -When I took the imperial examination in my early years, the examiner talked to him. I didn't pay attention, so I said the word "fall", but I was angry and rude. If a servant makes a mistake of "falling down", he will be hit with a stick. So when servants talk to him, they often refer to "happiness" as "well-being". On this day, he suddenly heard that the list was posted and quickly sent a servant to see it. After a while, the servant ran back, and Liu Mian hurried forward and asked, "Is my name on the list?" The servant sighed and replied, "The scholar has recovered." -The expression "my husband" probably comes from Yuan, a scholar in the Eastern Jin Dynasty, but this statement is really unreasonable. As far as the imperial examination scholars on the list are concerned, some of them are unwilling to be the son-in-law of others, but forced to surrender by powerful people. There was a new boy, handsome in appearance and handsome in manner, admired by a powerful person and wanted to choose his own husband. A powerful and powerful mission, a dozen servants, surrounded the new teenagers into their houses. Along the way, the young man walked happily, without any intention of escaping or refusing. At the door of the dignitaries' house, the people who came to watch almost surrounded a human wall, three floors inside and three floors outside, which was very lively. After a while, an official dressed in gold and purple came out of the room and met the new boy. He laughed and said, "I only have one daughter, and she looks good." I am willing to marry you as a good friend of Qin Jin. I don't know what you think? " The boy quickly bowed and thanked him, saying, "I am a humble person, and I am lucky to trust the halls." It's just that I am a young man. How about I discuss it with my wife when I get home and give you an answer? "Hearing this, everyone laughed. Qin Shihuang //storychina.cn/main2.asp? id= 18222。 Tablename=sitesearch is just right? Original Publisher: Du Mi Library Three Minutes Humorous Story 1: Three Minutes Humorous Story Three Minutes Humorous Story Cheapskate regards Xiao Lu as a stingy person. Colleagues take turns inviting people to dinner, but he never pays the bill. After a long time, everyone will be a little unhappy. One day, at the end of dinner, john young proposed for the first time that Xiao Lu should pay the bill this time. Unexpectedly, Xiao Lu patted his thigh and said regretfully, Look, you didn't say anything earlier, but I just didn't bring my wallet today. Next time! Jia Jia, a female colleague, reminded him: Who still uses cash now? They are all paid by mobile phone. Xiao Lu had no choice but to take out his mobile phone and have a look at it. Alas, the mobile phone is dead. John Yang is ready, takes out a charging treasure and says, I'm ready for you. Come on! Xiao Lu suddenly blindsided, and her mouth twitched twice with love. Everyone held back their laughter and waited for him to charge their mobile phones while chatting. At this moment, Xiao Lu exclaimed again: My mobile phone is poisoned and can't be opened! After this incident, everyone completely gave up the treatment of Lu Xiao's small gas disease and stopped asking him to eat. Unexpectedly, on this day, Xiao Lu offered to treat guests, and sincerely said: It's my turn to express your treat for so long. I arranged a party with a special theme this weekend, and the venue was set at Manhattan restaurant. Everyone looked at each other. Manhattan is a famous local restaurant. Why did Xiao Lu suddenly become so generous? At the weekend, in order to match the elegant atmosphere of Manhattan, everyone dressed up to attend. I went to the front desk and said with great style: My name is Lu, and I have made a reservation in advance. Hello, Mr. Lu, please come with me. The waiter was very polite and led them into a box. First, he gave them a pot of green tea called forgetful water. Why is the name of this tea so strange? John young is a little confused. Jia Jia rolled his eyes: Terrapin is not, but people in big places pay attention to connotation! Everyone nodded, and Lv Xiao smiled and said nothing. The first course was served soon. There are three plates, and several small ones are coded in the plates.