Reliable interview skills. Who can be trusted? If people in the workplace want to gain the trust of others, they must have a special listening ability, which is called empathy listening. Let's take a closer look at who can be trusted in reliable interview skills.

Reliable interview skills Who can be trusted 1 scene 1, Xiao Wang and colleagues: colleagues frown in doubt and think about talking. Xiao Wang stared at his mobile phone, looked up at his colleagues from time to time, and then looked down at his mobile phone. Just after the colleague finished speaking, Xiao Wang went on to say, "I see, don't worry." Listen like Xiao Wang, and you will gain a kind of distrust every time you communicate. The more people he knows, the greater the resistance to promotion. So Xiao Wang's career will be in the same place.

Scene 2, Xiao Zhang and his colleague: The colleague said doubtfully that Xiao Zhang leaned forward, stared at his colleague with a puzzled face, listened quietly and took notes from time to time. After the colleague finished speaking, Xiao Zhang was lost in thought. After a long time, Xiao Zhang said, "I didn't think of a better way. I'll think it over. I'll come to you at two o'clock tomorrow afternoon. " Listen like Xiao Zhang, and you can gain trust every time you communicate. The more people he knows, the more opportunities he has. So Xiao Zhang will be promoted step by step.

The root of trust is listening. After years of research, psychologists have found that to gain the trust of others, we must first have a special listening ability, which is called empathy listening.

Empathy listening is to empty the glass first and then fill it. Listener, first empty your emotions and thoughts (empty cup), and then concentrate on receiving the emotions and thoughts of your confidante (full cup). In this way, the glass of water of a confidante becomes two glasses of water for two people, and the comparison of these two glasses of water is consultation. This kind of negotiable listening is empathy listening, which is defined as listening in the cognition and emotion of a confidante.

People who think big want someone to discuss it. If you know how to listen empathetically, you will become a celebrity around big people. If a big shot can't think clearly, he needs you to help him sort out his glass of water. In this case, the big man will trust you highly. The world may misunderstand that you are clinging to power. And you and the big shots know that this is trust, not persistence.

Mrs. wallis simpson, the world has a deep misunderstanding about her. King Edward VIII of England gave up the throne for her. She is neither beautiful nor young. She has been divorced twice. From a secular point of view, she is not worthy of the wise king of SHEN WOO. Some people speculate that she used improper means to attract the king. In fact, her charm lies in sympathy and listening.

1930, Edward, still a prince, met Wallis. Edward was very moved when they talked for the first time. When we first met, Edward asked Wallis, Are you American? Then you must be funny, right? Wallis did not answer, but asked inquiringly, Your Highness, why do you think Americans are funny?

Edward was surprised by Wallis' rhetorical question, which showed that Wallis was very interested in his thinking process and invited him to further elaborate his ideas. This kind of interaction, he has never experienced. With their further contact, Edward found that Wallis always led him to reflect on his own thinking process. Wallis is like a mirror. He can see his thoughts in the mirror. This experience is wonderful. Before that, no one helped him clear his mind. When he met something, no one discussed it with him. This wonderful experience made him feel good about Wallis.

Edward fell in love with Wallis after visiting Wales. In Wales, Edward visited the slums. Facing the poor, he was ashamed and made a speech: something must be done to help the nobles get rid of such a noble life.

In the government's view, the future king is interfering in the administration. Various factions in the ruling and opposition parties concentrated their firepower and criticized him in the newspapers and accused him of being a socialist. His parents accused him of indiscretion and decency. Only Wallis asked him seriously what the scene was, his feelings and thoughts. Edward is very emotional. Wallis is the only one who cares about the thoughts and feelings of people around him. Others just evaluate him and don't want to know him.

1936 65438+In February, Edward decided to abdicate when he became the queen of heaven for 325 days. In his speech, he explained the reason for abdication as follows: Without the woman I love, I can't bear the heavy responsibility of the king.

You can't be a king without Wallis, which people think is unreasonable. But for Edward, it's a fact. Only Wallis knows how to empathize with the people around him. Through her, the king can clear his mind. Without Wallis, Edward is the puppet king. This love for the country may be the swan song in human history. In today's world, there are more than one million psychologists who know empathy. Theoretically, any one of them can help Edward rebuild his personality.

Trust-based work requires sympathetic listening. In the company, the key account manager, chief of staff and secretary of the board of directors need a high degree of trust. In society, investment consultants, management coaches and private lawyers need a high degree of trust. Empathy listening should be given priority in the recruitment of such positions, because it is the ability formed in early childhood, and it is very difficult to study in adulthood.

Empathy listening has three key steps: concentration, emotional synchronization and thinking synchronization. Let's take a mother listening to her child as an example to illustrate these three steps.

1. Concentrate: Listen to the child and the mother pays attention to the child. She looked at the child, her mind was empty, her mood was calm, she had no preset position and subjective mood, like a clean mirror. Focus is to open your heart, and mothers open their emotions and thoughts to their children. In this interaction, children can learn how to open their hearts to others.

2. Emotional synchronization: listen to the children, the mother and the children's emotions change together, and experience the children's feelings. If the child doesn't show emotion, the mother will ask, how do you feel? Emotional synchronization is a channel for children to experience their mothers' emotions. For children, synchronizing with their mother's emotions can turn their mother's emotional intelligence into their own.

3. Thinking synchronization: Listening to the child, the mother will follow the child's thinking and review the child's thinking process. If the child's expression has a leap of thought, the mother will ask, what do you think? Thinking synchronization is also a channel for children to learn their mother's logical reasoning and turn their mother's IQ into their own.

Mastering these three steps is the task to be completed in childhood. If a person never opened his heart to his parents in childhood, it will be difficult for him to open his heart to others in adulthood. Because children's trust in their parents is the highest level of trust. If the job requires a higher level of trust, it is difficult for him to be competent.

