American men hold oriental beauties. In the San Francisco Bay Area where I live, China women can often be seen holding American men. The China women around foreigners are often ugly, belonging to the category that men in China demote as "yellow-faced women". Therefore, men in China will inevitably come to the conclusion that only ugly women will marry American men. This conclusion makes sense. When a woman from China grew up in China, she was first chosen by a man from China, and before she fell into the hands of an American man, the man from China chose the rest. There is only one criterion for men to choose a spouse in China: looks. As a result, China men pick the rest, and naturally they are ugly women. What moved me was that those "ugly girls" who were "abandoned" by China men found love in American men. American men are not blind to the wrinkles and spots on the face of the woman next to them. Hollywood and Broadway have the same aesthetic view of women as men in China. What is precious is that many American men can go beyond appearance to discover a woman's strengths and heart, which makes me very moved as a woman. It is said that there are more than 10 million Chinese residents in the San Francisco Bay Area, but I only found two Chinese on the "honorary list" of voluntary blood donors of the American Red Cross in San Jose (according to the surnames and photos on the list), which is disproportionate to the huge Chinese population in the Bay Area. Today, when the whole Chinese nation is crazy about money, mate selection naturally becomes a sorting activity. It is a common standard for men in China to choose a spouse that the beautiful ones are in the top and the ugly ones are in the bottom. In China, the angle of women's mate selection is ranked according to the success of men. The measure of success is nothing more than fame and profit. No wonder "The Bell Curve" came out, and China's website was cheered, just because the book listed China people as one of the nationalities with the highest IQ, while the average IQ of blacks was the lowest. People in China are more enthusiastic about this activity than people in any other country in the world. For men in China, the process of mate selection is no different from hunting in ancient times. Whoever hits the most difficult prey is a hero. China man proudly brings the woman he "hunted" to the public, which is also a display of the achievements of survival competition, just as he shows off his Mercedes-Benz and garden houses to others. For those American men who hold China's ugly hand, China men love to criticize them for their lack of vision. Do American men really have no vision? This conclusion is as simple and hasty as the argument that westerners are "stupid" and China people are "smart" in an article some time ago. Beauty standards in Hollywood and Broadway have been mentioned. In fact, even the youth idols advocated by American primary and secondary school students are almost the same as the beauty standards advocated by men in China. American men are driven by biological instinct when they are young, and they also pursue beautiful girls with beautiful appearance. Once they grow up, especially after a good education, they are no longer satisfied with just pursuing beautiful appearance, but pay more attention to the inner impact and exchange of ideas, which is a transcendence of their biological instinct. Men in China can't accept ugly girls, because they are still in the primary stage of survival competition based on biological instinct, and a person will not consider higher-level satisfaction until the most basic biological needs are met. In China, beautiful women can stimulate men's sexual desire, but ugly women can't, which in turn shows that men in China are still in the primary stage of satisfying sexual desire. Forssell mentioned in his book Style that the upstarts like to drive shiny new Mercedes around the city, while the "old money" are willing to sit quietly in dusty Plymouth. An Englishman once told me that those who wear shabby corduroy suits and have worn off their elbows are probably the earl and duke, because these "old money" are full of confidence in their hearts. As you can imagine, if you let a rich man in China drive a shabby old Plymouth on the road, he will definitely refuse. You made a successful China man marry an ugly girl, which made him miserable. The two are interlinked. It's not that men in China don't need to exchange ideas, but that they prefer to communicate with their male friends, while women only listen to them. Men in China can't tolerate a woman as his equal. A woman with a little ability is ridiculed as a "strong woman". Who is a strong woman? That is an "alternative" that everyone is far away from. Strong women make men feel strongly threatened. A man in China needs to show his strength in front of a woman and be respected by her, so this woman must be lower than him. I once saw a female doctor from China show kindness to a male compatriot who graduated from undergraduate course, which provoked the male compatriot to flee in a hurry. This male compatriot who works as a small white-collar worker in an American company is more willing to go back to Chinese mainland to "interview" dozens of young beauties, including receptionists in five-star hotels. China men expect women to worship their heyday; China men look forward to women's comfort in the low tide of failure. What a man in China is looking for is actually a copy of his mother, a woman who loves him, a woman who worships him, and a woman who can satisfy him, not the woman he loves. When a China man is sad because he is rejected by a woman, his friends will persuade him that being a woman is not worth it. I only heard that men in China will do anything for their friends. Apart from the legendary Liang Shanbo, when have you ever heard that a China man is willing to give up everything for the woman he loves? Edward VIII, the former king of England in the late 1930s, is a great lover who is famous for "not loving mountains and rivers, but loving beauty". So that every Valentine's Day, Edward VIII will be praised by the media as a model of love. He mentioned that he took the mountains and rivers that he "sent" to the British Empire as a dowry, preferring to give up the power of the king and marry an American civilian woman who is five years older than himself and has been divorced twice. Since then, he has been faithful to her. Perhaps the history of the sudden downfall of the British king because of a woman will be judged by some people in China with the ancient history of China as a mirror and "a femme fatale". No one saved his wife. An American female teacher who came to China to teach asked her China