A strong woman is not equal to a strong woman. When we talk about strength, we mean more character than occupation. Many strong women are "iron ladies" at work, but they become "little ladies" when they come home, but their marriages are very happy. On the contrary, some women may not have a big career, but they have a big temper and great momentum, and they especially like to be uncompromising at home. We call this kind of wife who likes to be the "queen" at home a strong woman.
Psychological counseling found that, generally speaking, when the father's role in this family becomes more and more marginalized, the mother will become more and more tough and even uncompromising. From the point of view that children will always agree with same-sex parents, daughters will agree with their tough mothers, and over time, daughters will become tough daughters. In many families, nervous mothers and daughters are often mothers and daughters with the same personality, that is, tough mothers must have tough daughters; A mother with a bad temper will certainly pass on her bad temper to her daughter. Sometimes you will find some interesting phenomena. When a daughter resists her mother's tyranny, she secretly inherits her mother's tyranny, which will naturally be brought into her future relationship with her daughter.
2, constraints make children lose self-confidence, children are emotionally unstable, have no opinions, and rely too much on their parents. Excessive discipline can easily obliterate a child's personality.
Many mothers regard the cultivation of their children as a way of self-realization. If they can successfully train their children into famous talents, they often attach their own values to their children. The success of children is their success, and the failure of children is their failure. Therefore, mothers have to transfer this pressure to their children, virtually imposing their will on their children, and children become inferior in various constraints. Excessive demands lead children to lose their sense of security and increase their psychological pressure. At this time, the child became exhausted, and no criticism could move him. He became depressed and mediocre.
In front of the tough mother, the daughter chooses to agree unconditionally, but for the son, there will be another situation, which is unconditional escape. Because when a mother always criticizes and criticizes her husband, she is actually criticizing and criticizing all men. As a male, the son will inevitably hide in the corner like his father.
Therefore, when a wife who is too strong likes to laugh and ridicule her weak husband, she actually throws the same ridicule and ridicule to her son. Therefore, a tough wife must have a weak son. The more she accused her husband of cowardice, the more cowardly her son became.
A strong mother will make her son unmanly.
Many mothers are very capable now. In controlling and dominating the family, it is often based on the mother's will and leadership. Therefore, patriarchy cannot reflect its dominant position. If a family wants to maintain relative harmony, the father can only "resolutely support" the mother's opinions and suggestions, otherwise it will be a quarrel or a cold war. As a result, the weak father gave up his family leadership.
It is really unfortunate for a boy to live in such a matriarchal family. When children are young, strong mothers can't show any problems. When children are in infancy and childhood, due to the weakness of the father, they can't stop the mother from interfering too much with the children, and the children will have various problems.
Question 1: It is difficult for boys to be masculine. Children who know little about male strength will suffer from "lack of fatherly love syndrome", lack of masculinity, slow development of weight, height and movements, emotional disorders such as anxiety and weak self-control, and will also become cowardly, timid, withdrawn and inferior in character. After entering the society, there will be all kinds of discomfort, unable to act according to their own gender role norms, like to marry a strong woman, unable to become a reliable husband.
Question 2: Let children disrespect authority. A family without patriarchy will not only lead children to learn to respect authority and understand hierarchy from their fathers, but also make them think that men are the same as their fathers. At the same time, in a dysfunctional family, children often instinctively please the "strong", especially boys, when facing a strong mother. They will also follow their mothers, unconsciously resist their fathers and ignore their opinions.
Question 3: overprotect children. A strong mother is a sign of her insecurity, which will make her a typical protector. I am afraid that the problems I am worried about will appear on my children. As long as it is not good for children, I want to filter it out and avoid it through my own efforts. As a result, the mother arranged everything and asked the children to follow her in thought and behavior. Finally, children will be totally dependent on their mothers, which further confirms their ideas.
Question 4: putting too much pressure on children. A strong mother is often a perfectionist with outstanding ability, and will take the cultivation of her children as a method of self-realization and ask her children to do their best. So I invisibly imposed my will on my children and attached my value to them. It is undeniable that these powerful mothers have paid a lot, but it is precisely these "contributions" that make children feel pressure, which easily makes children lose their sense of security and self-confidence, and causes their psychological inferiority in adulthood.
Question 5: Make it difficult for children to be independent. A strong mother is strong not only in front of her husband, but also in front of her children. Children are not allowed to say "no". Being under the strong control of the mother for a long time naturally ignores the characteristics and feelings of the child, and there are not many opportunities for the child to make decisions independently in life. Everything is taught, directed and arranged by my strong mother. Over time, children will give up their promises, lose their ability to solve problems and face life independently, and form unconditional obedience and dependence on their mothers.