An example of parents educating their children: Fan Zhongyan
? Worry about the world first, and enjoy it later? It is a famous sentence written by Fan Zhongyan in The Story of Yueyang Tower, and it is also a true portrayal of his life.
Fan Zhongyan was born in a poor family in Wuxian County, Suzhou. The poor life in his early years made him develop a good habit of frugality and simplicity. Later, he became a big official in North Korea, and his salary was often used to help the poor, but his sons and nephews had to take turns to put on better clothes and go out as guests.
In autumn, Fan Chunren, the second son of Fan Zhongyan, will hold a wedding. Fan Chunren knew his father's morality and family rules, so he naturally dared not dream of holding a grand and luxurious wedding. Ren Jun thought to himself: getting married and starting a business is a major event in life, so you have to buy some clothes and personal belongings. If you just buy some simple things, you will naturally get your father's approval, but it is not easy for your newly married wife and father-in-law to explain; My wife and father-in-law are naturally willing to buy something a little better, but my father's family rules are not easy to pass.
After careful consideration, Fan Chunren finally decided to buy only one or two slightly more expensive ones, which can be shared by both father and daughter. Therefore, Ren Jun made a list of things to buy and bravely handed it to his father.
Unexpectedly, Fan Zhongyan looked at the list and immediately said with a straight face: Ren Jun, what are your plans for those two treasures you want to buy? Is my family style going to be broken in your hands? Marriage is naturally a major event in life, but what is the contradiction between it and thrift? How can you make excuses? Life events? To be extravagant and wasteful?
Fan Chunren was ashamed of what he said. He bowed his head, summoned up his courage and murmured to his father:? Fan's frugal family style has been familiar to children since childhood. When buying luxury goods and expensive goods, the son knows his mistakes. However, there is one thing that the child has been worried about for a long time and told his father truthfully today. These days, the couple wanted to use Luo Qi as a curtain. The child knew that it didn't conform to the family style and didn't dare to promise, but her parents came forward again. The child didn't dare to insist on not buying it out of respect. ?
Hearing this, Fan Zhongyan was furious and pointed to Fan Chunren and said? If you admit your mistake, I won't hold you accountable. But for decades, the Fan family has been frugal and self-controlled and ashamed of luxury. Wouldn't it be bad for my fan to use Luo Qi as a curtain? Respect for small things, family style is the big thing. You can tell them that if you insist on using Luo Qi as a curtain, I, Fan Zhongyan, dare to burn it in the yard! ?
Because of Fan Zhongyan's insistence, Fan Chunren's wedding ceremony was very simple. He didn't buy anything expensive and luxurious, nor did he hold a grand and luxurious wedding. Not only has Fan Zhongyan's family style been maintained, but his colleagues have also been greatly educated.
Example 2 of Parents Educating Children: Yue Fei
Yue Fei was a famous military general in ancient China. Southern Song Dynasty anti-gold star, national hero.
Yue Fei left home to join the army at the age of 20. On the day before he left, his mother-in-law Yao Shi encouraged his son Yue Fei to establish? Serve the country with your own body? Good pay, a needle in your back? Loyal to the country? Four big characters, keep in mind, and serve the country to death. ? Yue Jiajun? Rewards and punishments are clear, discipline is strict, and 8 Jin Army has his own? It's easy to shake the mountain, but difficult to shake the Yuegujun? Sigh, finally by Qin Gui and others? No need? For murder. Yue Fei attached great importance to the people's resistance to gold and always advocated active attack in order to win the struggle against gold. He was the only commander in chief who organized a large-scale anti-gold movement in the early Southern Song Dynasty.
Yue Fei himself has five sons. Just as his mother did to herself, he taught them very strictly. It stands to reason that as a commander-in-chief commanding a million-strong army, his salary at that time was quite large, which could enable his children to live a richer life. But he always kept a relatively simple life, and used the extra money as military expenses to reward the sergeant. Yue Fei wears only linen instead of silk at home every day. The usual meals at home are wheat flour and vegetables, and meat is rarely used, and it is stipulated that several sons are not allowed to drink. Yue Fei also often lets his sons go to the farmland to engage in all kinds of labor after studying. He said, it's hard for children to grow crops. You must know that, right? .
Yue Yun, the eldest son of Yue Fei, joined the army at the age of 12 and became a small sergeant. Yue Fei is very strict with Yue Yun's martial arts practice. On one occasion, Yue Yun wore heavy armor and practiced riding down a steep slope. On a whim, he forgot to pay attention to the terrain and ran down the hill. As a result, people and horses were planted in a ditch, their clothes fell below, and their faces were covered with blood. Yue Fei was furious when he saw it and ordered the sergeant to hit him with a 100 stick. All the soldiers begged, but he still refused. He said:? The predecessor is the enemy, too! ? Yue Fei believes that the usual exercises should be considered wartime. If this happens when the two armies are at war, they will not only lose their lives, but also lose the battle. Therefore, if you don't strictly educate your son according to military law now, you will love him on the surface, but actually harm him! Due to Yue Fei's strict education, Yue Yun soon became an invincible and brave general.
Yue Yun is fighting the nomads from the army. Brave the three armies? What did the soldiers call him for his repeated exploits? Winner? . Yue Fei kept his contribution secret for many times, until other generals urged him many times and the court personally investigated it before ratifying it. At that time, Song Gaozong gave Yue Yun and Lian Jin the third class merit, but Yue Fei declined. He said sincerely in the table:? Many soldiers risked their lives, at most, they were promoted to a higher level. Although my son has made a little contribution, how can he be promoted to the third level?
Therefore, some soldiers said that Yue Fei treated his son. Punish more than a scholar, reward more than a scholar? .
Example 3 of Parents Educating Children: Zheng Banqiao
Zheng Banqiao (1693- 1765) belonged to the Qing dynasty? Eight eccentrics in Yangzhou? One. His son Bao Xiao lived in Zheng Mo's younger brother's house in Xinghua County when he was a county magistrate in Wei County, Shandong Province.
Bao Xiao went to school when he was six years old. In order to educate his son, Zheng Banqiao wrote a letter to his younger brother Zheng Mo, which read:? I didn't have a son until I was 52. How can I not love him? However, love must be based on its own way, and its way is true love, not its way is doting. ?
His? Tao? What is this? He said:? Being an official while studying is a trivial matter. First, you should be a good person. ?
Zheng Banqiao himself is a scholar. He doesn't look down on scholars. What he despises is that he studies to be an official.
What Zheng Banqiao values most is his son's character. He said to his brother, when I am away, my son is in your charge. If you want to cultivate his loyalty and drive away his cruelty, don't think that your younger son dotes on you too much. ? He advocates that his children and servants' children should be treated equally. He said:? Family and children are always ordinary people in the world. We should cherish them as a general rule, and we should not let our children abuse others. All the fish meal and fruitcake should be distributed, and everyone jumped for joy. If our son sits on a delicious food and lets his family look at him from a distance, his lips and teeth can't touch, and his parents will feel sorry for him when they see it. There is nothing to do, and it is not cruel to ask him to go! ?
Later, Zheng Banqiao did not trust Bao Xiao's growth, so he took him with him and often educated Bao Xiao to know the difficulties of eating and dressing, and to sympathize with the poor. Educate your son? Understand the principle of good people? 、? Farmers who love the world? . Thanks to Zheng Banqiao's strict education and example, Bao Xiao has made rapid progress.