students a question: A husband fell into the river with his mother, wife and children. At that time, the situation only allowed the husband to save one person. Who do you think he should save first? Immediately, the whole class had a heated discussion. Some people say that nature is to save the mother first. At this time, it is a critical moment to serve the elderly. Another student's opinion is that saving children is the most important thing, and children represent hope and future. After everyone spoke enthusiastically, the female teacher frowned and asked loudly with dissatisfaction: "You are all unwilling to save your wife, why?" The students looked at each other silently. Kan Kan, a female teacher, said, "I think it is most worthwhile to save my wife first. Because my mother is old, she is close to the end of her life journey; Children are not young enough to feel great pain. However, when your wife goes through this disaster with you, the rest of your life will inevitably make you more dependent, share weal and woe, and you will have children. " Obviously, there is no doubt about the differences between Chinese and western cultures in the order of family members. According to China Confucian filial piety, the grandparents and parents of the elderly are the heads of the family; The second is children, there are three unfilial, and the family background must not be broken; There are brothers like brothers, and everyone is born from the same root; Finally, it is the husband-wife relationship, and the wife is the guest. In the west, things are different. Influenced by Christian monogamy, the order of family arrangement is: husband and wife, children, parents, brothers and sisters. The Bible says that God created men and women, so people should leave their parents and wives to become one, and husband and wife are the foundation of the family. American men have no intention of praising their partners. Many women in China say that they like being with American men because they "feel good". American men never mean to praise women. This kind of praise is almost a daily behavior. Even an ordinary-looking woman, American men will sincerely praise her talent, beauty of mind and wisdom, and even because of her "beauty of mind", her appearance will become beautiful and moving. I remember in the early 1980s, when an old Hollywood movie star visited China, he met the former China movie star Wang at a dinner party. When Wang showed him the stills of her old fisherman rocking his fishing boat in coarse clothes, Peck praised Wang, who was over half a year old, for his beauty. Wang lamented afterwards that Parker praised the wrinkled old lady whose silver hair was blown away by the sea breeze, which is definitely the definition of senior beauty. Educated American men also give China women due respect. An American man with a good education will naturally show various manners of respecting women. What I mean here is not only the superficial gentlemanly demeanor of helping women open doors and put on coats, but also a western gentleman with profound connotation who knows how to respect and appreciate the intrinsic value of women. In contrast, I have heard more than one China man say that if you want to catch up with a very beautiful girl, you must first destroy her pride. Men in China often criticize, criticize and criticize their wives. They also call it "for your own good". China's husband seldom sends flowers to his wife on the grounds that "I will give you something more practical". So, now that there are American men for comparison, how can China women not abandon darkness for a bright future? China men in the United States often complain that it is increasingly difficult to find "lovely" and "virtuous" wives. "Care" means complete dedication; "Virtue" is nothing more than resignation and willingness to work. Indeed, there are fewer women in China who are totally devoted to the United States. Therefore, all men in China will go back to the mainland to find brides, and exchange their green cards for temporary obedience and a little condescending pleasure. Poor China man, why can't he win women's love with his selfless love and sincere respect for women from outside to inside? Besides looks, another courtship criterion of China men is that they are very concerned about their age. Browse newspapers and online advice on marriage, and you will find that all men in China require women to be younger than him. Men aged 20-30 often ask women to be younger than him 1 to 5 years old. For men aged 30 to 40, women are required to be 5 to 15 years younger than him. On the other hand, there is no age limit for American men to reveal their marriage. I once met a mainland female student who married an American man who was 9 years younger than her. She said that when a 25-year-old American classmate pursued her at the age of 34, she couldn't believe her ears. Another American man married a female doctor in China who was 15 years older than himself. It is unthinkable for many men in China to marry a wife who is 9 years or even 15 years older than himself. Another difference between China and the United States is that men in China often list their achievements, such as education, occupation, professional title, economic conditions, and even houses with several rooms and several halls. American men, on the other hand, list their personal hobbies and personality traits. What impressed me most was that she was entrusted by a friend to help her sister browse personals of American men on the Internet. I translated the marriage advice suitable for her age to this lady. After listening to four or five articles, the lady became impatient and complained loudly: "Why don't they mention their financial situation, what degree they have, what kind of house they have, how much they earn every month, what level of professional title they are now, and so on?" It is full of Rory's nagging about what TV programs he likes to watch, what sports he likes to play, what music he likes to listen to and what books he likes to read. How to love animals, how to love hiking, etc. What does this have to do with me? How can Americans choose their spouses so seriously? "Her feelings reveal the essential differences in courtship mentality and standards between China and the United States: courtship in China is a" meticulous "sorting ceremony, just like taking the college entrance examination. What score can determine which college you enter. A radish is a pit, and inferior radish can't be mixed into the high pit. Americans are looking for a life partner, a soul partner with their own interests. And God has given those unfortunate ugly women born in China a way out: to marry American men. What a merciful god.