The story of ancient humorous jokes 1:

1, men can't drink. One day he was drunk and sent home by his friend, and his wife undressed him. He suddenly squinted at his wife and said with a smile? Miss, do you really look like my wife?

2. A couple has an ugly child, and they are very dissatisfied!

The woman said to the man, Look at the seeds you sow, the fertilizers you apply and the fruits you harvest. what do you think?

The husband stared at his wife for a while, and then said simply, this is a good seed, the fat is good, but this place is not very good!

3. Wife: You said you didn't wash dishes or mop the floor. What did you do?

Husband: You!

4, when sleeping at night, the waist is uncomfortable, let the wife massage.

She pressed it for a while and then stopped pressing it.

I said, you press it for a while.

My wife said, hey hey, don't press it. I have calculated the time. As long as you make me comfortable, I will make you comfortable!

My wife has been pregnant for more than 3 months, and MIMI is getting bigger and bigger.

I said, wife, you are only three months old. Why is it so big here? I'm so happy!

Wife: You don't know anything. As the saying goes, the soldiers and horses have not moved, and the food and grass go first.

Me: ....

Story 2 of ancient humorous jokes:

1, I: If you have money, will you buy me a plane to work?

Husband:? Yes ?

Me:? You have so much money to let me work? What if someone makes me angry?

Husband:? If you see someone unhappy, hit him with a plane! ?

2. When a wife gives birth to a child in a hospital, let her husband accompany her.

Giving birth to a child is very painful. The wife took her husband's hand and said painfully, honey, no, no? .

Her husband said:? I knew I didn't want it. I'm not saying my husband wants it. I want it. Do I want it? !

3. Someone heard from his wife that a cousin was addicted to gambling and lost everything to sell his house at a low price to pay off his debts.

As soon as he heard the news, he was anxious and quickly said, we can't just watch and stand by. Anyway, we are related. We should take care of each other and sell them to us at a cheaper price.

4. My teeth are not good. Today, my second-rate husband said to me: Wife, when you are old and all your teeth are gone, you can't eat any more. Can I bite my favorite food into your mouth?

Me: What's your favorite food?

My husband said without hesitation: sugar cane.

5. I went shopping with my husband and went to a jewelry store. A lady was buying a ring. It was beautiful.

My husband may see that I really want that ring and ask, do you like it?

I am very happy to nod again and again. My husband said: read more if you like, and others will buy it in the future.

Nima .

Story 3 of ancient humorous jokes:

1. Yesterday I asked my husband if he liked me to wear jeans or stockings.

Husband said: I like my daughter-in-law to wear pants and other women to wear stockings.

2. Me: Wife, I bought you a bottle of perfume.

Daughter-in-law: How much?

Me: You can sleep with me.

Wife: 400 yuan.

If I know anything,

When my husband started chasing me, I thought he was handsome but had poor aesthetics. After years of training, his aesthetics are getting better and better, and now he finally begins to dislike me for not being beautiful enough!

My husband is in a bad mood and has been drinking. . .

The wife asked, What are you doing?

Husband said: don't talk to me, I want to be quiet!

The wife turned around with her mouth wide open and asked, TMD, who is quiet?

Really, sometimes it's hard to be quiet in life. . .

Husband took his wife for a ride, remembering that he had been slapped in the face, and he felt uncomfortable and parked his car on the side of the road.

The wife asked, What are you doing?

The husband replied impatiently: I want to stop. What's the matter?

Wife: Damn, I just want to be quiet and Tingting! Another big mouth.

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