Therefore, empathetic listening is basically a lifelong ability formed in childhood. The question is, if I apply, how can I judge my empathy listening ability?

In order to test empathy listening, there are two tests to be done. One is "backtracking test", which allows candidates to review the thinking process of their last decision. Only by reviewing your own thinking process can you understand the thinking process of others while listening. The other is "context test", which examines whether candidates can perceive the change of context when listening.

Context test needs the cooperation of two interviewers. One interviewer asks questions in a formal tone, while the other interjects two oral style questions, such as: Who do you admire most among the bosses you have followed? What is the boss's killer weapon?

I can answer this question in oral style, which shows that I can find the change of context and change my context according to the change. Having this ability shows that when I listen, my thoughts and emotions are open, just like a mirror, and what I receive reflects what I receive.

Empathy listening is a clean mirror, without delusions and distractions, as Huineng, the sixth ancestor, said: the heart is like a mirror, not dusty.

What are the trustworthy aspects of reliable interview skills? Are you good at judging people?

You know, if you are good at reading minds, you can find sincere and worthwhile people from the people around you.

If you are not good at judging people, you will inevitably meet some "little people" who are sincere.

Therefore, if you want to distinguish between sincerity and hypocrisy of human nature, you may wish to refer to the following points and learn how to distinguish a person.

1, shirk in case of trouble, and take no responsibility.

Fan Hong is an extroverted person who works in a media company. Because of his quick thinking, he always puts forward some particularly novel ideas, which arouses the great interest of the leaders. So the company leaders unanimously decided to put him in charge of following up the small video project.

At the beginning, due to Fan Hong's novel ideas and ideas, a lot of small videos made have gained huge traffic and praise, and gained a lot of fans at one time.

However, just relying on novel ideas to catch the eye and brush the content of the flow, after all, lacks the soul. Although it can give the audience a bright visual stimulus, there is no substantive content to retain the audience, the traffic is getting less and less, and the project suddenly enters the bottleneck.

Because the project didn't make progress for several months, when the leaders talked with Fan Hong to ask the reason, Fan Hong blamed the current limitations of the platform, insufficient funds and substandard actors. , but never reflect on their own problems. In the end, the company invested a lot of money, but there was no progress, and he was to blame. Soon after, the company also ordered him to leave.

The doctrine of the mean says, "cultivate one's morality, keep one's family in order, govern the country and secure the world." People who do great things, the most important thing is to cultivate self-cultivation and correct attitude first, so that they can become responsible. A responsible person, with a sense of responsibility for himself, his career and others, can do your work and projects well. If this person, instead of looking for his own problems, always finds some excuses to shirk responsibility, then it shows that he is not sincere enough and will expose his hypocritical nature one day.

2, haggle over every ounce, no brains

Kuang Kuang is a lively and outgoing person, but she doesn't get along well with her friends and colleagues. She is a hard-nosed person.

She doesn't want to suffer, the speaker is unintentional, the listener is intentional, and others are joking. She will think that others are attacking her personally, and she will immediately return the favor, so she has few friends.

She rents a house by herself, and there are five girls living in four rooms and two halls. Water and electricity are shared equally, and everyone is nothing. However, she always takes a bath next door every day. So-and-so often uses air conditioning and never uses it herself. On the grounds that so-and-so cooks three meals at home every day, he makes himself lose a penny, and he often gets into trouble with his roommates.

And she keeps a dog in the dormitory. She can only leave her dog in the dormitory when she goes to work in summer. Because of the orientation problem, the whole room is exposed to the sun, just like a steamer. She was worried that the dog would die of heat in the dormitory and had a whim. Anyway, everyone pays the electricity bill together, so she turns on the air conditioner in her room and lets the dog blow it.

At the end of the month, because the electricity bill suddenly doubled, the other four roommates felt very abrupt and decided to supervise each other after communicating with each other. Finally, it was exposed that she turned on the air conditioner and blew the dog. Everyone jointly complained to the landlord, let her bear the electricity bill last month and this month alone, and kicked her out.

People who like to haggle over every ounce are so selfish that they have applied the advantages and disadvantages to the limit. This kind of person will treat others with a superior and inferior attitude, regardless of work, social interaction or his own family, only considering his own interests without empathy, not sincere enough, and certainly will not get sincere friends.

3, angry when something happens, not mature enough.

Zhang Tao used to be a bad-tempered taxi driver. He is often complained about quarreling with passengers. Finally, he felt that he didn't earn much, so he switched to driving a bus.

But even if he changed careers, he didn't get rid of the habit of losing his temper and going his own way. On the bus, it is easy to meet all kinds of passengers, and it is inevitable that there will be passengers with bad hobbies. However, his outspoken and unforgiving habit makes him often abuse each other in dialect. When he meets a timid passenger, the other person forgets when he thinks about it. Don't haggle with him, and often quarrel while driving.

However, the fine did not solve his bad habit after all. The so-called wicked have their own wicked grinding. Once on a bus, a able-bodied passenger saw Zhang Tao insulting an aunt, and he couldn't stand it any longer. When the car stopped, he pulled the driver out of the car, punched him in the street and left. He finally called the police. When the police learned about the situation, they saw that he had no problem and the matter was dropped.

People can't control their emotions, which is a sign of low emotional intelligence. People who lack self-control will not live in high circles. Therefore, if you meet someone who lacks emotional control, especially someone with a bad temper, don't lower your profile and contact such people, wasting your precious social energy.

Of course, the best way to learn to look at people is not what he says, but what he does. Doing things is the best way to reflect a person's attitude, from which you can determine the other person's values and thus establish your own valuable circle of contacts. When you master this skill, your pattern will rise to a new height.