General can eat, but there is a shortage? -"Twenty-eight Years of Zuo Gong" This is a sentence in Zuo Zhuan, to the effect that how can a "general" not have enough to eat? "But the general here is not an official position, but a kind of honorific title of subordinates to leaders. Combined with the historical background of Zuo Zhuan's Twenty-eight Years of Zhao Gong, it refers to Wei Xianzi of the State of Jin. Wei Wu, the son of Wei Xianzi, is in charge of hearing a case. The defendant went to his father Wei Xianzi through the back door and sent a beautiful singer for sex. Unexpectedly, Wei Xianzi accepted it, which made Wei E in an awkward position, so he mobilized his father's subordinates Yan Mei and Nvkuan to admonish Wei Xianzi. On this day, Yan followed Wei Xianzi, the old leader, back to the palace without a woman, but he didn't leave until dinner, so Wei Xianzi kept them for dinner. I should have behaved well when I was eating with the leader, but it was impolite for these two people to sigh three times in a row at the dinner table. Wei Xianzi saw something was wrong and asked Yan why she didn't sigh with that woman. Yan didn't tell the woman about her hangover last night, but her stomach was empty and she was busy going to court in the morning until her eyes shone with hunger. Seeing the food just arrived, I felt afraid of not having enough to eat, and sighed for the first time. It was not until the middle of the dish that we realized that we were worrying too much. How can the general make us hungry? " So the second sigh. After dinner, after a series of inner changes, we realized how greedy we were at the beginning, but in fact we were just satisfied. After listening to their explanation, Wei Xianzi suddenly realized that the two men had come to remonstrate themselves and immediately ordered Song Ji to be returned. After reading the story of Zuo Zhuan, some people may think that the ancients were too troublesome. Isn't it just giving personal advice and giving advice by the way? Why bother? What the boatman wants to say is that this story just shows the wisdom of the ancients about remonstrance. The following boatman will take you to analyze. First, it depends on whether this person is worth persuading. There is a saying like this: "You can never wake up a person who pretends to sleep", so when we want to try to convince someone, we should first consider whether this person is worth convincing. Take Wei Xianzi in the story as an example. He is a typical official of three generations, and his grandfather is Wei Zhaozi (also known as Wei Zhuangzi). However, unlike most aristocratic children, Wei Xianzi's military achievements are no less than his grandfather's, and even far more than that. In 54 1 BC, Wei Xianzi defeated Diman with an infantry phalanx in the battle of Dayuan, which declared the end of the war history with the car war as the main force. After that, the infantry phalanx became the dominant mode in the history of China War for a long time. Therefore, people call this infantry phalanx Shuwei phalanx. Thanks to the efforts of three generations, Wei Xianzi's family's behavior in the State of Jin rose steadily, and his son Wei Wu also followed the pace of family development, entered the officialdom, and passed on the glory of his ancestors. This time is the critical period to decide whether the family can go further, so Wei Xianzi, an elderly man, is occasionally fatuous at this time, which is worth admonishing! The reason is not complicated. For the Wei Xianzi family, if they choose to continue to endure and accumulate, they will gain more in the future. At this time, it is not difficult for the other party to make the best choice after understanding what you mean. On the contrary, some people, perhaps because they have lost hope for the future, might as well eat, drink and be merry. For such people, in reality, they are "pretending to sleep". It is better not to persuade them, because it is useless to persuade them. Second, who should be persuaded? In the story, when Wei Xianzi's son faced his father's mistake, why didn't he tell his father himself, but he found his father's former subordinates to make a mistake? This involves the importance of the identity of the exhorter. In life, we often find that the same sentence, spoken by people of different identities, will have completely different effects. Suppose Wei E in the story directly remonstrates with her father Wei Xianzi. Anyway, as long as he opens his mouth, he will fail more than half! There is a dialogue in The Analects of Confucius Yan Yuan: Qi Jinggong asks Confucius about politics. Confucius said: Jun Jun, minister, father and son. Gong said: Good! I believe you are not a gentleman, I am not a minister, my father is not a father, and my son is not a son. Although there is millet, we should eat it. Confucius meant that fathers should be like fathers and sons should be like sons. Therefore, the son's exhortation is equivalent to his son criticizing his father, and it is impolite no matter whether the reason is reasonable or not. Wei Xianzi has every reason to suspect that his son's wings are hard, and it is unfilial to challenge his authority through trivial matters. Wei Xianzi is probably angry at the thought of this, so don't expect him to listen to what the so-called persuasion content is. On the contrary, Wei Yan and Wei Xianzi have no direct interest and are suitable for admonition. Although they used to be Wei Xianzi's subordinates, in the perennial army, there will be some similar friendships in private, called "holding your hand and growing old with your son" (see note 1). In this case, Wei Xianzi knows that it is only for his own good and will seriously reflect. Third, in what way to persuade? Recognize that this person is worth persuading and find the right person to persuade. The next step is the simplest and most difficult thing, how to make the other party accept the advice. The reason why we say "simple" is because it may be just a few simple words in practice. It is complicated because it depends on different people and how to persuade them. Let's go back to the story of Zuo Gong's twenty-eight years. As a successful general, Wei Xianzi naturally has superior majesty, so if you want to remonstrate with him, you must take care of his face, so Yan He and Nvkuan tactfully remonstrate with him by eating and sighing. Because they know that they are already very familiar with Wei Xianzi, and Wei Xianzi once commanded a general with thousands of troops, and he would never turn a blind eye to the unreasonable details. So it will lead to the advice of the latter two. The heart of the admonisher, the admonisher will understand, and a simple story of the admonisher seems to have become a gorgeous movement. At this point, some people may say that I advised him for his own good. Why do you have to make these twists and turns? Just say it directly. Anyway, I am very frank. What the boatman wants to say is that what most people call being outspoken is actually a kind of slack. To know that the premise of being really good to a person is to respect this person, and the most direct performance is to save the other person's face. If you don't care about the other person's face, no matter what you say, it is a kind of disrespect at first, so don't expect the other person to listen. Man is a gregarious animal. Although the face is invisible, it is very important. This was understood by our ancestors thousands of years ago, but it should not be forgotten today. Note 1: The allusion comes from "The Book of Songs Drumming", and the original sentence is "Life and death are rich, and children inherit". Hold your hand and grow old with your son. "It means the agreement between life and death and * * * soldiers. Appendix "Twenty-eight Years of Zuo Gong" excerpt from the original text: In winter, Gengyang people had a prison, but they could not break it, so they went to prison. Cabbage will get a lot of money from women. Wei E said to the woman Guan, "Your master doesn't bribe princes. If people are bullied, they seldom pay bribes. My son will protest. "All agreed. Leave the DPRK and stay in the DPRK. Enter, call. Compare, three sighs. Sit while eating. Wei Zi said, "I heard from Uncle Zhu that there is a saying:' Eat and never forget your worries.' Three sighs between children and food. Why? Say the same thing: or give two little people wine and not eat at night. From the beginning of feed, I was afraid of its shortcomings, so I sighed. In the middle, he blamed himself and said,' The general can eat it. Is there any shortcoming? So sigh again. When I finish my feedback, I am willing to be a gentleman's belly with the heart of a villain, just annoying. "Give son sneer at terrier Yang.