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? Hu Yinmeng: I feel like I've lived twice.
The most important factor that contributed to Hu Yinmeng's trip to Chinese mainland was that the Oriental Publishing Center published the simplified Chinese version of her autobiography "The Incredible Life". The book reveals her marriage to the famous writer Li Ao, which lasted only 3 months and 22 days. This short marriage made Li Ao unforgettable for more than 20 years. Li Ao once said: "Hu Yinmeng is a standard beauty, but she is a failed talented woman, and now she is finally old …" So, what is the real Hu Yinmeng? In the eyes of reporters, 53-year-old Hu Yinmeng is still an absolute beauty, wearing her favorite Chinese and Western clothes and talking about the past, restrained and gentle. But the love-hate relationship with Li Ao still can't make her give up completely.

Hu Yinmeng as a movie star.

Q: Your original name was Yi Ning, but later it was changed to a factor. After art, you got the name Yin Meng, and now you have removed the grass prefix of Yin Meng. What is the reason?

Hu Yinmeng: My mother is interested in Buddhist scriptures. When I read the Tripitaka, I had the word "cause" to understand the causes of all things and troubles, so she named me "cause". Later, when I went to primary school, because my father was studying at Imperial University of Japan, I was given a name "Factor" with a little Japanese flavor. Another meaning of "factor" is "because of some factor, I got this child". This factor is the qigong teacher, who got through my mother's fallopian tube and got my mother pregnant.

I changed my name to Yinghou because I studied German in college. There is a famous German novel Yin Menghu. When I joined China Film Company, they said you might as well call Yin Menghu Hu Yinmeng upside down. "Yin" with the word "grass" feels more romantic. At the age of 33, I am going to take a photo. I think it is better to remove the grass prefix and reply to the meaning of "cause".

Question: You haven't studied acting. How did you become a movie star?

Hu Yinmeng: I have no acting foundation at all. Being an actor is accidental. I used to study painting, and I was quite active in the literary and art circles. I once visited an art exhibition in a gallery and met the director Xu Jinliang. Xu Jinliang has just returned from Italy. He wants to make a China costume drama. "How do I know through these clouds?" With a touch of Italian color. Seeing my long hair, close to the image of the heroine, he asked me if I was interested in acting. I said "Yes, give it a try" and became an actor. But in fact, I'm not interested in acting. The first film was boring, and all the shots were incoherent, waiting to be polished. After this movie, I went to new york, went to a modeling school, and met friends in the fashion and entertainment circles in new york at that time. I had a good time this year. From such a conservative place in Taiwan Province Province to new york, it was simply a Barbie feast of literature and art.

Q: Why did you go back to Taiwan Province Province to continue filming?

Hu Yinmeng: Mainly because of my mother. My parents divorced when I was 15 years old. My mother and I live alone. I have to come back to support my mother and work hard for a living. Came back to continue acting, so a performance lasted 15 years.

Question: Among so many movies, which one is more impressive?

Hu Yinmeng: I have made nearly 40 films, most of which are ridiculous, and I have no acting skills. There is only one movie, A Day on the Beach directed by Yang Dechang. Acting in this movie made me feel the value of being an actor, and I really felt that I was just a tool in other movies. I have been watching movies since I was 4 years old. I watched many films directed by screenwriters in new york, and the quality was very high. So when I went back to Taiwan Province Province to perform these plays, I felt that the gap was too big and the depth was not enough.

Only "A Day on the Beach" is good, and I also used German to dub it myself. This is the first film with my own voice (in the past, Taiwan Province films were dubbed by special people), and I think it is also very important. This play has a strong sense of realism, and the director demands more restraint. The same is true of western realistic films. The actors didn't overdo it. This play is the only one that suits me. In order to play well, I also mended the piano for two or three months.

Question: It is generally believed that a beautiful actress is a vase. Beyond the vase? When did you really understand and explore acting?

Hu Yinmeng: Never been surpassed. I began to learn and explore acting shortly after the performance of "A Day on the Beach", about 29 years old. I was already considering leaving the film industry, hoping to do something I was really interested in, but I felt I should make some contributions and achievements before leaving. At that time, sasha jackson Dana Wynter from June 6th came to Taiwan Province, and I was responsible for receiving her. In a private chat, I said that I was depressed about my whole career as an actress, and she suggested that I go to the H.B. studio in the United States for further study, which combined the two performance trends of "inside out" and "outside in".

Uta Hagen, the host of the studio, wrote a book "Respect for the Performing Arts", which is the "Bible" for American actors. Later, when she came back, she gave me this book. I thought it was great when I saw it. Then I went to the studio to learn about the whole acting process and translated the book. This book is the only classic in the performance circle of Taiwan Province Province, and it is still in reprint. For example, before filming, Ang Lee always suggested that China actors read this book.

Question: Since you found a way to improve your acting skills, why did you decide to leave the film industry?

Hu Yinmeng: Later, I found that my strength was not acting. I have great potential to go deep into philosophy, psychology and other spiritual and theoretical things, so I decided to quit. At that time, many people couldn't understand it, and neither could my mother, because I earned so much money as an actor, but I didn't want to work for money anymore. Translate, give speeches, hold reading meetings, do some public welfare activities, and slowly begin to turn to physical and mental exploration. I have traveled all over Taiwan Province Province for 20 years, helping many people know themselves. I think this life is worthwhile.

Hu Yinmeng, Li Ao's ex-wife.

Question: Are you a person who likes to escape from love?

Hu Yinmeng: In the early days, yes. I feel very hurt and can't pass the test. I always run away after a year and a half, and many relationships don't last long. For example, the first love with Tang is a pity in retrospect. I finally made up my mind to stick to my marriage with Li Ao, but I think I idolized him, took him too seriously and lived together. In fact, he is only a mortal, so I feel disillusioned.

Plus a financial lawsuit between him and Xiao Mengneng (Li Ao embezzled Xiao's antiques and furniture during Xiao Mengneng's going abroad, auctioned Xiao's house in Crystal Building, returned the house in Garden New Town, and changed his "quiet house" to a new name ...), I can't agree with his attitude towards friends and money, so I will testify in court because I know many facts.

Q: But from Li Ao's point of view, he always targeted at you afterwards, and gave this divorce political color, saying that you stood among those who opposed him and participated in the rally against Li Ao organized by the Kuomintang behind the scenes, which made him feel betrayed by his relatives, so he decided to divorce. Is there a political reason?

Hu Yinmeng: He has many excuses. He has many attacks. Many times he uses people's psychology to talk about politics, but it has nothing to do with politics. Xiao Mengneng and Hayes Records, who fought with him, have nothing to do with the Kuomintang, and I am even less interested in politics. These are all stories made up by him.

Question: Why did they turn against each other after the divorce? After so many years, they still can't reach an understanding?

Hu Yinmeng: Actually, I made up with him a long time ago, but he was always there against me. I think he is mainly afraid that I will tell some truth, so he wants to preempt others and make them not believe what I said. In fact, he is still guilty. But now that I'm writing a biography, I can't avoid these things. I have to write out the truth.

Question: According to your autobiography, is the disharmony in * * * also the reason for your separation?

Hu Yinmeng: Yes, there is a gap. I don't think he knows much about how to be intimate with a woman. That kind of intimacy needs emotional intimacy, not organ intimacy. He really doesn't understand. He still stays in the state of traditional male chauvinism.

Q: Besides, is there any reason why you broke up with Li Ao?

Hu Yinmeng: As far as personality is concerned, he is too nervous and passive. He is not only male chauvinism, but also a little anxious, which may be related to the long time in prison. He doesn't like listening to music at ordinary times, and he doesn't have any emotional activities except work. Outsiders see him as a gifted scholar, but living with him is very hard.

Question: More than 20 years have passed, and now you reflect on this marriage. Do you feel that you have some mistakes in it?

Hu Yinmeng: Of course, it was childish then. Without live high, there is no value of its own. I have written something myself, but I haven't formed my own world view, so I admire Li Ao's incisive criticism. I found that he was a thinker, but not a wise man. So I think my shortcoming is that I didn't have a real self as a woman in the early days. From this marriage, I learned how to develop myself and summon my inner potential. Work hard, because it is easy for a beautiful woman not to work hard.

Q: It is said that when you married Li Ao, your mother didn't agree, but it was because of her disapproval that you had to marry?

Hu Yinmeng: Actually, at first, my mother was very supportive. She also likes literature, admires Li Ao and thinks he is a gifted scholar. But then she and Li Ao had some money problems, and she began to object. I think she changed from approval to opposition too quickly. It was a 180 degree turn. My mother is a controlling person, and so is Li Ao. I belong to the more obedient kind, sandwiched between two strong people, as if I didn't have myself My mother said, "If I say you can't get married, you can't get married." Then I said, "No, I have to get married." Then put on pajamas and fled to Li ao's house to get married. Now look, there are my problems, too. I was impulsive and rebellious in my early days.

Question: Your parents' discord and unhappy marriage have influenced your views and practices on marriage?

Hu Yinmeng: Yes, of course. In fact, many places in my autobiography remind people how much parent-child relationship affects a person's future sexual relationship. We should understand the harm caused by the formation of parent-child relationship, and we should explore it ourselves. Many books I translated later have studied this piece-childhood experience.